Anyone take drastic steps in their homes?
#341724 - 02/05/09 11:03 PM
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SLiCKsGiRL
Reged: 06/20/04
Posts: 428
Loc: Western Washington
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Hey there,
As posted over on the living room board, I'm an oldie who's been AWOL for a very, very long time. The short story on me is that I have severe depression and un-managed IBS-A, primarily because of the depression. I've got a great psych now who's helping with the first issue, so now I want to get started on the second.
I know all the ins and outs of the diet/lifestyle, but lack follow-through. I seriously can't stay on the diet for more than, oh, half a day. It's bad.
So my questions is, has anyone here taken any drastic steps in their household to keep from going off-diet? By drastic steps I mean, have you forbidden trigger foods from non-IBS members of your family? Or forced your family to eat the same safe meals you do? If so, how has that gone over?
My husband buys frozen pizza and chocolate ice cream, and I especially can't ignore the nummy ice cream ...
Any advice would be great. Or if you've got any great motivational tips, I'd love to hear those too! Thanks in advance!
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~*Amber*~
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I do most of the cooking in the household. However, it is unfair to restrict the foods that family members without GI problems bring into the house. And it doesn't foster a good relationship. My wife is free to eat anything she wishes and she does so everyday. I envy her freedom to eat what she wants too and I encourage her to do so. I must say I enjoy the smells of some of foods she prepares which are definitely on my do not eat list 
My greatest motivation for sticking with the diet is the reduction in discomfort and pain I experience. I cannot think of a greater motivator.
Good luck
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STABLE: ♂, IBS-D 50+ years - Science of IBS
The FODMAP Approach to Managing IBS Symptoms
Evidence-based Dietary Management of Functional GI Symptoms: The FODMAP Approach
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The Role of Food & Dietary Intervention in IBS
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Actually since I do all the cooking...I do limit what everyone else gets to eat.I will cook them chicken or fish or whatever meat but I would opt for a chicken breast instead.I found that eating the efi diet wasn't really that hard.I always munch on pretzels or fresh white bread so I am never really hungry and the cravings for no no foods are a lot less diminished.
Don't think of it as a diet per say...just make a plan of what you are going to eat instead of wandering around looking for munchies.I eat when I am bored so I make sure I have a lot of pretzels around or something else that is totally safe.
I did the hypno cds too and have found that I can eat almost anything I want to.I still have to avoid high fat foods and can no longer eat peanut butter  but even still I try to keep a SF base in my tummy and try not to lean too far from the EFI.It has freed me up though to enjoy food once again.You should try them.
Good luck to you.
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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No drastic steps here - although.... maybe it would help the DH's waistline - LOL!
Anyways. I made a decision long ago that it was far more beneficial for me to ignore the bad food and eat the safe food. I was too sick for far too long! Considering in high school, before I was diagnosed, all I was eating was crackers and lettuce because everything bothered my tum, I got to the point of almost a phobia of any food. So once I knew what to avoid - red meat, pork, dairy - I started reincorporating foods. If I found something that was a trigger, I cut that out again. I cook for the DH - pizza, steak, pork, whatever else. There is always ice cream in the freezer, Doritos in the cupboard, etc. I just avoid them. I found substitute snacks that are safe for me - baked or fat free Lays chips, sorbet that is dairy free, pretzels, licorice, etc. The meat thing doesn't bother me - I didn't eat a lot of it when I could eat it.
It's all up to you what you do. But starving your family of foods they like you won't be in their good graces long!! It's time for you to make a conscious decision - the food and the pain and the attacks, or you, safe food, a healthy lifestyle and the road to stability.
I wish you all the best in your decision. It's not an easy one to make.
Oh - one more thing. I eat most of the time a different time than the DH - him first, me first, whatever, unless he's having what I eat. I find this way I'm not tempted as much either. Granted it is only the two of us, no kids to sit down to dinner with. But it is another option.
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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I don't get tempted with the trigger foods. Once in a great while I'll eat something bad and get immediate D and that makes it easy to avoid forbidden foods.
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IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!
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My husband can have whatever he wishes in the house, I don't take any measures to ban certain foods from my cupboard. He doesn't have GI problems so why shouldn't he enjoy whatever he wants? He's not a huge sweets eater and we try not to have chips and junk food around anyway so that's not really an issue. He does have a big jar of peanuts, however (trigger for me), tons of cheese and cream spreads...but like Syl said, my motivation is my health and the lack of pain.
It's not like I'm stuck in my house 24/7, there's always trigger food around me - work (lunches, someone bringing something in), good smelling treats sold by street vendors...I would have to ban trigger food from everywhere . I'm the one who's gotta be in charge and decide for myself what I can and cannot eat.
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IBS-C, bloating, cramps
pregnant
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You're very right Syl, it is unfair to restrict foods from family who don't have IBS. It's just me and hubby at home, and I know he'd do it if I asked, but why should he suffer? Especially since I don't cook for him.
My motivational problem, I guess, is that I've been in an IBS limbo for a long time - I'm mostly just having that pseudo-diarrhea every day and little/no pain. Not C or D, just mildly inconvenient, especially since I'm more or less house-bound from depression.
But I've got to get this under control! I've gained 50lbs in the last 7yrs, 35 or so in the last 6 months. I want to WANT to get better ... Thanks for your reply
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~*Amber*~
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Thanks Dragonfly! I should keep a bowl of pretzels or something around me all day - I'm definitely a grazer I find that I really crave something sweet (like ice cream) after eating salty - any ideas on a small safe candy I could eat in-between pretzels? 
I have the hypno CDs; I've made it through once and felt much better. I'm a good deal less worried about getting sick when I go out. I should make a plan to re-start the sessions again soon. Thanks again!
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~*Amber*~
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Toady, I think I had the opposite response to my high school experience. I starved myself for so long because I was afraid to get sick, that once I started staying at home more from depression and started having this weird pseudo-diarrhea, I said to myself "No more!" And started eating everything. It's like I got into this mindset that if I don't eat something when it's in front of me, I might never get to eat again. I have to find a way to break that!
Hubby is not much help - he means well, but he'll make pizza and then offer me a slice, or call to say that he's super hungry and getting fast food for dinner and ask what I'd like. How can I say no to his lovely voice?  Guess I'd better find a way to do that too! LoL
Thanks for your advice!
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~*Amber*~
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I want your will-power Minnie! If I have the choice between a choc chip cookie and a peppermint Luna bar, guess which one I'll choose? And the sad part is that I wouldn't enjoy the cookie, and I know it ...
<Sigh> Will-power is not something you either have or don't - it's something you can build! I will be better!
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~*Amber*~
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Zara, I'm not really stuck in my house 24/7, but I am, you know? I want to leave, but then when the time comes to go somewhere, I chicken-out. Not an IBS issue, and something I am working on elsewhere, but I am in my house a lot. And I'm bored, a LOT.
But you're right, I can't ban trigger foods everywhere, and I shouldn't ban my hubby from the stuff he likes. I have to be in control. If I can't learn to have will-power, then maybe I can at least shame myself into eating better by knowing that everyone here manages just fine!
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~*Amber*~
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I find that eating safe foods and avoiding unsafe ones has become a deeply ingrained habit over the years, it's really automatic for me - this could happen for you too. But I've got a major sweet tooth so it's really important for me to provide myself with something to satisfy my cravings - so i bake alot of cakes, rice pudding, etc. If you've got substitutes on hand you are obviously less likely to be tempted by the bad stuff! And remember the IBS recipes on the website are low-fat aswell.
(However, this doesn't mean I avoid the problems sadly. Where my self-discipline fails me is quantities - sometimes i just want to keep eating, and i can't or don't stop myself, and this will inevitably cause problems - it doesn't matter if the food is safe or not. So yeah, I have self-discipline issues too!)
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I see the point everyone is making here about not wanting to ban certain foods from everyone else's diet but ....the food s I personally have to avoid are junk foods and banning them from everyone is in their best interests.I have a son who tends to be on the chunky side so when I have apples or fruit to choose between or chips, which do you think hes going to pick? On the other hand I have another son that can eat whatever he wants and never gains an ounce.So in the best interest of my family and myself, I limit those "junk foods" to one night a week.I make homemade pizza and everyone chooses their own toppings and I eat it my way too.Then at snack time I munch on my safe snacks.
I think eating the EFI way is healthier than most people actually eat.
As far as your depression that keeps you housebound, I hear ya sister!!! I have also dealt with this but I found that once I got my IBS under control I felt better and could venture out.I spent most of an entire year never going more than half a block from home.Some days not even that. In order to combat that I started taking St Johns Wort.In a fairly short time the depression lifted.I didn't even notice it. In the past year things went way wrong and I ended up with surgery and major depression. I finally broke down and ask the doc for some pills.It was the best move I ever made.I only take them as needed which is thankfully not very often but if you need it to just get out of the house I highly recommend it.
You will find great advice here and it will be varied coming from so many different experiences so use what you can and hopefully it will all come together for you.
Good luck to you!
One thing I do snack on when I need a sweet(and I don't know if its safe )is candy canes. I even dip them in my tea HTH
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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I don't avoid the bad stuff altogether. I work in a grocery store and we have samples. I avoid the bacon every day but often eat the one/two bite samples of treats. I even had a two bite sample of cheesecake the other day. I only do it right after lunch or break when my stomach has safe food in it. If I eat a sample on the way to lunch it will hit my stomach differently.
I have a lot of problems with avoiding these when I have done GF weeks. I almost forget I can't have a monster cookie sample!
But since my husband is overweight he doesn't have the real good stuff in the house. I am not tempted at all by his cheese or milk but if he ever has ice cream sometimes I want a bite. He is good about cutting me off after a bite or two, knowing almost as much as me about my restrictions. Still, even with my past attacks causing more self-control, I try to never let my bigger temptations into the home!
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IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!
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I'm like this too. We definitely have triggers all over the house. My finance would kill me if I made him eliminate them. I find there are so many in life though (work breakfast, friends parties etc) that eliminating them from the house wouldn't eliminate them from life.
Anyway, I am awesome at not eating things I know will make me feel bad- regular chips, cake, cookies. Sure I miss them sometimes but like others have mentioned, it's just not worth it in the end. However, my problem is things like ice cream. I oddly enough, feel absolutely fine after ice cream. My hunch is that it's still bad for me even if I don't feel it but it's much harder to avoid ice cream for me because I don't feel immediate effects (or even an effect I can ever connect to ice cream). As for the other stuff though, I've just gotten used to it. Now if only I could figure out how to feel 100 percent since I'm not eating these foods
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I am training for a Sprint Triathlon- Check out my Blog!
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Deeply ingrained would be very good. I don't know why I keep eating these foods - even if they don't "aggravate" my IBS (i.e. cause an immediate attack), I still feel icky. Almost like that heavy, junky stuff just sits in my tummy forever, like a boulder.
I feel like I should have a nanny ... I keep telling my hubby that if we could afford it, I would hire someone to come take care of me - take the bad food out of my hand, cook yummy safe recipes, and help get me out of the house!
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~*Amber*~
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Yep, certain foods are best left out of the house entirely. I know my hubby would eat whatever I put in front of him as long as it tastes good and isn't too "weird." If I put together lunches for him, he wouldn't stop for fast food; if I made low-fat snacks, he'd be in heaven. But since he fends for himself, he sorta eats like a stereotypical bachelor. So I'll be helping both of us by getting on better terms with food.
Isn't it terrible to feel like you have to stay at home to be safe? And the more you stay in, the harder it gets to leave. I don't even like walking down to our mailbox most of the time. I'm now on my 5th AD, and I'm confident it's going to work this time. If it doesn't, I told my doc that I want electroconvulsive therapy She is concerned about the memory-loss side effect, especially since I am so young, but since I've had depression for 11yrs I'll most likely only lose the bad stuff, right?
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~*Amber*~
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My hubby used to be good about sharing only a bite or two of his ice cream - now he just gives in to my pleading eyes (or is it my nagging?) 
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~*Amber*~
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That's totally my problem! I just have this overall icky feeling most of the time, and pseudo-D, so I don't usually associate it with any one food. I'm starting to think that my new AD might be changing things though, and upsetting my tummy more. A little early to tell, but one way or another it should help me- either I'll be happier and more able to take care of myself, or I'll be too sick to eat the crappy food and will be forced to take care of myself!
I'll just keep telling myself: the glass is half-full!
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~*Amber*~
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