update - i'm back!
#9012 - 05/13/03 10:53 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
hey everyone... i haven't posted in a while... guess i just haven't had much to post and not much time or energy to reply to people... seems like there's so much to read on here!
ruchie - thanks for the little note in your post. it inspired me to write this update
1. still feeling sick pretty often... last night was the worst C attack i've had in a long time... possibly ever.
2. life is okay in general despite
3. start counseling next week... i'll let you all know how that goes.
4. anti-depressants haven't given me any side effects that i've noticed. yay!!! they should be kicking in soon... it's been about 2 weeks
5. going to a chiropractor, hopefully that will improve my health overall.
6. my boyfriend said he loved me for the first time 2 weeks ago... so i'm still kind of flying high about that ;-)
7. working hard on getting back into school. it's still really hard to convince myself to get out of bed in the morning, though. out the door is my second obstacle.
8. thinking about getting a job... someone called me up and asked me to apply the other day at a beauty supply store. maybe it will help me get more motivation if i feel like i'm accomplishing something
so yeah that's what's going on with me.
hope you all are doing great. i love you guys. you're all wonderful people.
beth
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Beth, it's great to hear from you  .
I'm sorry things still aren't too good health-wise, but you sound like your boyfriend is being very loving and supportive. Keep trying, things have GOT to get better at some point (positive thinking- the best kind!!)
Take care and big hugs! 
Sarah
--------------------
Sarah
Looking for inspiration...
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Beth,
I am so glad you updated us! I know times can be kindof tough (health wise) but it means the world to have lots of support! Right now Im in the middle of testings, and could be going for a colonoscopy pretty soon. Anyway, I hope your counceling goes well. Let us know how that comes along....
--------------------
-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
--------------------
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
--------------------
-h2
"Soluble fiber not included."
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
woke up at 7:30 (normalish time) with lots of cramps and proceeded to the bathroom for 1/2 an hour at least... not sure exactly how long. i hate those morning attacks. they're the worst.
anyway, that knocked me out the rest of the day, although i had originally planned on going to school. and so of course when i finally was awake and feeling good enough to go, it was the end of the school day.
so i felt bad and guilty for missing again, which put me in a bad mood. BAD CYCLE!!! UGH!
i went on a drive and went grocery shopping.
i just feel horrible about myself. i feel out of control. i don't understand why i act the way i do. i want to go to school, but i don't. and my first counseling appointment got rescheduled for a week later (the 27th now), so it'll be even LONGER before i have help with this.
my poor boyfriend can't understand and i feel so bad unloading on him all the time.
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
frustrated and sad,
beth
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Beth,
I feel your pain! I too am going through so much right now. I am constantly getting attacks despite my meds, I am in an constant battle to keep my weight up and I dont get to see my doc till may 29th!! Despite all the bad things, though, I still beleive that things will get better, i mean the rain cant last forever, right? I really hope that everything will get better....I think they will 
--------------------
-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Aww, sweetie. Don't feel bad. I know you're frustrated. I understand about wanting to go somewhere but then not going. Could be lots of reasons. Could be the IBS, could be your mood, and remember you're still adjusting to andi-depressants. Remember they can take up to 12 weeks to fully work so don't expect a "pouf" it's suddenly working feeling. It's a gradual thing.
Staying home was what you needed to do today so don't feel guilty. It's so hard feeling out of control. Do your best to relax and take care of yourself.
If you have any questions, please post, or feel free to e-mail me (my e-mail is in my info). I've gone through depression as well as the OCD. I'm always here to listen. Sometimes it helps just knowing that you're not alone - and that other people have gotten through this and so will you.
It's hard when your body is dictating your life. IBS does that and so does depression. They're both medical conditions and you did not choose to have them. Don't blame yourself.
Take care, and bask in your boyfriend's LOVE!!!!
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
you guys are awesome. :-)
still hangin' on here...
beth
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey there,
Hope you are feeling ok when you read this. Remember not to put too many expectations on yourself. You couldn't help it that you couldn't make it to school - it was beyond your control, so try not to beat yourself up over it. You know your intentions were good - and keep that in mind.
Hang in there. Depression is a toughie, but you've got many here who support you and care about you.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Dear Beth,
Hope this encourages you: just remember that some things are out of your control, like the IBS attacks, so try not to spend too much of your valuable "healthy" time thinking about them. Some things ARE in your control - do what you can, little by little, and celebrate the victories! Take small steps, remembering that your health is compromised just as if you had a more "recognizable" illness. Don't give up your dreams - they're not out of reach. The timing may just be off right now. I've had to put many things on the back burner (and I'm 50+ !!) and just concentrate on today. My greatest help has been from God and my friends. In my darkest time, I asked a friend at church to call me every morning - just to have a human voice to connect with and to pray for me. Hearing my name lifted up to God was so encouraging. She called me faithfully each day, and others started calling, too! My days were pretty unproductive, but at that time, just getting up each day was a victory. Then, when I was better, I wanted to make up for lost time - and bit off more than I could chew (no pun intended!). So, I'm learning to take each day as it comes, and ask God for His help each day to do what needs to be done. Right now, by following Heather's diet, and with God's grace, I've been able to get through a horrendous training program (missed only half a day due to IBS) and have started the second phase of my probationary period at new employer (temp to hire). And, I'm going to have a hysterectomy soon - something I can't control. And, even though the employer said at the beginning that we couldn't miss more than 3 days in the first 90 days, they've made an exception for me. So, there's hope even when we think there's no way anyone would hire us or we could even hold the job! I'll pray for your tummy attacks to lessen and go away so that you can go to school, and so that you can work if that's what you need to do. May God bless you and make a way for you!
Blessings,
Kaybee C
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
