Depressed
#99884 - 08/21/04 06:17 AM
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heather7476
Reged: 08/09/04
Posts: 2996
Loc: South East Michigan
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Hello
I am feeling realy depressed right now. I know it is silly but I feel like my life is over. I have just started on this road and can't get my head to calm down about it. I went back on the pill after a year of trying to get pregnant. I feel like I let my husband down. He says I am being silly and he just wants me to get better but I feel like better may never happen. I know that my life will never be the same and I have never handled change well. I have no patience's with my daughter. She is a good girl but is a three year old. I feel like the worst mother in the world.
I have expencied depression when I was 19 but haven't had it in along time at least not this bad.I relized that by cooking big meals it made me feel like I was takeing care of my family. I still cook but is all quick stuff. Who wants to spend all day cooking then not be able to eat it. I am still doing the bland thing and miss my comfort foods big time. I have lost 20 pounds in the last month. Not that I didn't need to. i have always comforted my self with food.
Boiled Chicken is not realy a comfort more like jail. We have cancled my husbands 30th B-day party I have to go see the GI doc for the fist time the day before. I am realy just messing everthing up. I had a cry jag yesterday and ended up with bad headache. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I have also started shaking alot never did that before. I feel like this goin got take over the rest of my life. My family dosen't deserve this.
Sorry this truned out so long. Hope everyone is doing well today.
Thanks
Heather7476
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Heather7476
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Heather,
I know how depressing and frustrating living with a chronic problem like IBS can be. Im recently diagnosed with IBS and have been on the diet for 3 weeks--but I have had IBS much longer. I also have migraines which have left me laying in bed while my husband and four kids fend for themselves. I think the worst is when I can hear them all laughing from the other room--I just start feeling sorry for myself. It is true that when someone in a family has a medical condition, it does effect the whole family--my youngest is five and the first week I was trying the diet he got up in the middle of the night crying becasue he wanted me to eat the same as he does. I think food is just a symbol of get togethers and celebrations but it really isnt about the food--its about the people and you havent lost that part. I have realized that eventhough IBS is a lifelong condition--it can be managed and each of us can have the best quality of life we can with our families--I also try to take advantage of the "good days".
Unfortunately I dont have any answers, just know that I and lots of others have been where you are. Take the time to take care of yourself. maybe be adventurous and try some of the recipes in Heather's books or on this site--the few I have treid so far have been great (everyone in my family loved the apple spice bread--they didnt even know it had soymilk in it).
Stick with this diet--Im starting to have more good days then not and Im getting used to what is ok for me to have and what will hurt me (and my family) in the long run.
Take care
Missy
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Re: Depressed
#99898 - 08/21/04 07:34 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I know how you feel... but please believe me when I say that it does get better. Two months ago, I was laying in bed most of the time, crying, because I felt so horrible, physically and mentally, because of this stupid disorder. I still have bad days - like yesterday, when I saw myself in the mirror and burst out crying because I'm so thin (almost 60lbs gone since January), and my boyfriend had to comfort me the rest of the day - but you know what? You stick to the diet, you *gradually* get a little more adventurous with the food, you stop feeling deprived... and then you end up, slowly but surely, feeling better both physically AND mentally. It will happen.  Please hang in there!
As a friendly word of advice, grilled chicken is LIGHT YEARS tastier than boiled, and it's just as safe for you. I take chicken breasts and partially freeze them, then throw them on my Foreman grill with nothing more than salt and pepper. They come out crisply grilled on the outside, incredibly juicy on the inside. You won't feel nearly as deprived and *blah* about eating as when you're eating it boiled - just remember to have your pasta, rice, or bread with it.
Anyway, I just wanted to suggest that, and let you know that you're not alone... I think most of us, at some point in dealing with this IBS thing, have felt as hopeless as you do right now. But there is hope. You will feel better again, if you hang in there.
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Thank you I am trying so hard to be strong and end up feeling weak. I think I am going to talk to my Doctor about getting some Anti Depressants. I am sure I will come back to this post and read it again and again for the support.
If you don't mind me asking how do you explain this to your kids? Every day my Daughter asks me mommy do you feel better today? Then last night she told my husband I didn't like her anymore because i won't play with her anymore. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
Thanks so much
Heather7476
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Heather7476
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Thank you so much for your support no one seems to understand unless they have this. No one under stands why I am so upset they think I will go to the doctor get some pills and be better. No matter how many times I try to explain IBS to them. I can not even begin to express my gratefullness to everyone on these boards for thier help and support. I think I may go out and get a George foreman grill. I can't grill on a real grill to save my life 
Thanks again
Heather7476
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Heather7476
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Re: Depressed
#99924 - 08/21/04 08:21 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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It's too bad we don't live closer... I ended up with 2 identical Foremans, I'd gladly give you one if it didn't involve shipping the thing! But fortunately, they're not that expensive, and it's been worth every penny to me.
I can probably give you a bunch more ideas for really safe food, if you like, just to alleviate the boredom a little bit. I can email you, if that's ok.
And you're right - it's very hard for people to understand, if they haven't been through it themselves. I still have a lot of people in my life who think it's a matter of taking a pill and reducing stress - if only it were really THAT easy, right? Anyway, these boards are invaluable... lean on us when you need to.
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Please feel free to email me. I am sitting here right now trying to decided what to eat for luch other than chicken noodle soup. I have been getting 6 inch turkey sub with only light Itlain dressing I add when iget it home. I have done that twice and seemed ok but don't feel like draging myself and my daughter out to get a sub. 
Thanks
Heather
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Heather7476
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Heather,
as far as explaining this to my kids I just started by telling them "remember how mommy's tummy hurts alot" which of course they do. I then explained that different foods make my tummy hurt worse and some foods make my tummy feel better and that Im trying to eat only foods that make my tummy feel better. Eventhough its hard I also try to "hide" my discouragement about not eating my favorite foods anymore becasue I do not want my children to feel like they are doing something wrong by eating ice cream or whatever treat they have. It isn't easy and Im not sure how much my youngest understands but they all know that Mom can't eat all of the things that they do. I also explained it by saying I have to eat very healthy--(Which I try to keep them eating healthy. we have had lots of talks in the past about candy and other "junk" foods so I relate it to that as well.). How old is your daughter? Try to reassure her that you love her, if you feel up to it maybe try a quiet activity such as reading a short book or playing a quiet game (my kids like cards and I find if I sit with a heating pad, I can do that--reading is a little harder if my stomach is really hurting. You might also try having your husband talk to your daughter--have them come up with ways they could help you feel better--making a cup of peppermint tea or even drawing you a picture. My five year old knows one of his special hugs "helps" when I have a migraine.
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My daughter is three years old. I bought a memory card game and we have been playing that alot. I read to her alot at night before bed. She is used to going to the park,swimming in the back yard (kiddie pool), shopping. things like that. She starts pre school on Tuesday. She goes Tue & Thru for three hours. Then she takes an art class on wed for two hours. I have to stay for the art class and sit in the parents room not sure how i am going to manage that but I will. So I hope that will help with some of her energy. Thanks so much
Thank you
Heather7476
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Heather7476
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Re: Depressed
#99954 - 08/21/04 09:35 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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Oh poor you! It's gets so much better, I promise you. I went into depression after being diagnosed and I've been on SSRIs for a while now. They're a lifesaver. IBS seems to go with messed up serotonin levels, which doesn't help! Talk to your doctor about getting some meds. It's just not worth feeling miserable AND they can help the IBS as well! 
Have you got Heather's "EAting with IBS" book? It's got some great stuff, although some is a bit OTT for everyday! My hubbie's and my favourite from that book is the Butternut Squash Linguine, which is sooooo safe. Comfort food for the tummy. And it's just scrummy. Have you trawled through the Recipe Index as well? There are some great things there. Unless you have a real problem with cocoa (chocolate's different - it's high fat too), then I would REALLY recommend the Anti-Depressant Brownies. These are heaven after not being able to eat anything for ages and they're really easy. And even my old picky housemates loved them. Why not make them with your daughter? Bet she'd love licking the bowl afterwards! 
Good luck! And keep right on talking. We're all here for you and so many of us on the boards have suffered from depression that there's a LOT of expertise!
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