Just a quick vent
#294050 - 12/18/06 10:01 AM
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line415
Reged: 09/09/06
Posts: 976
Loc: New Jersey
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I just need to vent about a set-back I had this morning. I'm assuming it was completely stress related. I'm not even going to bother worrying about what I ate yesterday b/c I have been known to send myself into a tizzy over IBS. I volunteered (yes, am I crazy?) as a mother's helper for my son's school activities this morning. I did make myself an "extra", thinking that I would feel less anxiety if they weren't counting on me. I had to leave early anyway to watch my daughter.
Anyhow, I woke up (like Mike Mahoney says on the hypno) thinking about my IBS right away and trying to block it out. I didn't have a BM yesterday so that's why I started thinking, "oh..what if I have a problem now today." So I had a bm before breakfast (not a good sign), took my acacia with oatmeal and went a few more times. I was determined to avoid immodium b/c I really wanted to see if I could get through with just letting the Acacia do it's job and learning how to calm myself down. Well, I left the house with my son only to have to stop at a port-a-potty down the road from us. What on earth will I do when they stop doing construction in my neighborhood?! 
So that was it. Once I got to school and got involved in everything I felt much better and didn't have to go anymore. My belly feels a little beat up right now but I ate a safe lunch and I should be okay. I'm trying to see this as a success (in some backwards way). In the past I would have had to take like 3 immodium to make it stop and I would have been in more pain. So that's my story...just wanted to share. I hate when things like this happen. I can't help thinking that I don't want to be a disappointment to my children b/c of my IBS. My son would have been so sad if I hadn't stayed (5 year old). Anyhow, thanks for listening to my vent.
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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See, I totally see this as a success. I think the fact that you were worried and yet did what you said you were going to anyway is a HUGE step in learning how to cope day-to-day with IBS.  Having to stop at a porta-potty and the anxiety and everything else is almost irrelevant, because you did it. Somewhere in your head you said, you know, IBS IS NOT GONNA STOP ME... and it didn't!
I know it's easy to get discouraged when you're still having symptoms, and still trapped in a cycle of constantly thinking and worrying and then triggering yourself - been there, done that, so many times - but do try to make yourself see the baby (and not so baby!) steps you're making. I mean, I think this -
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Once I got to school and got involved in everything I felt much better and didn't have to go anymore. My belly feels a little beat up right now but I ate a safe lunch and I should be okay
- is absolutely awesome. You managed to keep your attack from getting any worse by diving in and doing things. You also know that you'll be okay. That's huge!
Sorry to go on and ramble about it, but hopefully you're smiling now (or, at least, not wanting to stuff a cork in my mouth - haha). I don't think you need to worry about being a disappointment to your children because of IBS. You're well on your way to managing it just fine.
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PS
#294062 - 12/18/06 01:33 PM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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Vent away, of course! That's what we're here for, among other things. And I hope you feel better now! I find there's nothing better than a heating pad for that beat-up-belly feeling, so hopefully the kids let you get a few minutes of relaxation in. 
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This totally doesn't sound like a vent to me -- I agree that this sounds like a good success!
See, I'm not stable yet at all. BUT I can plan ahead and make (most) things workable for me, which I see as a sign that *I* am winning -- not the IBS.
Stress is a horrid trigger. I'm going to start the hypno tapes right after Christmas (don't want to get off schedule right at the beginning!) and hope they help.
Congrats on this victory, though!
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IBS-C, D and nausea with acute attacks, stable on EFI for 3 years
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Thank you. I guess it's hard to see it as a success when I just want to be "normal" and not get worried about something seemingly so trivial to the common person. Hearing that fellow sufferers view it as me being more in control does help. I suppose if I had taken immodium as a preventative, I might have been even better, but I just want to get out of that vicious cycle. I'm realizing that my anxiety is less now when I know there is a bathroom that I can run to kind of indiscreetly (the other day I went to a b-day party at a party place feeling a little uneasy but I knew it would be crowded and I could quietly sneak out without being noticed). My anxiety is when I feel "trapped"...almost a clostrophobic type of feeling like I'm stuck somewhere and getting away to use the bathroom will make me stand out or ruin the event. And it's not just once as you know with IBS...I could fake needing to "pee" once or even saying I have my period (I use that one all the time!), but needing to "run right back" is the embarrassing part. Never mind the pain. Well, I'm rambling on. Maybe I don't sound upbeat but I am feeling better after reading your responses. Just a little down that I couldn't do it attack free. I guess these things don't happen overnight. Thank you for your support.
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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I agree with what atomic rose said. Also, now you have a precedent for being able to stop an attack. So the next time you are in a similar situation, you can remind yourself of this success, instead of thinking about all the previous times things have gone wrong. It sounds like you're making good progress. 
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-Carol
IBS-A
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I hate that, too -- the sneaking out. I hate being the Sally (Meg Ryan's character who was picky in When Harry Met Sally) in restaurants. I don't want people to notice that about me.
But this summer, I went to a conference where I had to share a room with someone I didn't know all that well. I did okay, except for one attack that kept me up nearly all night. I HATED having to do that with an "audience," but my roommate was very cool about it -- sympathetic. So I got to experience an amazing conference, in BOSTON, and dealt with the IBS (which was still undiagnosed then). I try to remember that when I get nervous. It helps keep the stomach stress down to a manageable roar -- like you managed.
Isn't that part of the hypno programming (haven't started yet) -- reprogramming your negative thought patterns?
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IBS-C, D and nausea with acute attacks, stable on EFI for 3 years
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I totally agree with Casey! It IS a success! Yeah, it may have not been great, but it's not as bad as it used to be. It WILL get better.
So, you started the hypno? I'll have to look around and see if you posted about it already. Sometimes I don't get back here for a few days, and I get lost!
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I am so glad that you are making progress. It is a huge success that you did not need to take 3 Immodium to stop your D and still managed to stay with your son at school. You should be proud of yourself!
Also, the hypno CD's are so great and they are helping me more and more everyday. I am glad to hear that they are helping you too.
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Melissa and Raksasi....in regards to the hypno, I am at the earliest part, just day 8. I posted on the hypno board b/c I was concerned about my "mind straying" shall we call it. Anyway, I am hopeful that once I get further along, it will help. And Melissa...you were my deciding factor in buying it (although now it is on sale for $10 cheaper! ). Thanks for the support.
Just wondering, would any of you suggest taking the preventative immodium for another case like this or is the idea to "try to learn to work through it"? I sometimes feel like I "failed" if I take the immodium, but then I am more assured of a less stressful time. On the other hand, if I keep doing that, will I ever "know" whether I would have been okay without it? What do most people do when they are stabalizing (with or without the hypno)?
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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This is maybe not a direct answer to your question, but it's the way I approach "working through it", and I thought it might help.
It's not a win/lose, succeed/fail proposition. It's more like practicing a musical instrument to learn a new piece. You do it regularly, getting better at it over time until you get to the point where you play beautifully. Some days you may need to use the metronome or tap your foot or even count out loud, sometimes you might simply have an off day and not play very well at all. But you're still making progress nonetheless. Half the battle is just keeping up with the regular practice, no matter the obstacles that appear. There's a period of time during which the point isn't to play that piece perfectly, it's to practice that piece. If you just stick with it, you will arrive at the day you sit down and play that piece beautifully, with no mistakes, and you're having fun doing it.
I hope that makes sense and is helpful.
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-Carol
IBS-A
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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I wanted to respond to your statement that you feel like a "failure" if you take the Immodium. I went through this several times concerning different medications for ibs and my anxiety problems. I finally realized that if I had high blood pressure, diabetes, or any other chronic condition, I would take medication without any "shame" or "feelings of failure". We have a true disorder that sometimes requires medications to control so that we can have a full life. Please do whatever it takes for you to continue to be a big part of your son's and your own life and don't think twice about the diet and medications needed to achieve that.
Christy
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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I don't know. I think the answer is like your approach to managing IBS -- it depends on you. I don't think that taking drugs to help you cope is "failing." Relying on drugs to "solve" the problem, without making the lifestyle and mental changes that will help you cope -- that would be failing. You are learning to manage your life and your body with IBS. In this case, you knew (somehow) that you could cope with this -- the stress and all -- without the drugs, and you succeeded. Other times, you may need the pharmaceutical help.
To me, the point isn't that you took the immodium or didn't. The point is that you went and participated in an event that stressed you out some -- but you did it anyway and coped with your body as well as you could.
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IBS-C, D and nausea with acute attacks, stable on EFI for 3 years
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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Don't feel bad...the price went down $10-$20 a week or two right after I bought it! And stayed down! It must be a sign that it will work very well for you also!
If you feel you still need to take an imodium, then do it. I didn't stop right away, especially with certain situations. You do what you need to do. Eventually as you get more confident, try doing it without and you kinda "train" yourself to not depend on it. At least that's what worked for me. 
I'm so glad I could help you decide to try hypno! I'll have to go back later and read the hypno boards to see how you're doing...right now gotta get ready for work! 
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Melissa
#294281 - 12/21/06 07:48 AM
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line415
Reged: 09/09/06
Posts: 976
Loc: New Jersey
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Thanks. I haven't posted much on the hypno board. Mostly I'm struggling with trying to "relax"...it's very early on, but a few days were great...I fell asleep within a little while. Other days, my mind is racing (as usual) and I am fighting those thoughts so that I can benefit from Mike's messages. Plus, you'll read about a few sleeping arrangments that are driving me nuts (ie., my husband!...tosses and turns, snores...I love him but!! ) So no changes yet at least that I'm aware of. Plus this holiday season has been crazy so after the new year hopefully the hypno will kick in with some calmer times. Thanks for the advice about the immodium. I have THREE family gatherings this weekend so I'm probably going to need it!!
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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