Hey guys
#163538 - 03/23/05 11:58 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Sorry I haven't been reporting in, I have just been insanely busy all of a sudden with school and tutoring and stuff.
I have gained more weight, which is really disappointing because even though I haven't been reporting in I have still been counting calories. It feels so frustrating when I continuously deny myself food I want 'cause I worry about the calories, but still keep gaining weight.
Then the doctor said that with the medication I was on, I won't be able to lose weight!
I feel like crying.. I am not going to give up trying to lose, but I think I need to stop weighing myself. I get so down.. not that I won't realise how much I weigh - none of my clothes fit and I feel uncomfortable and self-conscious all the time. My boobs are so heavy now that my shoulders are constantly sore, and I have big welts in them from my bras but I am too scared of reduction surgery.
I am getting really depressed about the whole thing - all I keep thinking of is how my ex-friend has been telling people how fat and lazy I am now and I want so badly to prove her wrong, but I am just blowing up like a balloon.
See, now I am crying even as I am typing this out. I don't know what to do anymore, I think maybe I just need to take a break or something and try not to think about it 'cause it's really doing my head in.
Thank you for all your support over the past little while, you've all been really great. (Especially you, Shell!!).
I'll try and check in and see how the rest of you guys are doing, even if I don't report in for a while.
**hugs**
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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I'm so sorry things are so tough for you right now. Honestly, what a crappy (ex)friend! That's so horrid! 
Stopping the weighing sounds like a good idea. No need to be beating yourself up over arbitarary numbers anyway, right? I'd also quit denying yourself food - that's not the way to lose. Use discretion but don't go hungry. Especially now when you're not in the best emotional state. Denying yourself food can be insanely psychologically taxing.
HANG IN THERE! Huge hug for you... and keep coming around so we can give you all the support you need! Feel good about yourself, you're gorgeous!!!!! 
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Stephie, hugs to you, sweetheart. I"m in the same boat as you - my medication makes it extremely difficult to lose weight - anti depressants and an antipsychotic (to magnify the effect of the antidepressants). All reports show weight gain as a result of these meds. But I'm not giving up and neither should you. It's a simple formula of taking in less calories than what you're burning. Slowly but surely, the weight WILL come off. Make sure you're taking in enough calories, though, or Laurel will come and set you straight! Don't give up, honey. It's a very tough road, but ultimately, you'll feel better for watching what you eat. Hang in there! Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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