scared and tired
#282339 - 09/15/06 06:05 AM
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sophiejay
Reged: 07/26/06
Posts: 74
Loc: England
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hi i m feeling the need to talk to people who actually get where im coming from, my stomach is ok today but i just had a really bad week and a half of stomach upsets and irregular bms im now getting back on track, but my dad sees my laying in bed because i cant really do much else when i'm C he sees it as me being lazy or not pushing myself hard enough! We had a huge fight about it because i cant get a job as i throw up after i eat most things because of my reflux and my ibs means i cant leave the house some days if its bad. Im sticking to heathers diet and im slowly improving at least. But now my therapist wants me to go to a group meeting for anxiety but im petrefied!! i just wish i was normal i've lost all my friends cause they have grown up and moved on in their lives and i've just stayed where i am , i mean im slowly getting better, but i feel sooo alone! It a real comfort to know that there are other just like me, feeling what i'm feeling, i just wish i wasn't so scared all the time. Going out into the world terifies me because i've been inside for so long, i mean i way better now than i was say two years ago, but i had to drop out of school and now i dont really fit in any where. I guess i just needed to moan about it but please tell me im not the only one like this! Thanks againxxxx
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Hello,
You are not alone! I can totally understand everything that you are saying. Personally, I think it is important to be around people who understand and support you. that is very important to anyone in life.
I can relate as I had to leave my beautiful job that I loved of 14 years when my IBS started acting up about 7 years ago. (Maybe longer) I thought that I was dying - I have the C that alternates, and I never fully empty alot of times. Well, it took sooo long to see a specialist and finally be told after numerous tests that I was not dying of anything but had to live with this IBS condition. I react horribly to medications so mine is controlled (not at the moment) by diet and lifestyle. I have always taken extrememly good care of myself - never eaten alot of fats, dairy or meat and yet boom this hit me. I could not understand, needless to say, life goes on and I try to be prayerful and peaceful and adjust my lifestyle and diet accordingly.
Yes, it has taken a tole on my life - no doubt about it but it has also given me insight into the aspects of physical suffering that I may never have known before and this helps me to be a more compassionate insightful person.
My husband does not understand most of what I go through but I have asked him not to verbally say sharp comments to me when I cannot carry on my lifestyle as ususal. Yes, I think it is a common unfortunate thing that other people will say things such as "lazy". I personally think that we are all very very strong and amazing people to live with this ungoing condition.
You are strong and amazing. Try and fill your life with some comfort things and things that draw your attention away from IBS. this is of course all my personal outlook.
Please know that you are not alone and I understand all that you go through. You have things to offer to ther people - even if it is a smile and an ear to listen to them.
Take care, Debbie, Ontario, Canada
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you really should ask your doc about AD's, for me they were the last piece of the puzzle that lets me get on =with my life and not be paralyzed by my qanxiety and ocd, and helps me to deal with my tummy issues better, i don't usually advocate a drug as the answer bit for me it has made all the difference, i was on them for 10 years, first given one at age 14 for these issues, then i tried 2 years of natural treatments, i tried everything and spiralled down to a really bad place and now back on them i am getting back to normal, how good it feels. So it may be an option for you, hopefully you can be on them short term, but as i have found out for myself i have a chemical imbalance that i need to keep balanced, so i am stuck on them. Try to have a good talk with your dad, he needs to understand what is going on and that you want to do the things you used to but that right now it is hard, but you also have to show him that you are willing to make the efforts to overcome this too.
Good luck
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thankyou soooo much!That was all I needed, some one who gets what i go through, i am also C but i alternate depending on what i've eaten or if i'm stressed, thank you for putting it into perspective for me debbie, its very much appreciated. I hope you are doing ok and thankyou againxx
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I am on ADs for my panick attacks and anxiety, but most of my anxiety is from childhood problems as well as IBS so im seeing a counselour but I'm just paranoid about mixing with other people in general so hopefully going to group therapy wil help me thanks againxx
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I really encourage group therapy. I have severe depression,anxiety,etc where at one point I wouldn't leave the house except when it was a must. Now I'm in school,dating so on. Its a push every day even when I'm feeling physically and mentally down but I force myself. Group therapy is a great start because everyone there will have similar issues and are not judgmental.I'm on meds too and they can really assist but a lot comes from within and working through the fears. I know the physical part is ruff too cause I too am c but may have another medical issue. I hope you find what works for you.Also when your ready taking classes can also be a good way to meet people.Hang in there.
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Perhaps if your anxiety and panic attacks are not under control, you should try a different AD? It also sounds like you have depression issues that need to be addressed. Maybe one AD won't do it; I have a friend who actually needed a combination of two different ADs in order to find her balance. But I agree that therapy/counseling is a great way to go; that and the ADs together should help a lot.
I also think you need to have a heart to heart with your dad. Explain to him what you're going through. I remember someone posting a link to a brochure that you can print out and give to family members to help them understand what you're going through. Anyone know where that is?
I have also been there; several months ago I was so depressed and cried all the time. I missed quite a bit of work. But these message boards, the diet, and the ADs have really helped me turn things around. I also have a supportive husband. I think getting your dad to understand IBS is very important for you feeling better about yourself!
Good luck!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lisa, IBS-C (Vegan)
Stable since July 2007!
Mommy to Rhiannon Marie (Dec. 13, 2008)
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Hang in there. I always felt alone too until I found this website a week ago. It hasn't been long enough to say if I'm improving yet, but I completely understand how the physical piece of this disease completely makes you paranoid and anxious as well as depressed. Never mind adding other issues to your life which might make you depressed or anxious. Perhaps you could ask your dad to come to a meeting or to even read a bunch of testimonials from these posts. My husband is finally starting to understand a bit (after 9 years!) but no one really gets it unless you go through it. It reduces my anxiety when i am around people who are supportive so it is essential that your dad take you seriously and provide comfort when you need to go out (for example, I will often make my husband promise to pull over if I need to go, or cover for me in a social situation). Take one day at a time and try not to get overwhelmed by the whole picture. I can completely empathize with you so hang in there!
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Originally IBS-D for a million years!
Then IBS-A, Now a transformed slightly C
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Sophie
#282430 - 09/15/06 01:32 PM
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susieannah
Reged: 02/13/05
Posts: 177
Loc: sussex, england
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Hi Sophie,
I totally understand where your coming from my IBS started when I was 12 and at school, obviously I had a lot of time off school and then when I went to college had quite a bit of time off then too, I eventually had to leave college because of my IBS and spent nearly a year housebound, during which time I lost most of my friends as their lives moved on and mine resolved around my IBS and anxietys. I have eventually got my IBS more under control and have made friends who I love to pieces who are understanding and take me as I am, who I think are the best kind!
I know it will be hard going to these meetings because after all the time at home you start to feel like a social leper, like nothing you have to say would be of any interest to anyone else, also you might feel that as your not working or socialising you might have nothing to talk about but let me tell you something I've come to realise. If it hadn't been because of my IBS and the related anxieties that go with it I wouldn't be the understanding, loyal, caring person I am now, I'm not being big headed or beefing myself up, but I've come to realise that everyone has issues, everyone has something that scares them, be it heights, spiders, commitment whatever, and they all have these secret avoidence tactics they use so that they appear normal to everyone else.
Although you might not realise this you are a stronger person than most, to have dealt with what you have to, you have far more empathy and understanding of others and this makes you an interesting person, so dont hold back, be proud of what you are.
My Dr put me on sertraline (Lustral) and thats helped quite a bit with my anxietys also I've been doing the hypno cd's and they've really helped with my attitude towards my IBS. Just try to keep your chin up honey, if you ever want a chat you can email me at susieannah@hotmail.com I'm from the UK too so we can always pass notes on things x
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Hi, I was reading your profile and you have wonderful opportunity in caretaking for your mom and younger siblings! What a giving person you are! You are also blessed to have an interest and creativity in art. It is such a good thing to release yourself into something. Take care, Debbie, Ontario, Canada
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