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Your post is so true~ I have written similar comments over the years - almost the same things.
I have had IBS since 1983 - and I have heard it all - part of the time I would 'grin and take it" and another part of the time I would miss out on so much of life. My IBS started just after I had my first child, and no one understood the pain I was in, and I was considered an inconvenience when I made everyone late, or had to cancel.
Sometimes I lied about my condition; other times I told people, and like you, it was dismissed as nothing serious - and of course, it isnt "serious" like cancer where you can die from it, but my gastro once told me he could treat or at least reduce his cancer patients' pain better than his IBS patients pain.
Part of us feels guilty for having a condition that isnt serious, but at the same time feeling just as ill - and because IBS isnt classed as fatal, we do not get the understanding and compassion another person would with a different illness - and while we understand that, it doesnt make our suffering any easier - it just makes it worse, because we dont get that understanding.
Over the years, I have written similar articles about this very thing - putting on the brave face just adds to the stress of the condition - keeping yourself rigid and hidden in pain - believe me, I know, I have been there.
And I have heard all the comments too - you just have IBS to get attention; you should eat this or that (I no longer am on any IBS diet), you are bringing it on yourself, and more. But at one point, it was just too tiring to keep up the facade, so I began telling people, I didnt care about the embarrassment, and I just wanted to let people know why I couldnt keep up, etc. If they did not understand, or they were not compassionate, it was their problem - but I did discover something out of sharing - many times the person I was telling either knew someone who had IBS - or they had it! (Not so much people close to me, but others.)
And to add to the humiliation - all the movies that make a joke out of IBS - yes, sometimes I will giggle along with everyone else, but a part of me twinges in complete understanding, while everyone is laughing... (think, Sandra Bullock being carried off by Hugh Grant to the van in the traffic jam after she eats Mexican in Two Weeks Notice, Dumb and Dumber, Ben Stiller having IBS in that movie with Jennifer Aniston - forgot the name of the movie -oh yeah, Along Came Polly - everyone laughs at bathroom trouble - especially when it only happens 'now and then' - they cant imagine living with it on a daily basis.
If you every want to explain IBS to people who just dont get it, there is a great recording available that does just that - takes the burden off of you, and I have even heard that with one fellow who could not make a family wedding far away, had the whole family mad at him, so he gave them copies of the recording and every single family member apologized for giving him grief.
Dont worry - you are not alone... sometimes it is good to vent!! 
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My Journey and Success with the IBS Audio Program Hypnotherapy Program: www.helpforibs.com/messageboards/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=hypnotherapy&Number=224850
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it's so frustrating to read your message or anyone else who says that they are no longer on any diet and hence I assume are eating normally.
I can wholly relate to anger, frustration and shame stemming from our condition, and it is true that no matter what we do, we'll never lead a normal life. but I too used to dismiss that diet played a role. but then i stuck with it and found that it makes a world of difference. I am convinced that I have mild depression and OCD and I have insomnia. I wouldn't deny that my personality and the fact that I'm neurotic explains why I have IBS. But I do believe that one must look at what's happening in Libya/Ivory Coast/ someone who has cancer and is going to die within 6 months and put things into perspective. I know that doesn't really help when one is doubled up in pain and doesn't care whether dies now or not... and it's easy for me to now speak because if I eat right, I don't have D or C or pain, (only bloating and the frustration and the shame). but please once again try dieting but the following (really limited but incredibly helpful) one. it may just work for you too.
'Heather's rules are very (too) permissive for a lot of sufferers, perhaps you'd like to combine its essence, ie no alcohol/caffeine, no dairy, fat content of meals restricted to 20-25 per cent of calories per meal, IF very limited and only with SF AND AND AND AND the FODMAP approach simultaneously, for which pls see Syl's signature.
I am following this diet, Syl is too, his is in fact even more limited. it's true that you can't lead a normal life that you can't really go and feast at dinner parties and you practically can't eat out, but with a diet like that your symptoms too may wholly improve in the long term or at least be drastically reduced. '
also I recently analysed my diet and now am taking B vitamins, zinc, iron and calcium-vitD supplements. My general stress and madness symptoms as it were, have improved dramatically.
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Susie, born in 1985,
(pseudo-)D and bloating April 2007-December 2010, now stable
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Quote: "it's so frustrating to read your message or anyone else who says that they are no longer on any diet and hence I assume are eating normally."
Yes, I am eating normally, because I dont need a specific diet as my IBS has been addressed after using the IBS Audio Program back in 2000. In MY case, (and in the case of many others who have used this program) it was not about the specific foods or a restricting diet. Some people are tremendously helped by various IBS and similar diets, as you have been, others, via other methods. IBS is not a one-treatment-suits-all. I am happy for you and Syl that you have found your way to feeling better - some folks will try what you suggest, others will not, it is great you put the info out there, but I believe the writer of this thread was not asking for solutions, but for commiserating...
We all have to find our own way, and it is great to share what works for us, and we are glad you have been dramatically helped - I searched for my way since 1983, found it in 2000, so I understand wanting to share it, and I guess I just did so now as well, but I wanted to clarify your thoughts on my diet comments. I CAN eat out at dinner parties now, and lead a normal life without following a restrictive diet - so this is one way - and there is hope of another option for those who do not respond to diets and food restrictions and modifications. Again - everyone has to find their own way.
Be well.
OK - sorry for the topic detour...
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My Journey and Success with the IBS Audio Program Hypnotherapy Program: www.helpforibs.com/messageboards/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=hypnotherapy&Number=224850
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Hi Marilyn. Wow, do I understand what you are saying. I used to dissect every morsel I put in my mouth, and guess what...I still suffered. I could not tell you what food I ate Monday that caused grief on Thursday.
So, at one point, I thought what the heck, enough is enough. Diet control is not working, and I have always had a healthy diet. So, I decided to move in a different direction. Along with meditation and the hypnosis cds, I can honestly say, I no longer suffer. I eat a vegetarian diet, moving towards a vegan diet, and have never felt better in my life.
It took a good amount of time for me to get to this point. It sure wasn't overnight. But, I am glad I put in the time and effort, and I am equally glad that I never used any drugs, except the occasional Immodium.
To the poster who initially started this thread, let me say, I do understand. When you are feeling bad you sure don't need lectures or pep talks or more diet information, (when you have tried everything under the sun besides starvation). All you really want is someone to say to you, "I understand how you feel." Period, end of story.
And let me add I too CAN eat out and eat at friend's. etc., with no problems whatsoever.
Thanks for being here, Marilyn! You bring hope and positivity to everyone, and allow that not every path is for every person.
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Thanks for commenting Marilyn, and I appreciate that you made the cancer comment, because I often say AND WITH EVERY OUNCE OF DUE RESPECT to anyone who has battled cancer, that I wish I had a disease that at least had a name, and that people just respected. I have seen several friends be diagnosed, treated, and cured of cancer in the years I have suffered. And in those particular cases (AGAIN ALL RESPECT TO THOSE WHO SUFFER AT CANCER'S HANDS)- none of them suffered the quality of life devastation that I have. I would've switched places in a heartbeat. honestly, even death doesn't always seem like the worst option. But slow torture every day? Thanks again for sharing- means a lot!
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I was just looking for commiserating... and it made me feel better!!
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oh ok, sorry I completely misunderstood, I thought what you described in your post was referring to how you are now.
so from what I understand hypno has worked for you then and now you can function like a normal human being. that is delightful and you are actually a lot better off than I am, as the diet managed thing does have hundreds of downsides whereas you are basically cured now.
good for you and as for taroh73, who seems to be suffering NOW, I can sympathise and commiserate and say 'you are not alone' but I used to think exactly like this and dismissed the dieting, but especially since the FODMAP approach is a relatively new one I think, I doubt a lot of people have followed it for a length of time for them to be able to say that no special diet for them could work.
it's extremely limited, it's not like Heather's diet if you combine the two and taroh73 or you back in the day may not have tried it for something like 2 months so how do you know that no diet could ever work for some people with IBS? it is difficult to follow, you have to cook for yourself, and following it for one week may not bring immediate relief, but for those for whom meditation, hypnosis or anything else does not work like taroh73 appears to be, i still think it's definitely worth a shot as it really may just work in the long term and all that scourge that goes with IBS may just be magically alleviated...
but it's a good thing that you did the hypno and you are now fine and can eat normally, much better than having to stick with a diet that has 25 ingredients so really happy for you.
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Susie, born in 1985,
(pseudo-)D and bloating April 2007-December 2010, now stable
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taroh73
#364166 - 04/07/11 03:18 PM
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Gerikat
Reged: 06/21/09
Posts: 1285
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I think most in the thread understood what you needed. I do hope that you feel better soon. All you needed was a little TLC.
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Not to belabor the point.. but it occurred to me that I am such an easy to please person because when you live this way, the smallest things mean so much. yet, we appear to be difficult impossible people becasue we have to say "no" and "i can't" so often.
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I felt the exact same way as taroh73 and dismissed the role diet played for years, saying how for me it makes no difference. but there is a scientific background to all this and the EFI diet is quite lenient from this regard, hence of course it doesn't work for all sufferers. I doubt taroh73 ever tried the diet I recommended and I only wanted to offer pragmatic help because I more than anyone else CAN sympathise and do understand believe it or not, I was in exactly the same boat, felt exactly the same way, even about the way she/he talked about cancer. I felt the same sense of gratitude when people sympathised, but that did nothing to help in a practical way. what did help is that Syl got me to try the very restricted diet I advocated. and lo and behold that did help. syl was never as vehement as I am now, I don't even know why I am doing this when taroh73 and others have repeatedly thrown it in my face that practical guide is not needed COS DIET DOES NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE. I doubt she/he ever tried the one I suggested and fine, I was only trying to help and provide real relief, not just sympathy. if taroh73 you change your mind, follow my guidelines and for a specific diet feel free to email me on safo1611@gmail.com otherwise good luck and sincerely hope you feel better soon. I went through the same and felt the same I know how you feel and I know that it's godawful.
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Susie, born in 1985,
(pseudo-)D and bloating April 2007-December 2010, now stable
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