Intimacy Question
#317890 - 11/03/07 03:15 PM
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Last month, I had a vaginal sonogram. When the doctor moved her little wand to my left side, I felt pain. It made me tense my insides up the way I do during sex when I feel the same pain. I was "ouching" throughout that portion of the exam and the doctor turned the monitor around so that I can see what she was seeing. Sonogram images are usually black and grey and what she showed me next to my left ovary was a huge portion of white. She said that it was all gas stuck in there and that my body will naturally release it but since it's due to IBS, it'll just form again.
My question is, how do you ladies deal with intimacy and avoid the severe IBS cramps that come after being intimate? I haven't been intimate since June and it's because I feel that it's not worth the pain I feel afterward, that and the sporadic nausea that may come from it as well.
The sonogram proved that there was nothing wrong with my insides--no fibroids etc.
Thanks and sorry for the TMI. 
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Wendy IBS A thru Z 
Taking it one day at a time...
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Good to know I'm not the only one who gets nauseous after. My poor hubby, it's been at least a month and a month before that. Thank goodness he's so understanding. I do miss how we used to be quite a bit more intimate but it is hard getting past the pain and all from sex. No advice for you, just know that you're not alone.
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Susan
IBS-A, Gas, Pain, Reflux
"The first in time and the first in importance of the influences upon the mind is that of nature. Every day, the sun; and after sunset, night and her stars. Ever the winds blow; ever the grass grows."
Emerson, August 31, 1837
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Thanks black. At this point, I'm 33 and I'm not dating since that would probably mean dinner and a movie (which between the IBS food restrictions and my anxiety will never happen--for now), and at this rate, I'll never get married and have kids!
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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BendeeWendee-
Dont think like that. Seriously as difficult as it sounds you will find someone who understands. Its not like you are just strange or not fun etc( dont know you that well but you seem nice) you know those are things that men are like "no thanks " to. Having IBS is something that you cant change, ya know? You have to just be as safe with you eatting etc for the first part of dating and then be honest with someone. And laugh at yourself, it helps and it helps to ease the awkwardness of that conversation. Just explain little bits at a time(start with the less graphic  )
My husband was so understanding when i told him after we had been dating for a lil while ( helps that hes a personal trainer and incredible fascinated withe the human body) but he was very calming and had the attitude like I care about you and want you to feel good and live as vivaciously as someone with IBS can. Even if that meant we had to go to the movie 1st( and i wouldnt eat anything for a few hours b4) and then do dinner and then I needed to go home ( in case I was gassy or had pains)and things like that
You will find someone who is interested in YOU, not just the part of you that doesn't have something embarrassing plaguing them everyday.
Good luck and be positive
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Bendee,
At first when I got IBS I had to completely avoid being intimate. I was in so much pain because I was really constipated. Even now if I get constipated for couple of days it becomes painful again. I cannot get wild and rough or I will pay for it later. Always helps to put a heating pad on the tummy afterwards.
You are a beautiful girl with great sense of humor and you're very intelligent. Don't ever think that you won't meet anyone or have kids. He is out there, the one. Just don't get depressed.
Hugs,
Tatyana.
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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Hey Wendy,
I just wanted to pipe up by saying that I totally empathize. It's been over a year since I've been in a committed, intimate relationship and 90% of the reason is due to my IBS discomfort. Although I do have a lot of my symptoms under control, I still have big problems with gas and bloating. And I'm at the age where I feel most guys will get "weirded out" if I try to explain my issues without getting graphic. It's just really difficult to even consider dating because almost all dates center around food or alcohol, and for me that is limited of what I can eat, particularly when it comes to eating out. Like you, I worry that I will never find someone who will except me for me, IBS and all, and therefore won't get married and have children. I do try to be positive, but that can be difficult when the majority of my friends my age are either married, engaged, or in serious relationships. I just try to keep my mother's words in mind -- she's a big proponent of "everything happens for a reason." So I'm sending you good thoughts and wishes that your IBS will not hold you back when it comes to pursuing the things you need and want in life -- and an unconditional loving relationship is certainly on that list Take care.
Julie
IBS-D, GERD, lactose intolerant
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"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
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Tatyana - Thanks! I don't really get depressed about it, I think I get horny! LOL Just kidding. When I was 17 I thought that by the age of 30 I'd be married with kids. I mean, 30 years old was soooo far away. Here I am at 33 going on 34 next month and I don't feel like my biological clock is ticking, but I definitely don't want to be having babies in my 40s! I want to meet someone and just be us for a couple of years before adding rugrats. 
Julie - There are days when I'm sure I'll meet someone and then there are days when I find myself day dreaming about meeting someone. I can be such a teenager sometimes. My big fear is not having my parents around to see my first born (my sisters have kids) and not having my Dad walk me down the aisle.
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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I have been single for the last 3 years since ending a very serious relationship and about 5 months ago got in a new relationship. We are now very serious about each other but we live an hour and a half apart so I only see him on the weekends. My IBS has been pretty good but I have noticed that after he leaves on Sunday my stomache take about 3 days to go back to normal. I am IBS C with gas, so the whole weekend we spend together I am constipated and can barely pass the gas I need to. I was wondering if it was just me or if the IBS was what caused that! It's not a very good cycle because by the time I see him on Friday I'm pretty good again and then it gets all screwed up by us being intimate. But I definitely don't want to stop that part of our relationship! He is very understanding but I am also going through chemo for breast cancer so I don't want to throw too much on him at once. He is very sympathetic about everything going on and he does know about my IBS just not the part that intimacy can be uncomfortable for me because of it.
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Melinda
IBS-A but leans toward C mostly
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The last time I was intimate was back in either late June or early July. I felt really nauseaus afterward and then I got unbelievably painful cramps. I've never given birth before but it felt as if something were going to come out of my vajayjay or my rear. That happened about 1 hour after sex. Since then, I've not been intimate because I don't want to feel the pain. The nausea I can deal with but the pain was a bitch!
Good luck with your chemo. On a side note, if you get queasy from your chemo, try ginger chews from www.gingerpeople.com
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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So I have a question about this for all the women here. I only see my boyfriend on the weekend's so that is the only time we are intimate is Friday thru Sunday. If my BM's are fine all week and then I see him on the weekend I automatically become constipated again. I will go on Friday and not agin until Monday usually. Could this be because we are intimate or does anyone think it has more to do with me pattern of things being out of wack? I have no pain from being intimate, just the constipation. I am also more likely to be more adventurous with my diet when he is here as well, not too crazy but a little. Not because he doesn't understand but because I want to be normal around him. I just wanted to know if anyone else has had this problem?
thanks
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Melinda
IBS-A but leans toward C mostly
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