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One more thing, do you own a pet? There is nothing like the feeling of love and peace that a pet can bring you. I have 6 in-house cats and a shih-tzu who is the real boss.
But they always know when I am not feeling so hot, they just have some kind of emotional barometer that can sense this. Several will lie by my feet, climb in my lap and their purring and sweet gentle look into my eyes is very, very soothing. I have fallen asleep many times with them.
Just petting them will slow down my edge and in turn, they have a loving home in which to stay. It's a win/win situation.
And your pet could be anything. If I didn't have cats, I would definitely have birds of all kinds.
Virag
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in asking yourself why you come to this board or any healthboard. We are social animals to begin with and seek out others whether family,friends nearby or online, when we have problems. I understand that there are those who stay online far too long, who belong to many boards and spend hours posting. It's at that point that the focusing on the particular person's problem becomes out of control.
With IBS it is necessary however to pay attention to what we ate, what we plan to eat, how we react to those foods, etc. and keeping a journal especially in the first few months. I do not see this focusing as harmful but important to be in control and not let it control you. So moderation in all things whether dealing with IBS or something else.
Virag
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I wasn't at all thinking of leaving. I am still in need of the wonderful support and ideas that I get here and I do truly feel great when I can offer suggestions to others knowing that I completely empathize and understand what they are going through. It was just an interesting idea about how when you focus on something, even when you are focusing on how to improve it, that may keep the idea of it in the forefront of your mind. I'm sure you all see what I am saying. The book does advocate helping others and giving from the heart. I did often wonder why people who are stable still stick around, but after being here I presume all the reasons that you all have said...social interaction, ideas, recipes, providing guidance for newbies, and most of all for me it is a place where I feel so comforted to know that I am not the "only one" with this problem and all the physical and emotional ties that go with it. The secret could be discussed for hours, as it plays into different aspects of our lives, not just health, but I was curious to get a few viewpoints from people here. 
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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I see your location is Jersey. I am born and raised there, New Brunswick, home of Rutgers in Middlesex County. We moved down to Florida in 1993 and have been back only once. I miss it to be sure but it's too expensive to own a home there these days. I sure was shocked to read that Jersey's property taxes are the highest in the nation.
But I will always consider myself a Jersey girl no matter what....Virag:)
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yeah I have an adopted cat I do like cuddles. Once I was sick and fluffy came and tucked his head under my chin awww lol my uncle has a westie puppy too she brings me joy and a bit of fun cos fluffy's old so he's more of a laid back chap.
But yeah animals are great
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Hey...I don't live far from there. I have stayed on the Rutgers campus myself numerous time for summer camps. Yes...terribly high taxes!!! My sister-in-law moved to Florida and my other in-laws to SC b/c of that and the cost of a home. But we're staying put for now. Most of my family is here and we live in a great neighborhood. Nothing like a "Jersey Girl" as Bruce would put it. 
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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Quote:
Also, according to the secret, even being on these boards is keeping the "thoughts" of IBS in our minds, thus the universe will continue to give us IBS related things to be concerned about. Can anyone else shed some light on what they think about this?
I do think there's some validity to the idea that continuing to be on the IBS Boards can reinforce someone's conviction that "I have IBS" and because there is often a psychological component to IBS that conviction can trigger attacks. On the other hand, the message of the Boards is that IBS can be managed successfully which works on the other side providing a continuing infusion of confidence. Which side weighs more heavily depends on what an individual needs at a given time so it varies from person to person and over time for each person. In other words, when it's time to leave the Boards, you'll know it.
Now I have some stuff to say about "The Secret" - or at least the idea of it - and if you're someone who thinks very highly of this book, you probably want to skip the rest of this post.
Disclosure. I haven't read the book. But one of the interesting things about getting old(er) is seeing the same ideas come around again and again. So here's what I think about the whole Ask-Believe-Receive thing, aka The Power of Positive Thinking, aka Visualization, aka New Thought, aka The Mental Cure, aka The Science of Getting Rich, aka whatever. (I'm not actually old enough to have seen all of these personally.)
First, some areas are more under your mental control than others. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be" and I think that's often true. So if the message of The Secret is that you should count your blessings rather than always focusing on what you don't have and you should be open to opportunities to make your life better and you should think about what you really want out of life and go after it, I'm all for it. If the message is that you can make a parking space appear by believing it will, then I don't buy it.
Second, even in areas that are not under your direct mental control, the idea of Positive Thinking can be helpful. For example, if you believe you will be cured of cancer simply by believing you will be, you're toast. However, if you believe you will be cured of cancer by getting it treated, you may be more likely to see the doctor, do the tests, get the diagnosis, do the chemo, show up for your follow-ups, and so on than you would be if you figured your situation was hopeless. Less dramatically, if you believe you can lose weight, be rich, have friends, fall in love, you're more likely to take the actions that will lead to those outcomes than you would be if you simply accepted you'd always be overweight, poor, friendless, and unloved. (As a counterpoint to this, I'll point out that I personally am practically off the charts on the Pessimism scale but I have never missed a test, treatment, or doctor's appointment during my cancer treatments or in the follow-ups over the years.)
Third, there are illnesses where Positive Thinking may help apart from inspiring positive action and IBS is one of them. My IBS is not primarily emotionally driven but there is an emotional component. If I eat "wrong" I'm going to have IBS attacks even if I spend my whole life at home doing yoga, Tai Chi, and meditation in total peace. If I eat "right", I can still have IBS attacks when I'm stressed but even then they're far less severe. Since the stress that triggers my attacks is stress over having an attack, this is a case where worrying about having an attack is likely to give me exactly what I fear.
Fourth - and this is where I start to froth at the mouth - the type of thinking in "The Secret" and the dozens of other Positive Thinking self-help books like it is extremely dangerous because the inescapable end result of it is "you get what you deserve", also known as "blame the victim". Poor? It's not because you were born with a learning disability to a family too poor to get you tested and you went through an underfunded school system that couldn't help you; it's because you attract povery. Sick? It's not germs or genetics or random chance; it's because you attract illness. Read a few stories about cancer patients who turn to Positive Visualization and don't get better and blame themselves for the fact that they're going to die because they have "bad thoughts" and suddenly these books don't look so benign. Rape, murder, incest, torture, genocide, terrorism? Hey, you get what you deserve. And even if you buy the idea of Ask-Believe-Receive for adults, none of these books seem to talk about children who suffer. Sheds a whole new light on the subject, doesn't it?
It's human nature to want to believe that we have control. Children in dysfunctional families will believe - truly believe - that they have done something bad to make Mommy drink or Daddy drug because then those children can believe that if they are "better" Mommy and Daddy will be better - and feeling guilty about being bad is better than feeling out of control. But the simple truth is there's a limit to what we can control, bad things do happen to good people, and we're not all going to be rich, thin, beautiful, and forever healthy. I don't think it's a coincidence that Rhonda Byrne came up with "The Secret" after her father died.
If ideas like those in "The Secret" inspire people to try to make - not wish - their lives more what they want them to be, I think that's great. But I'd make sure my bookmark for "The Secret" has the Serenity Prayer printed on it.
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
Illness As Metaphor by Susan Sontag
A truly brutal review of "The Secret" - This is painfully slow-loading but the discussion with Byrne about Rwanda (page 3) is blood-chilling
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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It's easily the best I've read anywhere regarding not only the book but the subject matter. I still have my dogeared copy of Peale's Power of, etc.. my mother gave me when I married at 18! I still have it only because she signed it so long ago. Somehow I never could manage to apply a theory that was okay in practice but failed in reality, at least my reality.
Virag:)
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Sand,
Thanks for summarizing your thoughts and insights on "The Secret". I'm grateful that you were able to share, what I feel, is a very clear understanding of how "the law of attraction" or the other titles this has had over the years, works. I completely agree with many of your points and want to thank you for being open to share what you've learned from your own life experience AND you shared it so clearly, intelligently and thoughtfully.
You are so right. It takes courage, willingness and a commitment to move from ones good intentions into action steps. The action steps are the "doing" and are necessary in order to reach our bigger agenda of who we are "being" in the process. That's where the treasure is!
As a Life Coach I know there are many pieces of the life puzzle that need attention in order for someone to have all they want for themselves; positive thinking alone will not get the job done.... but you know that
Best,
Alicia
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Quote:
So if the message of The Secret is that you should count your blessings rather than always focusing on what you don't have and you should be open to opportunities to make your life better and you should think about what you really want out of life and go after it, I'm all for it.
In my opinion, you hit the nail on the head with this one. I've seen the DVD and I think that this is the point of it. Figure out what you want, go get it, be open to anything that helps you get there.
However, I also agree, and have thought what you said nearly verbatim, that there are many circumstances in this world that no amount of positive thinking on the part of the effected will change.
Quote:
the type of thinking in "The Secret" and the dozens of other Positive Thinking self-help books like it is extremely dangerous because the inescapable end result of it is "you get what you deserve", also known as "blame the victim". Poor? It's not because you were born with a learning disability to a family too poor to get you tested and you went through an underfunded school system that couldn't help you; it's because you attract povery. Sick? It's not germs or genetics or random chance; it's because you attract illness. Read a few stories about cancer patients who turn to Positive Visualization and don't get better and blame themselves for the fact that they're going to die because they have "bad thoughts" and suddenly these books don't look so benign. Rape, murder, incest, torture, genocide, terrorism? Hey, you get what you deserve. And even if you buy the idea of Ask-Believe-Receive for adults, none of these books seem to talk about children who suffer. Sheds a whole new light on the subject, doesn't it?
I think, and I knew this about myself from a young age, that inaction changes nothing. If you don't like a situation, do everything in your power to make it what you want. And when you do everything you can, if it doesn't work and you're no better off, don't blame yourself. Put faith in a greater plan. Maybe there is one, maybe there isn't, I don't know. For some, that power is God, for others their family, for others it might be justice or universal balance or anything that is enjoyable, from religion to potato chips. It really doesn't matter what a person uses. But that faith helps people to understand why things happen.
I do agree unconditionally with one point that these people, the teachers of "The Secret" make. Life is meant to be joyous. And there is enough of everything to go around.
Whatever makes you happy, and doesn't hurt someone else, go for it. We could all bite it tomorrow for all we know. The sun could burn out. Natural disasters, disease, famine, hell even going for a car ride has no guarantees.
My point, now that I have gone off on this rant is:
DON'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW!
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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