Snob?
#314937 - 09/13/07 10:22 AM
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TATYANA
Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington, Seattle
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My co-workers call me a snob, because I don't eat donuts when everybody else does. It doesn't help explaining that I have IBS. Today is another day where my co-workers buy donuts and I get "looks", as usual, because I am not eating any. Whenever they bring donuts, I know I will be in the center of "attention" that I don't necessarily need. "You aren't eating any?" "It's got fruit filling in it", and I hear laughs...
How should I respond to those sorts of comments?
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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what to say
#314953 - 09/13/07 12:06 PM
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belinda
Reged: 10/09/03
Posts: 474
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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Tell them you LOVE donuts, but that unfortunately you can't eat them because you have a health condition that requires you to follow a strict diet otherwise you can get very ill and might have to go to hospital for morphine. If they demand to know what your condition is, and if you want to tell them, then you could say it's a bowel disorder.
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Re: Snob?
#314969 - 09/13/07 01:23 PM
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clairews6
Reged: 09/08/07
Posts: 23
Loc: Staffordshire, UK
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You could just say your best friend worked in a donut making factory and told you some horror stories of what nasty things get put in them for a laugh, and have sworn you would never eat them again tee hee, it may even put them off! or you could just think sod em and rise above it, you dont need too justify yourself too them, you do what you do becasue its good for you and quite frankly none of their business!
Dont let them get too you,i have something similar at work at the moment too, it hurts doesnt it so i get where your coming from! dont let em get to you, we'll be healthy while their artery's are full of fat tee hee!
Claire x
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Aged 31, 1 Husband 2 Cats and maybe (hopefully) a baby soon 
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You could try taking something IBS safe to share with your co-workers. Maybe muffins or a quick bread that you can slice & share with them. There are a lot of recipes on this website. And if you don't like to cook, sometimes you can find IBS safe stuff at the HFS or grocery store. That way they'll see that you do want to participate, you just can't have certain foods.
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IBS-A...I can never make up my mind 
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Re: Snob?
#314976 - 09/13/07 02:53 PM
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abby6126
Reged: 04/09/07
Posts: 219
Loc: Towson MD
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The first time my office brought in donuts and I didnt eat one, when everyone asked I told them I was allergic to dairy. Since then they have never asked me to have one again and sometimes they even appologize because they know i cant eat them and feel bad eating around me.
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Abby-IBS-C, Lactose Intolerant, fructose sensitive
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Re: abby6126
#314978 - 09/13/07 03:07 PM
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TATYANA
Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington, Seattle
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It looks like you're working with some nice people. You're lucky!
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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I get this all the time, family, friends, co-workers and I too get so tired of it. "Don't you eat".....or Do you ever eat?" So I have reverted to the I'm lactose intolerant and I have an intestinal condition that limits the "types" of food I can consume without getting ill. These usually work, if I not then I go with the well if I eat that I"ll be crapping my guts out all day, do you want me to work, or be in the bathroom all day??
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IBS-D, extreme pain and cramping - GERD - lactose/dairy intolerant, OCD, Fibromyalgia
DX: w/ Multiple Sclerosis 3/10
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me. Phil 4:13
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The people i work with are amazing...everything gets easier eventually. Hang in there and it will all work out. You can even take the donut back to your desk.
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Abby-IBS-C, Lactose Intolerant, fructose sensitive
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My guys are the best coworkers anyone could ever work with. You know what I would do because I'm evil and getting on my bad side is oh so risky? Make a nice, thick batch of brownies laced with exlax. That'll show 'em. 
That actually pi$$ed me off. Stupid, simple people. Don't make me have to go to Washington State!
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Wendy IBS A thru Z 
Taking it one day at a time...
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You are so funny, you always crack me up. I love your photo and always enjoy reading what you think/write. I hope you have a good one and no pains with IBS. 
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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Wow that would be interesting to see. You know, it always amazes me how people can criticize what others are doing and with something so stupid as a donut. But evetually they will get sick of making comments and if they see you eating other things, things that you can eat, they will definately stop with the "you dont eat" comments. Hang it there, things get better.
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Abby-IBS-C, Lactose Intolerant, fructose sensitive
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Quote:
You are so funny, you always crack me up. I love your photo and always enjoy reading what you think/write. I hope you have a good one and no pains with IBS.
Thanks! Right back atcha babe!
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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You know, most people criticize others because they feel insecure. They all know they shouldn't eat the "-0- good for you, everything in it bad for you" donuts, and there you are, not eating, for a good reason, so their guilt for their lack of self control and their self loathing spills out onto you. Pity them!
Otherwise, we'll all have to pay for Wendee to come see them!
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Re: Snob?
#315016 - 09/14/07 08:16 AM
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Dizzy
Reged: 03/04/07
Posts: 206
Loc: university place washington
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i'm sorry your going through this, when I first started my new job I had a simmilar problem, my co workers are all aisian and eat, and offer, me alot of exotic food. they bring it in, and want me to try it, and I don't know whats in it, most cases neither do they. for awhile they teased me. and I finnaly got fed up! I explained to them that this was not high school, and peer preasure wasn't going to work, I'd be glad to try whatever if they agreed that If I was sick after, for days! they would all cover my work load. The food discussions have stopped,and we are finding we all have alot in commen despite the food thing.
good luck, I'm sorry you work with what sounds like a bunch of grown children!
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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time
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You said it, girlfriend. I would worry about what would come out of my mouth if I were laughed at because of my IBS. I can feel my blood pressure rise just thinking about it! I have no patience for people like that. My Bronx girl roots would definitely rear it's ugly head. I have become so much more compassionate with anyone with a medical condition like ours that it makes me crazy that someone would have the nerve to pass judgment like that on you. I'm sorry that happened to you, Tatyana.
Seriously though, I just tell my friends I have a digestive medical condition and that is usually enough.
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You guys are all amazing and so funny!!!!!! Thank you for your support!!!!!!! I feel so much better now!!!!!!! Take care y'all!!!!!
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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Re: Snob?
#315101 - 09/16/07 02:12 AM
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Sommer
Reged: 02/09/04
Posts: 283
Loc: Phoenix, Arizona USA
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Ugh, I am so sorry to hear that your co-workers are so insensitive and rude. It's rude enough of them to not respect your food/eating values. People who eat Kosher, Vegan, Vegetarian,, etc., should not be ostracized or teased for their preferences, imho. Seriously, it makes me angry to hear that you are being treated this way.
If I were you, since mentioning IBS may be too much for their petty minds to handle (sorry I don't mean to insult your co-workers, but it's truly petty behavior), tell them you have a few severe food allergies or intolerances that affect you greatly. You are not abstaining from donuts because you are a snob, you are trying to save yourself from being in serious pain. And even if you were abastaining from donuts for another reason other than IBS, you probably don't need to go into too much detail. Imho, they don't deserve a long explanation.
Well, it stinks though, because it's not fun adding tension to the workplace by being uncomfortable around your co-workers. I really wish you a lot of luck, it's a tricky situation. Just try not to sink to their level, You're a better person. 
Btw, the last time I had to deal with co-workers grumblinga bout my food choices was when I first started the IBS diet and I was so fickle about it that they hardly noticed I was eating differently than they did, so I don't have any tried-and-true advice. Sorry about that.
I can usually get by with telling people I have IBS, which is Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and is a digestive disorder or disease (whichever word I decide to use) which affects how and what I can eat. Most people go "OH...that sucks." I think the worst I've gotten is pity and dirty looks because why am I trying to eat healthy when I'm already skinny?
Take care, sweetie, hope you can get past this, and concentrate on more important things. You certainly don't need the stress they are causing you.
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XOXO from lil' ol' me. (IBS-C, mood disorders, etc., etc.)
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Sommer,
Thank you for your kind words. The problem is that I already explained to all of my co-workers that I have food allergies or IBS. 2 people that I work with also had IBS at some point but now they eat pretty much everything and they forgot what it's like when your IBS flares up.
Yes, I too hate when people think that I'm on a diet, saying "You're too skinny already!" Or if I take walks on my breaks, people say: "What are you exercising for?" Or when I am cold at the office, they say "Put some meat on". That does make me really mad because I wish that I could put some meat on. I would gladly gain 20 pounds but I cannot eat heavy/fatty meals to do so. So, like you said, I guess I just have to learn to ignore people's comments.. My fiance's friend told him: "She was so much hotter when she was heavier". Agh!
God bless you and your family.
Tatyana.
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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Wow, this sounds familiar. My co-workers all know about my problem, and yet the last couple of times we've had b-day parties in the office, two of them put the fork to their mouths (with b-day cake) and looked at me and said, "mmmm, this is so good." They know, on top of everything else, that I'm lactose intolerant. I just ignore them. It's way past insensitive in my opinion. Another one continually makes faces when she looks at my lunches.
Oh, and the gym thing. Yep, get tired of people asking why I'm going to the gym, because, they say, I certainly don't need to. That shows their ignorance, as they think gyms are only for people wanting to lose weight.
So try just to ignore the insensitive, ignorant people. It gets easier.
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To DianeM
#315120 - 09/16/07 01:57 PM
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TATYANA
Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington, Seattle
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You're very sweet . Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding.
Tatyana.
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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UGH!! Ooh, I'm just raging mad after I read your post. Your fiance's friend told him that about you? Ugh, ugh, ugh! (Insert numerous and various expletives including made up ones here). I can't even begin to think how to react to comments like that. That is just plain, downright rude for people, grown people of all things, to say such things to you.
Because they are co-workers, you can't completely ignore them (unfortunately). But you're better off. You're taking care of yourself as best as you can, and you're not stooping to their level to be mean and rude, and disrespectful. I guess the best you can do is try to be content with your 'lot in life' so to speak. They obviously aren't content with theirs and are acting like children.
Everyone with IBS is different, so if some of them have IBS, maybe they either don't care about taking care of themselves, or they are just lucky or something. That gives them no right to put you down.
And, I really hope your fiance doesn't feel the same way his friend does about you. Imho you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone, let alone marry them, if they can't respect you and love you for who you are and how hard you try to take care of yourself. You know you aren't skinny on purpose. I've only met you recently through reading your posts, I think you're a really great person, beautiful inside and out. I hope this behavior you have to deal with from other people will not affect you too badly, I know it's hard not to stress over it. Every muscle in my body is tense with anger after reading what you had to say, so I can imagine how you must feel about it. *HUGS*
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XOXO from lil' ol' me. (IBS-C, mood disorders, etc., etc.)
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Heh, like totally! You said it, DianeM. It's sad though to see and hear so many adults acting so immature. None of them should be allowed to have or raise children, the last thing we need is future generations of jerks. Ya know, Tatyana was called a snob, I think these people we all have to deal with who make rude comments and snide remarks, and faces at us are the true snobs. Close-minded snobs, in fact.
And you're right, too, how do people who are in shape stay in shape? Hah! They keep working out, walking, going to the gym, etc., and they eat as healthy as they can.
*Sigh, grumble...* Sorry I had to vent some more. Thanks for posting to me. I appreciate the support a lot.
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XOXO from lil' ol' me. (IBS-C, mood disorders, etc., etc.)
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Re: Snob?
#315132 - 09/16/07 08:35 PM
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caitlineb
Reged: 07/01/07
Posts: 68
Loc: bay area, CA
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I have the same problem. I am skinny (5'7'' and 110 lbs.) and always get comments about my weight. "Well, I can't friggin eat as much as you!!" is what i want to say.
The only comments I usually get at work about my eating restrictions are: "you poor thing" when we have a dairy eating party at work (read: cake and ice cream...) and "go girl! eat eat eat" when they see me snacking at my desk. How lame? Like my diet is anyone's business in the first place.
So good luck with all the hecklers. There are lots of those in life! My idea is that anyone who makes a disparaging remark about someone else is most likely doing it out of jealousy. Example: you're thin, they're not! So let THEM deal with their insecurities, and just know that you are a better person for not feeling the need to talk down to someone, or make someone feel like a freak for acting/being/eating a certain way.
More power to you for sticking to your diet and not eating a junky donut just because everyone else is!
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"I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it." -Jerry Seinfeld
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XOXO from lil' ol' me. (IBS-C, mood disorders, etc., etc.)
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To Sommer
#315143 - 09/16/07 10:19 PM
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TATYANA
Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington, Seattle
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Sommer. You are the sweetest girl, do you know that? I am just about to go to bed and decided to check the msg board. No, my fiance thinks that I am perfect the way I am and he says I look like balarina. I woke up this morning as he was whispering into my ear, saying that I am delicate, fragile and one of the most beautiful women in the world. That certainly made my day, week or a month!
You too sound like an amazing person and I hope you have somone who appreciates you and loves you.
Take care.
Tatyana.
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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To caitlineb
#315144 - 09/16/07 10:24 PM
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TATYANA
Reged: 07/22/07
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington, Seattle
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Thank you so much! I am 5'7 and I weigh 105 now. This is the lowest I've been ever.. I am 25 now and when I was 16 I used to weigh 123. Oh, I loved my weight then! But, I cannot help it and no matter how much I want to be heavier, it is not going to happen, especially if I stress about it, I am going to loose even more weight. And my every day walking also burns off all of my calories. But, I would choose being skinny over being over weight, don't you think?
LOL.
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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You know, people like your coworkers and your fiance's "friend" is just living proof that there are more horses asses than there are horses.
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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You guys are funny I'm loving reading all these responses! Every other Friday is donut day here at work, and I don't touch the things. I have told my coworkers that I'm allergic to dairy, and that usually takes care of things! I also get the "put some fat on your bones" remark when I say I'm cold, but I know they're just jealous
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lisa, IBS-C (Vegan)
Stable since July 2007!
Mommy to Rhiannon Marie (Dec. 13, 2008)
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The "heaviest" I've ever been is something like 121...
Does anyone know how to gain muscle weight? I don't want to blow up on fatty foods (mostly because those make me sick to my stomach) but muscle weight might help me out a bit. I have back problems and my chiropractor tells me that being comprised of skin and bones does not help my situation. If only going to the gym weren't such a chore!
Tatyana, if we lived in the same city, we'd totally be hanging out.
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"I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it." -Jerry Seinfeld
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You don't have to go to the gym to bulk up. By bulking up I don't mean that you're trying to be Ms. Olympia but I'm guessing you mean you want to tone up, get some definition. There are physical strength excercises that will do just that without having to by weights, etc. Situps (tummy), squats and lunges (legs, thighs, butt), and push ups/pull ups (biceps, triceps, forearms). Turbo Jam DVDs are excellent for this.
If everyone here were in NY, we'd all be totally hanging out and making fun of everyone who just can't seem to get their act together and eat healthy!
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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Re: Snob?
#315187 - 09/17/07 06:50 PM
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caputsky
Reged: 03/24/07
Posts: 256
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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I just had to put my two-cents in on this one because I've been reading the replies for the past week and just love most of them! I am completely blessed to have wonderful co-workers (I am a teacher) and although I have to avoid 99% of what is in the faculty room, my colleagues still offer me things to eat and ask me if I can have some. They never get bent out of shape when I say "no." However, I have dealt with other people being complete jerks about my diet. I am a member of an ultimate frisbee league, and am close with many of the people I play with. It's tradition to hit up a local pub after we play at night, and of course I don't drink. My friends are totally cool with it, but new people are constantly joining the league. Just recently this guy who thinks he's all that at frisbee was at the pub after the game and saw me drinking just a water. His comment was "What, you just go to bars and stand around and not drink?" (complete with a sneer). When I said that I can't drink because of health reasons, he just cut me off and said "yeah, yeah, right." Not only was it rude to cut me off, but I was seeing red since he has absolutely NO IDEA what it is like. Yes, I'd love to enjoy a beer with everyone else, but I know that it's just not worth it in terms of my IBS. Personally, I think there are plenty of adults out there who need to go back to elementary school and re-learn the golden rule: "Treat others how you would like to be treated." So I hear you, I sympathize, and don't ever let people like that get to you. I know how truly hard it is to ignore hurtful comments sometime, but honestly, you shouldn't even have to listen to insensitive, shallow jerks like that (I could use better adjectives, but there would a bleep every other letter ). Just pretend they don't exist and realize that those people who truly care about you love you for who you are and would never judge you just because of what you eat...we're all with you on this
Julie
IBS-D, GERD, lactose intolerant
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"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
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Problem:
Quote:
His comment was "What, you just go to bars and stand around and not drink?" (complete with a sneer). When I said that I can't drink because of health reasons, he just cut me off and said "yeah, yeah, right." Not only was it rude to cut me off, but I was seeing red since he has absolutely NO IDEA what it is like.
Solution:
At your next frisbee match, "accidently" aim the frisbee directly at problem's head. That ought to make him squeal, "geez, watch it will ya?!", to which you reply, with a sneer no less, "I'm so sorry! I'm sober now, can you imagine what would happen if I had a drink???"
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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Re: Snob?
#315210 - 09/18/07 08:32 AM
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Dizzy
Reged: 03/04/07
Posts: 206
Loc: university place washington
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so since we have instituted this thread my boss at work has told me I have anerexia like 10 times. she had anerexia, and considers herself better now. She eats kfc, entire watermelons,and fast food junk everyday. I have been really tired lately and depressed her answer is I have anerexia, and have to eat food with fat, I brought her Ibs info,and she said she covered up her anerexia by saying she had a stomach condition. I was mostly vegetarian when I started there but have been eating chicken and fish, since I'm anemic, and soy, which had been my protein was becoming hard to tolerate. i finnaly said I understood she'd had a hard time and that she had gotten better, but that not every sensitive stomach was anerexia, and that I have had doctors diagnose my Ibs. She then asked when I was going to see my doc again, so he could fix this. To which I have to admit I just got steamed and said, "when I get medical insurance!" That pretty well ended that, since my company supposedly has benifeits but I've never seen them. sorry to rant but I spent all day yesterday crying. 
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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time
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Oh, you poor thing!
My mother doesn't know anything about IBS or allergies. She says she never heard of anything like that in Ukraine. She thinks that I dieted myself so hard that I got IBS. I never dieted! And my sister, every time she sees me, she says: "Will you at least eat some bread? You look terrible!" My dad told me: "It's good to see you smile again. You used to come around, whining and complaining about your health all the time…" So, lately I have been telling my family that I'm doing fine, even if I am not.
You're not alone!
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IBS-C since 2006. No signs of IBS now, it's been 4 yrs. Only dairy allergy now.
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You guys are gonna have to start the "Don't Let Wendy Come Up Here" foundation so that I can have the funds to visit a few people, you know, give 'em a talking to...
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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I will try to get toned without going to the gym, then. Hmm, I do have Carmen Electra's strip tease DVDs... I think those are dusty, because I've only tried 'em once!! Let's just say I'm not the most coordinated chick out there.
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"I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it." -Jerry Seinfeld
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Oh my gosh, you totally made me laugh hysterically with your comment! And don't worry, since then I've managed to throw a couple discs a bit close to his noggin, although none of them have actually hit to knock any sense into him, hehe. Luckily, he's definitely one of those guys who is all talk, and most people in the league really can't stand that, so I'm not the only one who has issues with him. But I will definitely use the response you suggested if he happens to be stupid enough to say anything You rock!
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"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."
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thanks so much, I'm ussually really good at not letting that kind of stuff bother me. I think that I'm just going to let it roll off, I can't change the way other people think, just me.
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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time
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Re: Snob?
#315269 - 09/19/07 01:25 AM
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Dizzy
Reged: 03/04/07
Posts: 206
Loc: university place washington
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hee hee. beware the Ibs chickletts! we will breaka your knee caps, and then offer you a big slice of fat free angel food cake!
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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time
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Re: To caitlineb
#315270 - 09/19/07 01:29 AM
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Dizzy
Reged: 03/04/07
Posts: 206
Loc: university place washington
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Omg! I have those too, the fit to strip, more workoutish onem is actully pretty good! the others though, I find really sort of silly, but alot of fun, and an interesting adition to your home dvd library. I've had morbidly curious freinds borrow them a couple times. everyone agrees that the workout one is pretty good.
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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time
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That's right! We rock! 
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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Anybody ever notice that no one tries to make a diabetic eat a donut?
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