Does anyone else feel like a hypochondriac around other people?
#3151 - 03/18/03 01:01 PM
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Nugget
Reged: 02/10/03
Posts: 2167
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I've been thinking how wonderful it would be to be "normal". I appreciate their concern...but I get tired of friends, relatives, etc. asking me "can you eat this (or that)?"....and then saying "why not?" And my mom saying "you used to be able to eat it." Sometimes I feel like some people don't believe me and that they think it's all in my head. My husband has even told me on occasion that I just need to "quit worrying so much about things...". Sometimes I get the impression that people think this is something I can just turn off and get over. That I say I can't eat something just because I don't like it. I look back on all the foods I used to eat and the foods I was raised on and can't believe I made it this far. My mom used to baste(sp?) fried eggs in bacon grease, deep fry home made doughnuts in lard....make homemade cookies with real butter....and so on and so on. Nothing against my moms cooking...it was great...but I can't eat it now and at times it hurts her feelings, I know.
Sorry for rambling, but just had to get it off my chest. I got my results back from the CT scan for my chest pains that I have been having during my menstral cycles and the doc left a message on our answering machine that everything was in the normal range....which is good other than I don't know what is causing the pains. My husband was in the room, too when we checked our messages and after hearing the results...he didn't say a word or even comment at all. So that made me feel like he thinks it's in my head. Maybe not, but that's how I feel.
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I thought I was the only person that feels this way! You're definately NOT the only one--cause I feel this way too. My mom even has ulcerative colitis and IBS but doesn't take care of it--and she thinks I'm going overboard trying to follow Heather's diet. As for friends, most of mine don't know yet. I've just kinda been laying low (and I used to be REALLY social). The ones that do not seem curious--and they seem to pitty me. I'm not quite sure how to deal with the pitty yet. It's just weird.
I'm glad everything is normal in your chest!!!! But that DOES NOT mean you're imagining the pain! Do you feel the pain when you're anxious? Maybe it's provoked by anxiety. I hope the pains go away soon!
In any case, good luck, and feel good! 
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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It funny you meantion this today, as I was having a hard time this morning and was thinking the same thing. My husband tells me all the time that I just need to relax- but he does not know really what we go through in a day. My family thinks it is crazy all the adjustments I have made and the fact that I prefer them to come here to eat-instead of having a possible attack elsewhere. Thank god this board understands the difficulties- both of IBS and the reaction of others to it. 
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AMEN!!!
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Thank you....
The pains just started back around November/December and I finally talked with my doc about them. He ordered a chest x-ray and an echocardiogram(sp?) which only showed very minor valve leakage which he says is so minor that it shouldn't cause any troubles. I'm still not sur I understand it fully, but he says it's not the Mitral Valve Prolapse...but something else that I was probably born with. He put me on Protonix for what he thought might be GERD...but it didn't seem to help after the 2 month dose. I kept track of when the pains were occuring and they happen just before, during, or just after my menstral cycle. I called my doc again and told him this and that's when he ordered the CT scan to rule out any deformaties or blockages, etc. He said I might want to schedule an appointment next month during my period if the pains occur so they can possibly do an upper GI scope while the pains are there. Not sure if I want to put out more money, though if it's not going to show anything....I have insurance, but it's still a chunk of money out of my pocket. You know what I mean?
Frustrating! Thanks for listening.
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Count me in this group also. My sister and uncle have Crohn's disease and both have had multiple surgeries to have sections of their intestines removed. They also sometimes look really bad. They will be puffy sometimes or skin-and-bones other times. Crohn's is a very serious disease.
So then along comes me with all of these big diet changes because of a few tummyaches and a little bloating and constipation. I feel like they think I'm being melodramatic.
And then my mother-in-law is always questioning my diet. She thinks it's bad that I don't eat whole wheat bread, that I don't have dairy for the calcium, and that I "skimp" on the veggies or cook them "to death".
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Nugget,
I sooooo understand where you are coming from. I have my own jewelry business and I do alot of home shows and craft shows. Today these ladies had made all this food for the vendors. I could not eat one thing! One of the ladies brought a plate of food over to me and I had to decline her. I could tell she was a little hurt. I explained that I get very sick if I eat certain foods. So, she started asking for details. "Like what happens?" And it was very weird to be telling a total stranger that I get diarehha and all of the other lovely details. So, I told her she really did not want to know. She continued to push (I do not think she believed me) So I told her. She said "OH" and walked away.
It was horrible, but she asked for it. I agree with you I wish I could be "normal"
Good Luck
biscrandi
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I can totally relate!I used to eat 3 tacos in one sitting, gulp down the mcdonalds food, drink soda by the liter and practically inhale bacon and eggs in the morning.now everytime i turn that down, my mom always asks me why and asks me why could i eat it b4 bu now now.:( like you, im amazed i have gotten this far.
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-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name
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Oh yes, I feel like a hypochondriac...esp. since, as my significant other continually points out to me, how can I "cheat" so often and still claim to be ill? (He doesn't know how much time I spend in the bathroom, that's how!) Plus his mom has IBS and her symptoms are worse than mine are--but she doesn't know about the diet (though I've given him the URLs of the webpages to e-mail to her)--anyway, I'm more careful, I think, than he realizes.
I was filling out a job application for a residential school and it requests information about health conditions, medications, allergies, and I felt foolish trying to explain what IBS is and to sum up the diet in about three lines. <sigh> And this is the job I really, really want, too. Wish me luck!
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It's so hard for people to understand unless they're actually in our shoes. Plus, every case is different--so for him to compare you to his mom is pretty unfair--but pretty human too  And it is SO HARD not to cheat! Just because we know something isn't good for us, that doesn't mean it's easy to do the healthy/good thing (especially all the time).
Good luck with the job interview! What exactly are residential schools--is that medical school related? I'm sure that you'll get the job regardless of IBS stuff--no worries! Let us know how it goes! Do you have to interview for the position? Good luck with everything!! 
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Good luck with the job. I know how difficult it is to find an employer who is understanding about the frequent trips to the bathroom. Luckily mine doesn't ask too many questions.
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I get awful chest pains, I have often worried that it was my heart, but I get them on both sides of my chest. I get scared to move when I get them. I have had them for years and have just always thought it was gas. I haven't tracked them enough to know if it is near and around my menstrual cycles.
I feel like my coworkers think I'm a hypochondriac because I miss allot of time from work. I have tried to explain that I have a medical problem, but I don't think they believe me nor understand what IBS is and what I go through everyday.
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Have you asked your doctor about GERD? I got the same symptoms (stabbing pains on both sides of my chest near the centre?) and it is scary when it's that painful. I'm now on medication to control it (Pantoloc and Motilium a.k.a. Novo Domperidone) and this helps LOTS!!!!
Lorna
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Lorna
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A few years ago my doc put me on previcid and eventually it stopped working so he gave me losec and it worked for about a year and now I'm on pantoloc. I find they help keep the heartburn at bay when they work but that I still get the chest pains occasionally. I do have to admit that I seem to get chest pains more when I forget to take my meds or when they start to stop working. I find when the adic gets bad, I also get a metal copper like taste in my mouth.
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TessLouise - Good Luck on the job interview! Hope you get it!
Sharon
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Sharon
"Anything Chocolate"...that is all!
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Lots of luck. School is such a bizarre place to work in and have IBS. I used to never eat anything except toast and rice until after school for fear of having an attack. I couldn't leave the classroom. Well, some classes I could once they knew my expectations but others, NO WAY. I taught grade 7 and 8. Hormonal darlings. Anyway, my point to you is this: One year my principal cut some special ed lines (which I loved because I could go to the bathroom anytime then) and added more classes. I was tight lipped and upset. I went in the next day and told him why - that I have IBS and that more classes means that I can eat less. He was wonderful. He set up a support system where another teacher (special ed) could supervise my class in case of attack. All I had to do was run by their door on my way to the bathroom (2 hallways and a flight of stairs away) and send them to my classroom. All the resource teachers knew about my condition (I told them) and one other one even has IBS too. I finally realized that if you are working with a supportive staff, level with them. I got so much support. Once I had an emergency plan in place, I think I only had 2 attacks that year, and I was able to eat normally. The more I talk to people about IBS, the more people I realize will say "Oh, I know so and so has it, too." People in general are starting to realize this is serious. Take care and I can't wait to hear how it goes! 
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I too suffer this and I find it settles then flares from time to time. I am on a new medication for this now called nexium and it seems to be quite good so far. It also helps with the nausea i get as well.
Kerrie
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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I can empathize: families know us too well, and often think we 're "crying wolf" - especially if we have other chronic conditions, like allergies, CFS, chronic anxiety, depression, etc. I think managing our foods without causing a big "disruption" or drawing too much attention to ourselves will eventually make this a non-issue for most reasonable people. Yes, Moms and feeding their children is an emotional issue, even unconciously - but maybe telling Mom privately and gently how much you enjoyed her cooking, and how many fond memories you have of it, will soften her up for the truth of the matter: that you just can't eat it any more, and it's not her fault. Maybe she'll eventually want to learn some special recipe from Heather's book, just for you!
Regarding eating out, I think a good reply to well-meaning people who offer us food might be, "That's so kind of you, and it looks delicious! Unfortunately, my doctor has me on a food elimination diet for a while to determine what might be upsetting my tummy. Maybe next time!" Then, you may not see these people again, or, if you do, you can expand then and tell them a little more: "My doctor discovered that I have a severe reaction to certain foods or combination of foods, so for now, I'm on a pretty strict diet. Thanks for understanding." If they press you to have "just one", you might say, kind of mischievously, "Well, it might be worth a trip to the ER...maybe I will!" Bet she backs off! Some people just have to be hit over the head - KINDLY and with humor, preferably! You don't have to divulge too much information (like what the severe reaction is!), or the fact that this is really a wholesale lifestyle change - I think we can reserve that type of "in-depth" response for people we interact with on a daily basis, or have deep relationships with. That's just going to be my strategy!
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When I was first having problems I hated going to family functions, because I couldn't eat what they were preparing. I went home and broke down everytime,because they would tell me it was all in my head. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to my brother's house for a barbeque. I noticed he was preparing ribs, which is a real no no for me. I said I was going to go buy some chicken for me because I am unable to eat the ribs. He got in my face and said,"You come over here and see what I'm making and then tell me you're going to buy chicken?" How rude. either you eat this or leave. I told him I couldn't eat it, that it upsets my intestinal track. He said, "It's all in your head." I yelled at him, that I wish I didn't have this problem. I wish I could eat all the foods I'm unable to eat now. I wish I could eat and enjoy ice cream, ribs, and corn, but I can't." "I wish all of you would understand and accept it. I can't help it, and I can't fix it!" I ran out of thier house and was in tears. I talked to my husband, (who was my boyfriend and support system at that time), who was out of town. He suggested I write my family a letter about my illness, and get some info off the internet and mail it to them. I did and what a complete turn around. My parents called me and apoligized for my brothers behavior. My brother called me and apoligized too. He didn't realize that what I had was so severe and it wasn't my fault at all. Now when they have dinners, everyone will tell me what they are serving and I bring what I can eat. I also make a dairy free dessert, which everyone loves.
So I know how you feel. I've been there. 
I'm so glad i found this board to vent, meet others who have IBS like me, and get ideas on how to help with it.
Karen
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I know what you are talking about - the problem is that most people aren't informed about this illness (?) and so they can't really understand what it means for us.
Usually I just say I have to be careful what I eat so I don't get a dodgy stomach. When they hear that, they aren't usually inclined to hear the details!
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This may be totally irrelevant, but I have had a condition called "costochondritis" - basically, an inflammation of the cartilage between the ribs (I think I've explained that correctly). The first time I had an attack, I was at work and thought I was having a heart attack (had already had my gallbladder removed, so I knew it wasn't that!) Now, I only very rarely have a little "flare". The ribs are actually tender to the touch during an attack, and the patient feels a need to "protect" the ribs by tensing up. It can become chronic (just what we need, huh?) but usually doesn't. And, like IBS, not that much is known about it, although it seems to be triggered in some people by overexertion, and some women do experience more of the discomfort during their cycles. You might want to look this up on the web (there's another name for it, too, just can't remember what it is - it's someone's name). Just a thought. Pray you heal from WHATEVER it is!
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I feel the same way. I have had tons of tests with normal results. Not many people are understanding and it is sad. I empathize with you. THat is why this board is so great; we are NOT alone!
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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about???
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If I didnt have you guys, I would actually believe myself that i was a hypochondriac, because everyone is constantly calling me that (especially my mom) Like when i refuse to eat a hamburger, she goes "its all in your mind, you're making yourself sick, you can eat that!" I absolutly detest it when she tries to convince me i dont have ibs! 
"Tomrrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last sylablle of recorded time"-macbeth
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-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name
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I second that...every word! For YEARS I though the fact that my tummy was one size in the morning and two sizes larger by nightfall was my imagination...now I know it's REAL--it is SO helpful to know you're not alone! (I actually thought I had issues with my view of my body perception--but I didn't...I just had IBS!) Thanks everyone!
-<3-
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Chest pains here too! I often worry that it's my heart but I've had echocardiograms and nothing is wrong. As far as feeling like a hypochondriac. I feel sorry for myself sometimes because I'm not "normal" but I must be very lucky because my family and my boyfriend (of 5 1/2 years)are so helpful with my diet. Sometimes, I find myself getting annoyed with them when I ask for a little bite of a hamburger and they tell me "NO because it will make you sick". My boyfriend is the first one to plug in the heating pad or bring me water in the bathroom or lay next to me and rub my stomach. My mom is the one who I call if he's not home. I can imagine they're sick to death of me BUT they also love me and don't want to see me hurting. If I tell my family I can't eat something or I bring a replacement it's not personal and they know it. Frankly, I don't care anyways because my health needs to be #1 not their feelings. It may sound selfish but their feelings will heal but my IBS will not. Tell your family about your problem in detail - what it feels like in your stomach or how much time you spend in the bathroom with an attack. OR call them one time in the middle of an episode when you're crying and afraid you're going to black out. They'll back off and if they don't - forget about it. You are what's most important.
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Absolutely!
Itis even harder for me at work: We usually order in as we are a very busy desk (Trading)I always get "Make sure you give the menu to Olga last, as she has to check every item, ya da yada yada." At first, I felt awful, now, I just laugh it off. My colleagues are eating junk food, while I am eating healthy!
Olgis
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When I read Heather's book it was the first time I realized I was not alone. My family tolerates my food habits and refuses to try anything I cook deaming it "weird"! My friends deal with my attacks but I know that they get frustrated when I have to find a bathroom at a club or out shopping. My co-workers are the least understanding. I think they feel that I am making it up b/c my attacks frequently occur in the a.m. which make me late for work. (My boss thankfully is very understanding and flexible) I know this sounds like I am still pretty sick but it is actually a great inprovement. I don't care what anyone else thinks, it works for me and I feel so much better!!! You know what you feel so try not to let other peoples opinion bring you down.
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