Holiday's with the Family... What should I eat?
#318472 - 11/13/07 06:24 AM
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Doxiesam
Reged: 07/09/07
Posts: 30
Loc: Oklahoma
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My husband and I go to my family's house every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. My family is very big on food and they do not like change. I'm in charge of making the green bean casserole (which I don't care for) and the sweet potato pie. I've been racking my brain trying to think of something else to take that I can eat safely. My mother and sisters are not understanding about my stomach (IBS & UC) problems, even though my mother has very similar problems. She enjoys her food too much to want to change anything. They think I am strange because I don't drink milk. I haven't told them that I am eating an IBS safe diet, as I know they will give me a hard time about it and make fun of it. I've spoke to my father about it and he's very understanding as he has watched my mother go through so much with her IBS/UC over the past 30 years. My mother is very set in her ways, when I told her I gave up drinking soda because I was having so much stomach trouble with the HFCS, she just said something flip and made me feel bad for even bringing it up even though she has the same problems with soda as I do. If I could I would skip out on dinner and just stay home with my husband and have an IBS safe meal. But I would never hear the end of it from my family. I need something I can sneak in under the radar that will pass as something normal. I'm not very good at baking; I've tried my hand at it a few times since starting Heather's diet. Can anyone suggest something that is fairly easy to make and IBS friendly?
I want to make this clear, my family adds fat/butter to almost everything! Veggies are drowned in butter (eew!), lots of butter/milk in the mashed potatoes, and sweet potato casserole is loaded with butter. All pies except for my sweet potato pie are store bought. Even though I can't eat them anymore the deviled eggs have bits of bacon added to them, and lots of miracle whip. I usually don't care for the turkey as they cook such a big bird that it tends to be overly dry. I normally just eat the ham, but I'm pretty sure it's not IBS safe so guess I'll have to chock down the dry turkey this year.
Thanks for any help you can give me.
-Samantha
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IBS-D - Diagnosed August 2002 (No D since October 07!)
Pain (No pain since October 07!), Gas/Bloating (Better)
Mild Ulcerative Colitis - Diagnosed August 2007
Acid Reflux - Diagnosed 1997
Medicine: Acacia (24 grams), Prilosec [Reflux] (20mg), Lialda [UC](2.5mg).
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Samantha, that sounds really awful. It hurts me to hear that your family isn't understanding. If you said, "I have high cholesterol - I can't eat bacon," I wonder if they'd be different. It's so cruel to not be accommodating, or at least understanding, about health issues. And even to assign you to cook a food you don't even like! That just makes me so angry.
In terms of the green been casserole and the sweet potato pie, I'm pretty sure you can make those safely. (Though since you don't *like* the casserole, I'm not sure you even care.) Here's a recipe for pumpkin pie that I bet can be adapted for sweet potato. At the very least, you can look at how this compares to a standard pumpkin pie recipe, and make the same substitutions for your pie.
I'm sure there's a way to make a safe green bean casserole - I'd do a google search for a vegan recipe, and then make sure it's not loaded with oil - but you could also be as considerate to your family's tastes as they're being to your health, and just make some other green vegetable dish that you actually *like*. You could also, though this is a bit of work, make alternate foods to what your family's serving - *safe* mashed potatoes, safe veggies, even some safe chicken. If they won't serve you food that's healthy for your body, bring your own.
The communication and consideration problems, though, worry me more. If you just want to deal with this one meal, then eat beforehand, or bring your own food, and tell them to go screw themselves. Obviously you need to protect your own wellness. That's more important than being submissive to their ridiculousness. But if there's any way at all, I'd suggest addressing the bigger problem - their resistance to listening to what you have to say and to respecting it. Have you ever sat one of them down, whent here are no distractions or teasing in the air and said, "I need you to listen to what I have to say, and respect what I'm doing for my health. If I eat this food, I will get sick." Any family who loves you should support what you're doing to make yourself well. This IBS diet is far from extreme or weird. If your family can't handle that, if they can't be serious and listen fairly for the one minute it takes to explain... Stand up for yourself, communicate clearly, and, above all else, treat yourself healthily.
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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What about some type of bread or rolls? That would also give you a soluble fiber base that would help you through the rest of the day.
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I am sorry to hear that your family just doesnt get it..But the good news is you have your hubby and if you wanted you and him could make a IBS safe dinner to eat before you went to moms. I am not sure what time they are having dinner but you could do this for lunch. This way you could get a small turkey breast and make the fixing you love. And then bring some rolls and a IBS safe pumpkin pie that you have for dessert. Although it is upsetting to have unneccessary drama at the holidays. You can be the better person and not get sucked into it all. Keep your chin up 
If you need some other ideas on what to make for yourself or what you feel comfortable bringing. Just let me know..
I guess I am fortunate since my mom is actually buying a organic fresh turkey breast from Wegmans to bring to my house. I am having this holiday and making everything IBS safe mash potato's, butternut squash soup, ect..
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IBS-C gas, bloating and acid reflux
Babies is the plan for 2008!!Hope this IBS cooperates.
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most of you will probably cringe.. however this thanksgiving i plan on eating my families food regardless.. it's only one day and if i wind up pooping my brains out thats ok! i thankfully rarely get pain and i am willing to deal with the poop for a nice slice of pumpkin pie and some yummmy stuffing and everything else of course 
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Pud
Long Island
IBS-D & SIBO - main symptom GAS 
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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How about the 5 Minute Pumpkin Pie (Heather's recipe)? It's really, REALLY easy and tastes great! I make it every year so I can have something for dessert. I also recommend bringing your own safe rolls or biscuits, as someone else mentioned. Is it possible for you to ask your mom to save a boiled potato for year, before she mashes it up with milk and butter? YOu could put some cranberry sauce (usually safe) on your turkey -- maybe that will help with the dryness.
Wow, I'm sorry your family isn't understanding at all. I'm fortunate that my mom tries to make Thanksgiving as IBS-safe and delicious as possible every year.
Edited by Maria!Maria! (11/13/07 09:10 AM)
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My family aslo refuses to "cater" to any special IBS diet needs and will frowns on me bringing my own meal. So, another Thanksgiving I will not be spending with them. I tried in the beginning...but just ended up starving because I couldn't eat anything, which also made them mad. At least by staying home, I can eat and not have to deal with their anger outright.
For those whose families understand, do they want to adopt me? 
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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Quote:
For those whose families understand, do they want to adopt me?
I seriously wish I could. I sometimes forget how lucky I am. Not only is my mom dealing with my IBS, but also the fact that I'm a vegetarian! It hit home how lucky I am at Rosh Hashanna - the first night, at my dad's, he set aside some egg noodles from the pot roast (pre-meat) and I had those with tomato sauce, and there was also salad I could eat. The second night, at my mom's, she called me a few days in advance to go over the menu, to make sure there was food I could eat, and we talked about options. At Thanksgiving she makes everything dairy-free and chicken-broth-free, makes me vegetarian stuffing. (It's not like "catering" to IBS needs is so insanely difficult!) This year, because I'm excited about cooking, I'm helping out a lot, and coming up with a lot of ideas for side dishes and whatnot. I really appreciate it, but I also wish that such consideration from family members weren't so rare! How crazy is it to make food so that your loved ones won't get vionlently sick?! It makes me so angry.
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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I also have some problems with family understanding. Anything different is scary; so for some it is easier to get mad or forget about trying it. You can't change people. You could mention that if you wanted me to feel well you wouldn't give me such greif over what I eat.
You could bring
1) Your own stuffing
2) Safe bread/rolls
3) Have a baked potatoe/sweet potatoe
4) Your own pumpkin/apple pie (there is a really great recipe called yummy apple crisp on the IBS recipe message board)
5) Some safe pumpkin muffins/banana bread/soy nog bread
6) Soy nog
7) Your own salad/veggie dish
You said that you would get trouble from your family for bringing your own food. Tell them that if they aren't willing to help you cook for your diet then there are two other options. 1- you bring your own food and 2- you don't come. If that doesn't help maybe next year don't come. I'll bet the following year they will be more understanding.
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Crohns, lactose intolerant
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