Should I still be scared to eat out?
#313748 - 08/22/07 06:32 PM
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DianeM
Reged: 12/05/06
Posts: 173
Loc: Kentucky
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OK, so I haven't eaten in a restaurant in about 8 months. I'm not totally stable, but I'm doing pretty well. My job requires me to go to a lot of luncheons and dinners and I always skip eating (and I'm getting tired of explaing to people why I'm not eating. Of course I don't give them the IBS story, just tell them it's food sensitivities, allergies, etc). Anyway, is it normal to feel like you may never get the nerve to eat in a restaurant again?
My diet is very limited: hot rice cereal, sourdough bread, raspberries or strawberries, banana or one of the other breads, white rice, baked chicken or fish, ginger chews, almond butter in small amounts, rice chex and honeycomb. That's about it.
Is this an irrational fear? I'm really afraid that I'll end up really sick again.
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I don't think it is irrational. I'm scared also. I'm scared when I go out to eat (which we don't do very offen. Almost never.) I'm scared when I go to anyone's house. Even any of my family's house. I try to be very careful of what I eat and they aren't so much. You could always order dry toast, pasta with tomato sauce, grilled chicken, grilled shrimp or fish with white rice, lemonaide, deli sandwiches (without mayo or cheese), breads, fruit bowls, steamed veggies, some places have turkey burgers or an english muffins. That is all I got. Maybe others have some ideas. If you still don't feel comfortable just don't. Nobody wants to feel sick.
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Crohns, lactose intolerant
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Are you kidding me? I haven't been to a restaurant or any other outside eatery since March! Not only am I scared to eat, I'm scared to eat all of the safe things when I'm not at home. Today I at work I ate one of those Oatmeal To Go Breakfast bars from Quaker (the brown sugar/cinnamon flavor) and I did so only because I felt some kind of normalcy.
This too shall pass.
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Wendy IBS A thru Z 
Taking it one day at a time...
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My neighbors invited my husband and I out for dinner this weekend. They were very considerate and asked where I would like to go. I called 3 different restaurants and asked a million questions about food preparation. 2 of the 3 places said they would cook a lovely meal for me knowing ahead of time what I needed to avoid. Needless to say I made a reservation and am looking forward to going out tomorrow night. These are higher end restaurants, so I'm guessing they would cater a bit more to their customers. I am a bit nervous, but am trusting I will be fine. I like taking care of myself and want to finally meet with some success with eating out since being diagnosed. In the past, the only dessert I've ended up having was a prescription medication for pain. Instead of snuggling up with my husband, I was lovin' the hot water bottle instead!
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Wendy
#313854 - 08/24/07 10:40 AM
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Jordy
Reged: 08/12/06
Posts: 2095
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You should really try to start eating more in the day. Set up a routine. Leaving your system empty promotes spasms and makes things even worse. You need a continual input of food to keep insides calmer. I know it's scary....but you can set up a daily routine and pick foods that are less scary. I have cream of rice and fruit for breakfast, snack on dry cereal, make homemade soups with bread for lunch. If I don't eat anything...I just get more C, more pain, and more trouble.
Just think about it, okay? You could start it on a weekend.
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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It's under IBS diet and recipes. how to eat Specifically, number four under tips and tricks.
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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I haven't eaten in a restaurant or anyone else's cooking in about 4 years.  I miss it...but it produces so much anxiety. I would love to be more socialable. Geez, I have to show up for Christmas after they eat. It's no fun.
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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You're right Jordy and I'm definitely working towards that. When I get my heebie jeebies (anxiety), I get nauseaus and so I don't get an appetite. Like today at 1:30 PM when the nausea finally went away, I ate my Oatmeal Breakfast To Go bar. Now I'm drinking water with Acacia 'til I get home and make dinner. Speaking of which,
I didn't feel like cooking yesterday and so I went to the fast food Chinese place and bought plain old white rice with plain old steamed chicken. It made me gassy and I had a BM and I don't know if my nerves made me do it or what.
What in the name of college football was that all about?
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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Many people cannot tolerate oats...plus, the 2nd ingredient that is listed is high fructose corn syrup. They also contain margarine, whole eggs, and sorbitol! At least the one I looked up did. Look under the ingredients tab in the middle.web page
These ingredients can all cause problems on their own. I personally wouldn't eat this. Just an FYI.
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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Geez, now I'm really confused 'cause I got the Oatmeal Squares from the Brand Name Recommendations for IBS Safe Foods under Breakfast Cereal. Oh shiznit. Unless that means cold cereal. Aaaahhhh!
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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Nope, it meant squares. Here's the nutrition info on the Brown Sugar Flavor:
web page
Oat flour seems to be just ground up oatmeal. Oatmeal is one of those strange foods that are half IF and half SF. Some IBSers do just fine with oatmeal, some don't. Since the oats are ground for oat flour that means the IF is pulverized which increases the chance you'll do okay with it.
I'd worry more about the whole wheat flour - that's very tough for me to handle. Sadly, a few years ago a lot of cereal manufacturers revamped their product lines to include more whole grains which means that a number of cereals that are listed as safe one place or another on this site have been IF-ed. (This drives me crazy by the way. I don't want to have to re-read labels every time I buy a product I've bought a million times before.)
Anyhow, if this was an afternoon snack after eating breakfast and lunch, I'd say it's a good thing to at least try and see how you do with it. The oat flour would provide an SF base along with some well-processed IF and the whole wheat flour would provide the IF that can be hard to get.
However, if this is going to be the first thing you eat after fasting for most of the day, I'd try something else. A great choice would be Heather's Brown Sugar Banana Bread. It's about as safe as you can get, it's very easy to make, and it's delicious. (As I've said before, I do think you'd do much better if you could eat earlier and keep eating throughout the day. I hope you get to the point where you can do that.)
HTH.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Jordy
#313874 - 08/24/07 04:25 PM
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DianeM
Reged: 12/05/06
Posts: 173
Loc: Kentucky
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Wow, how do you manage that? What about vacation, traveling on business, or any extended period away from home. Do you always take your own food?
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irrational or not, I totallly understand where you are coming from. I have to phyc myself up to eat out. I currently only go to japenese restaurants where I get a side order of white rice, miso soup, and one ebi roll. I am super duper watchfull the entire time and if anything seems at all off I do not eat the ebi roll. I occasionally order baked potatoes out, but ask to have them brought to me still wrapped from the oven so I know they didn't put butter on them. I also only eat out when I am having a fantastic day, and have had at least a week of stability. I have learned to relax enough to enjoy myself providing I eat out with people who know about my IBS, we go somewhere I've been before, and everyone knows there is 60% chance they will end up eating my food instead of me, while I make conversation,and have tea. (I probably brought myself) try to eat out though, choose your dinner companions carefully, and remember if you find one good place where there are safe things you will get some confidence, what is important is to let go of the nerves as much as possible, since they can make you more sick then the food! 
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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time
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I follow a limited diet rather like yours, DianeM, except that strawberries give me problems, while kiwi fruit doesn't. I've successfully eaten out a couple of ways: by ordering salmon and baked potato and steamed vegetables, or if I'm part of the planning, I'll suggest a moderately upscale Chinese restaurant, order something made with tofu (soy), and start the meal with a couple of tablespoons of rice. No ice water, no sodas, no coffee, maybe a little bit of Chinese tea if my tummy is very calm. Insist that even if it's your fault for not telling them you don't want ice, that indeed, you can only drink water without ice.
I've been embarassed when a group went out for drinks, and I could only order bottled water, and had to ask which brands were "fizzy" and which were not. "Food allergies" didn't really cover that one.
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Tummyblogger, http://www.formytummy.com
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Thanks Sand. Whew, I tell ya, I don't know what's up from down anymore. I was always an oatmeal in the AM eater. I get the ones in the cups that are instant. Never had a problem. As soon as I read that we shouldn't have instant, I would start feeling weird after eating it 'cause it's now in my head (so I got the bars which don't give me a problem but now that's in my head too. Good God am I becoming a hypochondriac?!) I have a cabinet at work full of these little instant oatmeal packets and cups and now I guess I'll give 'em away and buy the plain noninstant oatmeal with a box of brown sugar and keep that at work.
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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Well, allow me to confuse you further. First, the instant oatmeal will only be a problem if it's flavored with something like dairy. Assuming the flavorings are okay it should be just as tolerable as regular oatmeal and some people say it's more tolerable because apparently the oats are somewhat ground up.
As for the little squares, if they haven't been bothering you then ignore everything I said and keep eating them. Even if you don't want to do that right now, I still say hang onto them in anticipation of the day when your tummy is more settled and they'll make a nice afternoon snack.
Please, please don't become scared of food. I know it's awfully hard not to with IBS and I'm sure the nausea you suffer from makes food even scarier but that way lies madness. Follow Heather's guidelines and be cautious about buffering IF with SF but if something you're eating is working for you, don't let anyone - including me - tell you to stop eating it. I truly believe that obsessing over every bite we put in our mouths can be almost as hard on our tummies as eating Fettucine Alfredo - and not nearly as much fun.
Take care.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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I don't think it's irrational - it took me a long time to feel comfortable about eating out and I still prefer to go to restaurants where I know I can get something safe. A few suggestions:
First, try restaurant eating the first time (or first few times) when you're not in a business situation so if you do get ill you can deal with it more gracefully. That alone would reduce my anxiety.
Second, check out the menu ahead of time if you can. A lot of places have menus on-line or if you're going to try a place where you go for work see if they'll let you take a menu home with you. Then call the restaurant during off-hours and ask questions about any foods that look like they might work - figure out if the food contains dairy, can be altered to suit, and so on.
Third, there are a number of old posts floating around about eating at various restaurants. If you want to eat at a particular place there may be notes about it already on the Board especially if it's a national chain like, say, Chili's. Just do a Search across all Boards with no time limit for whatever restaurant you're interested in.
Here are a couple of old posts about eating at various restaurants:
Lots of restaurants/cuisines
Pizza!
HTH.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Great tips! I also go around collecting menus (or have friends get them for me). Something else that has helped me, is getting take out from restaurants I'd like to actually go to someday. By getting take-out, I can try out different meals to see how they're prepared, eat it at home where I'm close to the bathroom and my meds, and just get used to the idea of eating meals made by someone else. This has really worked out well for me and my BF, who enjoys eating out but also understands my IBS issues. I've now been to those places I've ordered take-out from and it's given me the confidence to try out other restaurants as well.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Thanks Sand. I always get the Maple Brown Sugar flavors and now I see that they have the same flavors in Organic. Man do I miss eating Fettuccine Alfredo. Hmmm, I wonder what it would taste like if made with Soy milk.
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Wendy IBS A thru Z
Taking it one day at a time...
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It won't be too bad! I've made cream sauces with soymilk. The trick is to make a "roux" first. A roux is equal parts flour and usually butter, but I substitute Earth Balance. Gently cook the flour and Earth Balance, slowly add warmed soymilk and stir, stir, stir. You've just created a vegan bechamel sauce. For Alfredo, add some parmesan substitute and there you go! No, it is definitely NOT the Alfredo sauce we know and love, but it will do when a craving hits. My grandmother would be rolling over in her grave if she ever saw me cooking like this!!!! What kind of an Italian am I??!!
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That's funny about the Italian thing. My family is also Italian, and you should have seen my mom's face when I asked if we could substitute ground turkey breast for ground beef in some of her homemade ravioli. You would think I had requested the addition of dirt to the recipe!
The ravioli turned out great, but I think my grandmother is haunting me!
Take Care!
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Eating out has never been so easy for us. Here are a few of my suggestions that have worked with great success over the last 60 days for me! Keep in mind that I have IBS-D and still have slight coloitis from surgery.
1- you probably have anxiety from reations from food. But we all know so much about what we can and can not ever ever eat. good start.
2-if you are lucky enough to be part of the descion making process of where you go for meetings etc- ask to be in charge of making the plans. This way you can call and chit chat about the menu and your "special dietary needs" all while making reservations!
3- choose places that have a varied menu. This will give you a wider range of choices- especially if you have to build your own meal.
4- most places offer low fat options! Fabulous! That's probably where you will find your chicken and fish with a starch and veggie side. Now just order everyting without the sauce. For me- I also have to switch up the veggies- the regular brocoli and squash mixes will put me back on cast away island with Wilson the terrible colon.
5- notice what kind of rolls/bread are being served pre-meal as you are being seated. If it's a white bread variety- eat the MIDDLE out of a couple of pieces prior to eating to pad your stomach. Can't eat the rolls? Ask for a few saltines when you order your beverage or a roll meant for a sandwhich. EVERY place has those.
6- Bring your own crackers, nilla wafers, animal crackers and tea bag of choice with you. Have them while you wait for your food. I have my peppermint tea as we experiment with our eat outings.
7- Don't hassle the waiter. If your ordering becomes too intensive with questions- you're likley not doing your homework. Might be better to let them put in the other parties orders and look for something plain jane quick.
8- My ordering with new guests usually sparks questions- like "Are you on a special diet" Resist sarcasm here. I've learned that saying things like "No- I prefer a bland tastless expensive meal and still staying fat" isn't nice.... This gives me a brief opp to give some education that I have a digestive eating disorder and sometimes food and I don't get along so well.
9- Tip well. They WILL remember you and your special order.
10- If you've made it this far- thanks for reading my personal tips. I hope they help at least one of you. You can't live in fear for your your life. Now go out and embrace it.
Virtual hugs to you all.
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IBS-D, with Coloitis from surgery
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You can make fettuccine alfredo with silken tofu, whirred and spiced in a blender. In fact anything that requires a cream sauce can be made with this (Including quiche-adding soy or LF mayo to make it puff up). Its good and has so far caused me no issues.
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On the saltines #5 I remember Heather Saying they were BAD NEWS! You would think safe but she mentioned they were not. I cant remember why.
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IBS C Mostly .. More stable than ever Since being on the IBS diet! I THANK GOD FOR THIS BOARD! I can alternate to IBS A at times of stress, hormones or anxiety. LACTOSE INTOLERANT
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I eat Those Quaker Oatmeal bars all the time I keep them in the car and in my purse for when I need something quick. I have never had a problem are you having a problem with them BendeeWendee?
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IBS C Mostly .. More stable than ever Since being on the IBS diet! I THANK GOD FOR THIS BOARD! I can alternate to IBS A at times of stress, hormones or anxiety. LACTOSE INTOLERANT
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If your diets still limited I'd recommend the eat for IBS cook book. I'm pretty much safe with everything in there except the annoyingly delicious orange cake. I don't know why I'd thought I'd be safe with a fruit that always caused me problems pre IBS LOL.
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Stable IBS D
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