STRESS .......NEED TO VENT!!!!!!
#82619 - 06/24/04 03:45 AM
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Ive been under ALOT of stress, and i think the food was the "icing on the cake" Ive been dealing with building a house, that sooo many things have gone wrong, Ive been ready to pull out my hair and I have a 14 year old that thinks he's in love and knows it all...well he doesn't!!!!!!!! he had sex and I thought we were already watching them like hawks....Of course he hasn't seen her since and we were going to actually let him see her only if they stayed in the room with one of us at all times, which may be stupid to some of you, but i got married at 16 and I KNOW for a fact you can be in love seriously at that age, but its another thing for it to last forever, i guess I am lucky to have found my soul mate at that age...but it's rare.... I just want him to finish school, which he says he will...he is sooo smart...but her parents won't let him see her til she's 16 which Im ok with, actually if you want to know the truth I would rather it be that way. but she keeps feeding him this stuff about they are going to let you come over this weekend and then nothing, my husband talked to her Dad and he said not til she is 16, well Brock thinks we just made up what her dad said, and that they are going to let him come over...she is feeding him lies so he won't break up with her, and he can only chat on the phone and we thought we were going to be moved already so our phone was disconected to early and we decided to just use our cells, now Brock is upset about that...he cant talk to her til after 7pm when we have free minutes, he's grouchy and irritable...and wants to argue with everything.. stress.... stress....stress can you tell Im stressed..that;s my life right now
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Gretchen
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UGH!
#82627 - 06/24/04 04:28 AM
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jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
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well, i agree with you- love is certainly possible at that age. and that's scary!
i don't really have any suggestions for you but just wanted to let you know i am here if you need to vent more. 
good luck.
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Hi,
Sorry you are under so much stress. Believe me, I understand the teenage boy thing. My boys are both grown now but at about 15 one of them had this relationship (don't know if sex was involved) with this girl that was just playing him like a fiddle. She was even seeing his best friend on the side. Anyway, he was sooooo in love that he couldn't see straight. Didn't care about school so I had to push him through that and was moody and then depressed when he finally saw her for what she was and they broke up. Here is a big 6' tall boy sitting in a chair crying his eyes out. It just broke my heart but I just tried to comfort him the best I could. Anyway he eventually got over it and turned out to be very successful. The teenage years are the worst.
Good luck and remember eventually things do get better.
Barbie
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Sex at 14!!!  Call me an "old foggy", but it still suprises me that kids think it is okay to have sex during teen years.
I really feel for you and it is great you are still married to the same man - doesn't happen often. It is also great you really care about your son's best interest.
I suggest you do what what my mom did. She scared me into not having sex before marriage. My mom got pregnant at 16 in 1963 and drilled in me her regrets about not finishing school, responability of a baby, marry a man she didn't love,etc. She is stuck in a life of misery and I never wanted that.
The other thing you can do for your son is take him to a conference about the dangers of teenage sex. I attended one of those in high school and made me really think about how dangerous it can be. It is a fact HIV is on the rise among teens as well as STD.
The other thing to think about is condems are not as safe as the government wants you to believe. Girls do get pregnant using condems and a woman has a small margin of time to get pregnant every month. Lets say a woman is fertile only two days during her cycle and during the rest of her cycle she has a 15% chance of contracting HIV or STD. If a girl has a disease she can give it to your son. All is it takes is one hole in a condem to get a disease.
I hope I don't come across as sounding weird, but it is my passion to see more teens abstain from sex and wait until marriage.
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Yesterday I went to the mailbox and was shocked to see a letter addressed to my 18-year-old son from an attorney! I knew what this meant because he has been involved in 2 car accidents---neither one his fault--- and in those cases, the lawyers started sending out solicitations soon afterwards.
As it turns out, our son had gotten a speeding ticket Friday night---and was not even planning on telling us. He thought he could just "take care of it" and we'd never know.
So now, his car keys have been taken away from him, he's grounded, and he will have to pay for the ticket and any increase in insurance.
And, I get to "babysit" a very miserable teenager! I think I'm gonna strangle him before he goes off to college this fall. Those of you who are contemplating having a baby want to reconsider???
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My son had gotten several speeding tickets (he's grown now) and you can take defensive driving or ask for deferred adjudication (probation) sometimes to dismiss a ticket. If they get too many tickets the insurance goes through the roof. Remind him that he always needs to take care of his tickets or they could put out an arrest warrant for him. Whew....raising kids is hard.
Barbie
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My sympathies  . My baby (he is 18) is getting ready to leave the nest tomorrow. He is starting at a technical college next week, just graduated (barely) from high school last week. I've always told my husband that teenage boys are moodier than a woman with PMS. My son always blames me for everything. He saw a therapist a couple of times & told him that of all the fights in the household, I was the cause of 99% of them  I couldn't believe it. He told me this a couple a years down the road. By the way there are not that many fights in the household:). Ya gotta love em:). I wish you lots and lots of positive thoughts and hugs.
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Daisy
"Sometimes you are the Windshield, sometimes you are the bug".
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I commend you! My mother-in-law let her 18 year old daughter have a sleepover - the night of our wedding - in the backyard (we had an outdoor wedding and reception). Said 18 year old decided to raid Mom's liquor cabinet and got herself and the groomsmen drunk (we didn't serve hard alcohol). Needless to say the reception ended badly with vomit and reeling people everywhere.
So, I asked my MIL about it...and was told that she (18 year old) was just "feeling her oats", and "that's what kids do".
Excuse me? I'd be missing teeth if I EVER acted like that, especially at someone's wedding. Still haven't gotten any kind of an apology, and yes I'm still steaming about it (okay, so it happened 7/12/03 - but I take a while to get past stuff, lol).
So....while I don't have teenagers, my heart goes out to those of you that do!!!
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I have 2 boys. One is 23 and the other is 20, wondered if I'd live thru it.. Teenagers are something. My boys cried too when their relationships broke up. Boys can be very tender hearted ,too.. With the teenage girlfriends , it's drama, drama, and drama.. My husband called high school " As the turd turns" HA! Lots of soap opera..
hope things get better for you. Just try to keep the lines of communication open. If they'll talk to you, it's some what better.
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-----Marilyn-----
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Gretchen, are you living my life????? My son was 18, his girlfriend was 15, she did get pregnant. We tried everything we could think of and everyone else could think of, to keep it from happening and it still happened. I agree with you, he is toooooo young, all of them are too young. It didnt' matter what we did, if they want to get together for sex, they are going to find a way. 
I feel for you, the phone thing, been there. The thing with her parents, been there.....we have a beautiful 8yr old grandson we wouldn't change that for a thing, they had another little boy together, after 2 mo., she abandoned them. Pays no child support........this post is not about me.
Hang on girl, do all you have to do. Maybe keeping him as busy as possible would be a big help. Don't forget to take care of YOU!! That is a very important thing....  gayla
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