Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Extreme emotions, dealing with the evil MOTHER IN LAW., Prime example of the effects of stress on IBS.-long post.-

Today has been very difficult for me, I thought dealing with my mil's self absorbed,selfish, mean spirited, cruel,sarcastic attitude days were gone. I thought I had moved on far away from them (married to her baby boy for 29 years). This is a gut wrenching story, I dont have the emotional strength to write it all down. To shorten the story, my father in law has had kidney removal (cancer), he had a difficult time, we almost lost him the first night. We have been so worried about his recovery, praying and praying that he would pull through and come back home soon. He is doing better, he has 3-4 more days. My mil, has two cats in her home that never use the litter box. They are both chain smokers, never to open a window for ventilation. This at one time was a beautiful home, everything in it is ruined, carpet, upholstery, window treatments, bedspreads, sheets, clothes, you name it , have all been ruined by the cigarettes. and the cats, they are both old animals, I feel sorry for them living in their own misery. My husband has been staying in Houston with his dad at night, she has been the most difficult woman that I have ever known. She is so selfish, she only wants him to come home from the hospital so he can take care of her. She has blatantly stated the fact that this exactly what she wants to happen. You can forget about her accepting any help from her family, she is a fortunate woman. Two sons, two daughter in laws, two gransons and thier wives, grandaughter.... we have all let it be known that if she needs any thing to call us. She will not let any of us help her, she has not bathed 6 days, she has no intention of bathing. She will not eat, I have cooked food for her that she likes to eat,and can easily tolerate. She wont eat any of it, on purpose. No bath no food, all to spite us, she thinks we are trying to boss her around and not let her think for herself. Couldnt be further from the truth, women need to maintain good personal hygeine, she needs to eat to keep up her strength to stay healthy. Every day in every way is a huge fight with her. A fight because she loves friction and discord,it gets attention. A grown woman 79, (her mind is clear as a bell, she is fully aware of every word and action), acts worse than any child or person I have ever known.
Tonight, she threw a huge fit,my husband wanted to have the carpet and upholstery cleaned before his dad came home from the hospital. I cannot even tell you the horrifying fit she threw, "we are trying to ruin her life, taking everything away from her, she has no independance left because of us", little does she know that she is going to have a woman(in home health care) 4 hours every day, for a little food prep, bathes and personal hygeine, beauty shop and doctor appointments...that sounds pretty darn good to me, I think if it were me, I would be pleased my family cared enough to take the time to help me out.
This little story has nothing to do with her loosing her independance, it has everything to do with her getting a life back, being able to go places and do things.
My sons both grown, took time out of their evening to help move things off of the carpet that could be damanged from the steam. It was a horrible scene, I begged my guys to leave, that I would stay and finish. The vile, hateful things that were coming out of her mouth, to me are unforgiveable. I have dealt with her and her fits for all of these years, and I have been in the middle of the last one. I left her house completely hysterical, I have tried and tried for years to overlook her ways. But after tonight, this is the last straw, my health cannot and will not be subjected to this ever again. I will not have her in my home again!! In the morning I am going over to greet the carpet cleaners, I will sit and stay in the house until they leave. I have been accused of stealing her silver place settings after the last carpet cleaning. She had them hidden under a bed, I was there when she found them, never forget that every where she went she told people that I had stolen her things. Not one thing was missing out of her home. Not one apology after being treated so terribly. Anyway, I will stay in the house, pay the men. Come back home, and I will never step foot in her home again. The behavior of this woman, has caused me to have too many health problems. I am going to have cramps, extreme stomach pain, total constipation for a while now. As soon as I can get myself calmed down, I am going to bed, hopefully to sleep. I have been working so hard to get my body and state of mind in a healthy place. I refuse to take a step backward, that is why at this time, I have to remove the thing that is causeing me to suffer so. She is now on her own.
For those of you who think I may be reacting too harshly to her because of her age, she has a mind as clear as the night sky. I was not raised, nor did I raise my children to live in a home of constant strife and chaos. I will not have it in my home.
I called my husband, David tonight, he is so upset and apologetic. He said he should have never left me alone to deal with that woman, he said he should be her to take care of it. I love him so, how can such a great man, come from a mother like that?
Right now, my heart is broken, but I will perservere, in the morning it will be a different story. I love my husband, and I will do anything for him. But when my health is at risk, he stands beside me.
This is a prime example of how sress can give IBS a port into your body. I refuse to be its victim. I will not give up, and I think that is why I have been feeling pretty good lately. Up until tonight, hello headache, nausea, and cramps. I am going to bed, if anyone has suffered through this type of problem, I need to talk. I have come to think so much of all of you here on the boards, I hurt when you hurt, I cry when you cry, and I pray for you when your body is in such pain. I love you all, take care of yourselves.

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