Deprivation Depression
#306676 - 05/06/07 07:08 PM
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wendyc
Reged: 03/20/06
Posts: 78
Loc: Florida
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This is one of those nights when my IBS(D) has really gotten me down and venting if my only option. How are we supposed to go on living watching every bite that we take knowing that if we don't - we're in pain THEN often being in pain anyways even though we have watched what we've eaten? I went out to a Cinco de Mayo/De La Hoya v Mayweather party with my DH last night. We had JUST arrived and I started feeling that familiar crampy sensation even though I was careful all day (maybe the anxiety of being out caused me the issue - what do you all take for those incidents of anxiety?). I flat out told my DH I had to leave and I'd hopefully be back in a little while (he's incredibly supportive - offered to come with me but I didn't want to ruin his fun!). I cried just bc my stomach so often controls what happens in my life. Yet, I often sabatoge myself and eat things I know I shouldn't with the expected results. I have a little card in my wallet that I read when I want to eat something "bad" to help me not eat it but that doesn't always work. How did you all just up and decide that you weren't going to allow anymore "bad" food to enter your body? How do you do it everyday thinking about the things you're giving up? I know my negative feelings tonight are probably brought on by the fact that I wasn't very "good" with my eating today (happens when I haven't had time to get out to the grocery store) and I'm terrified I might have an attack! What do you do to stay upbeat and motivated? I'm so frustrated with this problem. I thought I dealt with the whole - "I have an incurable illness and will for the rest of my life" nonsense a long time ago (I've been IBS pretty much all my life and I'm 34). Just a bad day I guess. Thanks for listening. 
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IBS-D, Acid Reflux, ???
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Have you tried the IBS hypnosis yet? I find that it helps you to break some negative thinking patterns associated with IBS. If you do decide to give it a try, be aware that since you've had IBS for most of your life, it might take more than 1 or 2 rounds of hypnosis.
One way I decide not to eat things that are bad for me is that I know if I eat it, it's going to cause me a lot of pain later on.
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OH...I hear you. I'm sorry you're feeling so down and out about the IBS. It does seem so unfair, right? When I first started out, believe me...I have NO willpower, but I kept telling myself not to feel sorry for myself b/c of what I have to give up b/c there are diabetics out there who cannot eat so many treats (that I still can) for more serious reasons (they could get REALLY ill instead of just feeling really ill and being stuck in a bathroom). That perspective helped a little when I was feeling "pissed off" (sorry...but that's the best way to put it  ).
A couple of things came to mind reading your post. The anxiety thing...it totally sounds like me when I enter a new situation like a gathering where I feel sort of "trapped" and not in control should I have a bathroom problem. I really suggest you try the hypno but also speak to your doctor about anxiety meds. The hypno will be long-lasting (I am one of those who probably could use another round but the one round did help some..it certainly can't hurt). And the meds...even if temporary...can help you with the anxiety-induced attacks while you stabalize based on the diet. When did you start following this diet?
The good news is that once you are stable (I'm not saying you can constantly cheat so please don't attack me everyone!), those foods that you desparately crave may be tolerable in just small quantities after a safe day or a couple of times/week. For example, a few bites of cake after a safe dinner or one "regular" cookie if you are out. I know that if I get too comfortable and do this too often, my body will tell me ....not by attacks...but just feeling a bit uneasy and then I remind myself that yes, this is a lifelong incurable thing. The problem now sounds like you are not yet stable and eating unsafe foods here and there is going to prolong that process. It is VERY difficult psychologically, I know, especially when you don't feel immediate results, but trust all the success stories from people on this board who have stuck it out.
Have you tried the acacia? And are you definitely avoiding coffee? I found that my biggest trigger and now I drink Soyfee with acacia in it in the morning...then have some oatmeal...what a difference in my mornings...360 degrees from when I used to have d and cramping, nervousness, etc. after breakfast, afraid to go out.
Don't give up and YES...FEEL FREE TO VENT WHENEVER AND ABOUT WHATEVER...I know for me it was helpful to vent (and I still do!) and just get some encouragement during the process from people who have been there and can totally empathise (sp?). I finally feel like I can do the everyday type things...never mind the big stuff which I have set goals for....without my d interfering and my anxiety incapacitating my every move. I wish the same for you.
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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Wow - thanks for that post. I sat down at the computer hoping someone would help improve my Monday (is that possible?). Your post sounds so optimistic! I found Heather's book and website about a year ago. Since then, I've had periods of stability but no LONG TERM (mainly bc of the willpower issue!). I've tried acacia and it just didn't agree with me (I was taking as little as 1/4tsp for about 2 wks and it still made me INCREDIBLY gassy and my stools were hard and pebbly making for ver uncomfortable evacuations). I find I have a BM most days without the fiber as long as I watch my IF and SF. I don't drink coffee - just don't like it. My biggest potential trigger is diet sprite. I drink it every day. Sometimes tea and water just doesn't do it. I know I need to eliminate it and I will. I'm anxious also bc my DH and I are going on a cruise in July for my 35th bday and I don't want my IBS to ruin it. I'm calling a gastro today for an appt and just getting to the bottom of the need for a anti anxiety med as well as something for the cramps (as needed) and pain (as needed). Just to get me over the hump. I know the best thing I can do for myself is to simply avoid the triggers! I just have to do better. Thanks again for the support - no one can understand the way you all do! 
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IBS-D, Acid Reflux, ???
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Oh Geez, yes!!!Thanks for bringing this up. My depression has gotten really bad...and obsessing and reading and analysing every food item I buy is driving me nuts. It makes me cry...Always having to say no when my coworkers want to go someplace "unsafe" to eat or bring in treats or we have a pizza party at work. It is very depressing.
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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You can get really frustrated when you try your best to behave and cut out all kinds of yummy stuff and still have some problems.
But for me, I just made the decision to do whatever I could to minimize the risk of problems and it has been far easier than I thought it would be. I used to eat loads of chocolate and candy et.c. and I thought it would be really hard to give it up. But guess what? It wasn't. Once I had made it through the first few weeks I didn't crave it anymore.
One thing here that I think is essential is the whole substitution - not deprivation - thing. You have to find yummy things to eat that are IBS safe. Ok, so in the beginning when you're used to fatty things, the new stuff *might* not taste as good as the things you're used to eating. But after a while your body and taste buds adjust. I swear to you now - I don't ever want to have a fatty pizza again. And candy? Well, yes I do feel I'd like to have some sometimes but I don't crave it. Not at all. Instead I indulge in my IBS safe treats.
Giving up the fast-and-easy types of food and the candy and other store-bought fatty treats has also meant for me that I probably eat far better now nutrition wise. Since I can't just have a bag of candy I have to find something else when I am hungry and that typically means that I make something far more healthy instead. (I am lazy - so it's no wonder I ate a lot of candy et.c. instead of proper snacks before.)
Have you tried the dessert recipes? Start with one that is really low fat. The peppermint fudge cake is really easy to make and yummy and you can eat it on an empty stomach hopefully.
Good luck!
/Ulrika, IBS-D
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Hi Wendy-I just wanted to say that it took me a long time to figure out my food sensitivities. I can't eat anything with onions or garlic in it (those were my first IBS triggers). It started when I was 30, and I carried a bottle of Pepto Bismol with me everywhere for 2 years!
I learned that I couldn't eat in restaurants--it just wasn't worth it--unless I just have dessert and tea.
In the long run, the limited diet choices have been beneficial for me. I'm now 57, my weight is still good (135), blood pressure good, etc. due to the fact that I'm forced to eat more healthy foods and less quantity.
Sounds like you are gradually sorting things out for yourself, but remember, these things take TIME. Don't feel guilty about bad food choices--it happens--and you'll get better at "standing firm" with the right choices over time.
C
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I totally understand what you are going through. How am I dealing with it? I have been miserable lately!!! I am engaged and to be married in August this year and my health has been horrible the past 6 months. I am having a very hard time dealing with all that goes with it. Tired of missing out on fun things, tired of not eating what I cook for everyone else, just plain tired of feeling like crap. I wish I had more advice for you but I'm trying to pull myself up yet so I don't drive my poor fiancee away, he has been supportive but I feel so alone with this most of the time I just want to run away and hide. Maybe we can help each other a little. I know finding this site has helped, I finally feel like someone understands and I'm not hearing I should just get over it it's not a big deal. Hang in there and you can email me if you want.
Christina
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Wendy,
The key, for me, was committing to the diet whole-heartedly and cutting out ALL possible triggers. Every single one of them. The first few weeks really really sucked. I was angry, but I was tired of my stomach and its issues dictating my life. That was last October, and I had been consistently sick since January of last year. By the end of December -- so 2 whole months? -- I was no longer getting sick. I have had only three IBS attacks since I started, so only three in 6.5 months. Two of them were from lettuce, which I just have to give up on (which is okay, because, really, it's just lettuce).
When I started out, I kept thinking that if I could get stable, I could try some of those things I'd cut out again. For the most part, I haven't. I've found that the restrictions of IBS triggers and actual lactose intolerance have made me a much more creative cook. I make sure to cook extra food each weekend so I'm not tempted to go grab something expensive and unhealthy at lunch. My food tastes way better anyway.
I've found snacks and meals that I love. I can occasionally indulge in a higher fat food or a small glass of wine with dinner, but I've given up meat, caffeine, and dairy. And honestly, I don't miss them. I also don't miss being sick.
Recommit yourself to it for you -- so that you can feel healthy and do things in your life. Use whatever resources you need to keep on track. You will enjoy the cruise and the wedding and daily life so much better and you deserve to.
Peace and strength.
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IBS-C, D and nausea with acute attacks, stable on EFI for 3 years
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Hi Wendy,
I'm coping by learning to cook, and by finding things I really like that I can eat, But I feel like you do alot, I get paranoid about leaving home, worried about food, and then I go and bake myself biscoti and angel food cake, or I try doing some excercise, belly dance yoga, and most importantly I just say there are things that I'll never be able to do and focus on the things I can.
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ibc a but c predominent doing hypnotherapy and taking it one day at a time
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I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. First off, it sounds like you really need to get control of the depression/anxiety. If you're not on AD's or some other medication, check into it. The hypnotherapy available here has worked wonders for some!
You have GOT to get rid of the Diet Sprite. Until you get rid of all the triggers, you CAN'T feel better. It took me a long time to get over watching people eat/drink what I wanted. I avoided going out for awhile to avoid dealing with the sadness and anger and self-pity. I have to tell you though...the longer I am without these food/drinks, the less I crave them. It may take you months to get rid of certain cravings but once they're out of your system (and NO cheating or you will start at the drawing board) you will "need" them less and less. Really.
And like some others have stated...this is not a life-sentence. That's the way I looked at it. I thought, I'd never be able to eat anything I wanted again. What I didn't understand was that once I got myself stable, there are some foods/drinks that simply wouldn't be a problem for me anymore.
You just need to decide if it's worth it to cheat. It is worth it for the taste in your mouth for a few minutes? For me, I got to the point that food equaled pain/misery/depression. If eating those foods are keeping you in the house, away from people, are causing you pain, or embarrassment, is it worth it? If not, you've just got to put your foot down and give this a real try. And the next time you want to pick up that Diet Sprite, do a little visualization. Picture yourself getting a swift punch in the tummy and sitting on the toilet for an hour while hubby or good friend is waiting for you. How's that for "inspiration"?
Seriously...I know how you feel, as do many people on this site. But now that I'm stable, I can look back more objectively and can wonder why I had such a hard time giving some things up. It's hard. It's always hard to give up the things you love but if you're living in misery...it's time for them to go. And maybe, just maybe someday, you can have a little again. And then again, maybe you won't want to because you feel so great!!!
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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I can definitely relate about the "going out" thing. At first, just stepping into a restaurant would cause an attack. Then I started ADs, seeing a therapist, and doing the hypno. I've gotten to the point where I can enjoy going to a restaurant again! I still have some lingering anxiety about going to other people's houses, but I'm working on it.
I don't feel deprived at all. I missed cheese for a long time, but I've gotten over it. I'm practically vegan except for the occasional seafood or egg white. I'm SO much healthier now than I've ever been. And there are SO MANY delicious IBS-safe treats and desserts out there - it's sometimes a battle to determine which one to make! They're all so yummy!! And friends just marvel at my baking skills.
Give it time, but DEFINITELY get the depression and anxiety under control. If you decide to try anti-depressants and/or anti-anxiety meds, you really should complement that with seeing a therapist; you'll make a lot more progress that way than with just the meds alone.
Hang in there!
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Lisa, IBS-C (Vegan)
Stable since July 2007!
Mommy to Rhiannon Marie (Dec. 13, 2008)
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question
#306760 - 05/07/07 06:21 PM
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Jordy
Reged: 08/12/06
Posts: 2095
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Is this way of eating helping you? That would make it a lot easier to follow. 
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IBS-C with pain and bloat
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Sorry you are feeling so down. IBS can really be a pain in the butt sometimes...literally!! For me, to remain upbeat and positive I try to keep telling myself that it could be worse...one of my children could have a terminal illness, I could get cancer and leave my children motherless, my husband could be killed, etc.... I know dealing with the depprivation issue is hard. You always feel like you're left out, with nothing good to eat. I love to cook, so I always am making safe, yummy things that I can grab quickly when I get a craving. One thing that really helps is to get the "bad" stuff out of the house! If your home is filled with safe food items, it will be easier to make better choices. I keep pretzels in the car just in case I am out and about and get starving. I bake a lot, and I freeze portion-sized pieces so I can grab one in a hurry. Low-fat poptarts (brown sugar & cinnamon) are really a life saver. Sweet cereals too!
I try not to think about it too much, about what I am missing out on. I know it does get depressing. I hope you are feeling better soon!
MeiMei
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