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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #321907 - 01/08/08 07:50 AM

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Hi Melinda,
Can I ask what restaurants you go to and what kinds of foods you order? Thank you!

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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #321912 - 01/08/08 08:06 AM
Pud

Reged: 06/20/07
Posts: 256
Loc: Long Island

I've had "stomach issues" since I am a toddler and I am now 23. I was diagnosed with IBS when I was about 14 and have had numerous other possibilities since. Right now I have IBS, SIBO and it's looking like Fructose Malabsorption. The three of those make me a complete weirdo when it comes to eating. Regardless of whether it's a romantic relationship or just a friendship, it makes things difficult. All of my friends tend to eat when socializing. "What do you want to do?""I don't know, let's go grab a bite to eat" or "let's go to starbucks" "or lets hang out, drink, eat junk food". Thankfully, my friends are for the most part understanding. Unfortunately a few of them have varying degrees of "tummy issues" themselves. When it comes to dating it is very hard for me. I find it embarassing to explain, but I see it as if they cannot deal with it, they aren't worth it. Thankfully the people I have dated recently have been pretty good about it. Although it can be tough when sometimes they don't see that asking you to go to Taco Bell or Checkers is a big no no. I used to not even go out because of my IBS. I used to skip meals and go a day or two without eating. Now I eat and if I get sick I get sick. However, one of my biggest fears is having "tummy issues" while being intimate. There is nothing that could kill the mood more than having to run to the bathroom.

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Pud
Long Island
IBS-D & SIBO - main symptom GAS

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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #321913 - 01/08/08 08:17 AM
maggieo

Reged: 01/08/08
Posts: 4


The social aspect was what convinced me to find help. I was afraid to eat out. Like you, playing the "where's the nearest bathroom" in my head game. It wasn't until the "worst" happened in a restaurant and I ended up at my car with my best friend's sweat jacket wrapped around my waist that I knew I needed to find out what was wrong with me. Luckily I was with someone I trusted and wasn't on a date. I had a colonoscopy and that proved to show nothing, thank GOD. My father died of colon cancer, so that was a relief. I found this site, and have put the diet into place and am drinking about 3 cups of the peppermint tea a day. I take a quarter teaspoon of the soluble fiber and I am so much better. For me I am narrowing down what my specific triggers are and to what degree they affect me. So far fat is the biggest one. It seems I can occasionally indulge in a few things ( coffee, chocolate )if I stay completely away from red meat and fatty foods. Good luck to you, and while dating the right man will be sympathetic and understanding! And he will never suggest Taco bell!
Good luck!!!!


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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #321918 - 01/08/08 08:42 AM
Kimm

Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 1171
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I have often not gone over to someone's house because I know they only have one washroom and if my stomach got upset and I had to be in there for a long time I would be embarrassed.

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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #322015 - 01/09/08 08:25 AM
melinda413

Reged: 05/09/07
Posts: 71
Loc: Findlay, OH

we actually go to almost all the regular kinds of restaurants. I don't think my IBS is as severe as some people's right now. I am going through chemo because I have breast cancer and my symptoms have subsided since then. But mainly at every restaurant I go to I ALWAYS eat the bread or rolls first. My boyfriend likes to get dips a lot which I can't eat but they always come with bread, so even if we go someplace that does not have rolls, I can eat those to have a good base before I eat. This always seems to help me be able to eat things. I also have to say that dairy does not seem to affect me like it does with other IBS-ers so I dont stay away from that. My usual order at any resaurant is grilled chicken with veggies. That I can usually manage to eat with no problems, sometimes I get gas from the veggies though. My favorite place to go is Red lobster because there rolls are great and I get the Broiled seafood platter, that way there is nothing fried on there. And i get things that do not have butter on them so in general no shrimp scampi but other than that I love that place!

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Melinda
IBS-A but leans toward C mostly

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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #322108 - 01/10/08 08:51 AM
Pud

Reged: 06/20/07
Posts: 256
Loc: Long Island

i worry about having to use someones bathroom... it took me forever to start using my now ex girlfriends bathroom... if i started to feel as though it might be an issue i'd go home or stay home..

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Pud
Long Island
IBS-D & SIBO - main symptom GAS

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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #322116 - 01/10/08 09:24 AM
Dizzy

Reged: 03/04/07
Posts: 206
Loc: university place washington

hi,
so I have been with my boyfriend for three years. I've had ibs for at least seven. we met at a dance club and were friends there for awhile, our first date was a coffee house, I had tea, he was too much of a gentlemen to ask, for a month we just didn't do date stuff with food, finally we were out we were hungry, and I just told him, I have a stomach condition, I have to be crazy picky about what I eat Or I'll have to go home because I'm sick, he was ok with it, still is three years later, we eat at japenese places, I cook, we eat at seperate restaurants,where I have a tea to be company for him. when we find places we can eat it is exciting and speacil. The right person will see YOU not the ibs tummy problems, they will just be part of the package! good luck

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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time

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Re: Trouble Socialising? new
      #322172 - 01/11/08 06:23 AM
maggieo

Reged: 01/08/08
Posts: 4


I think that going out to eat is one of the most stressful things. What makes that hard is it used to be the most enjoyable thing for me. Now I am not getting any enjoyment out of food or the socializing that goes with dining out. I have been using the diet, tea and soluable fiber since just right after xmas and am so much better. My last "attack" was Christmas day. I seriously thought my kids were going to have to take me to the hospital. Since then I have been better. When I go out to eat, I generally stick to chicken, fish and baked potatoes. Not glamerous but well worth it. Plus most of the people in my life know about my IBS, so that helps a lot. My hardest change is giving up coffee. I am about 98% free of it, but I have found I can have a few "no no's" if I stay away from my biggest triggers, which seem to be fatty meats.
Hang in there and trust me, it gets better and there is a lot of hope!!!



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SO new
      #322270 - 01/13/08 05:37 PM
Sneaker

Reged: 12/31/07
Posts: 9
Loc: Montreal

I'm 21 years old and until recently was actively dating. The guy I'm with now is fantastic. He knew me before, though, although not that well. I dated his ex-girlfriend for a wee bit, and when they were together, we went on a few outings as a group. I remember this Canada Day, we went up to her cottage in LaChute (middle of nowhere, Quebec) and I was FREAKING OUT because I needed to find a pharmacy, nownownow. I have IBS-A and was feeling like...well, you know. Immodium ahoy. I had to explain this to her, her sister, her friend, and her boyfriend...luckily there was one pharmacy open in the entire town. I digress.

Because of that he sort of knew I had 'tummy troubles'. When we started dating I just outright told him. "I have a condition called IBS, you can borrow my book on it, I can't eat much dairy, high fat foods, etc, sometimes I bolt to the bathroom, and I feel bloated and gassy a lot."

His reaction? "Oh, does that mean we can fart in front of each other?"

He spends at least two nights a week at my place, in my single bed, even when I'm having attacks. I'm not ashamed when I take out my daily Metamucil, when I need to take a Gas-X or an Immodium, or, and this is the TMI but best part, when I need to pass gas.

We've been together for two months and I can see us being together for a long time. I don't feel uncomfortable around him.

My advice? If you're around my age, you might be a bit more in luck...guys tend to like a girl who is open about her tummy problems and (gross) isn't afraid to fart in front of her boyfriend. If you can't pass gas in front of your SO...there's something wrong in the relationship!

My friends and close co-workers know I have IBS, and they're fine with it. My roomies even know, and they went out of their way this weekend to make me a special IBS-friendly cake for my birthday.

IMO: if you go on a blind date, or on a date with someone you barely know, tell them up front that you have some tummy issues, nothing you can't handle, but you can get sick. If you go on a few more dates and sense that the guy or girl is interested in more than dating and so are you, just TELL THEM. Gently, of course. If they're too grossed out (don't be graphic), or if they laugh at you, or if they just can't deal with it...dump 'em. Plain and simple. They are NOT worth your time. If someone truly likes you and wants to form a relationship with you, they won't be bothered. By weeding out the bad ones early, you save yourself a lot of heartbreak.

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