|
|
Maybe because of the fact I have other, life-threatening, diseases, the IBS isn't such a huge issue for me and I'm able to just go with the flow more(no pun intended!). Although my IBS can get severe at times, it just doesn't bother me like it does you and others I've read on these boards today (I'm a newbie).
I HAVE felt what you are feeling, the despair and loneliness, but not from IBS. I have felt with IBS that people just don't understand always. I still remember a trip I took with 2 women who were my best friends and I had an attack on the road, they stopped 3 or 4 times on a 2 hr trip and finally, about an hour away from home, my friend who was driving said "I am NOT stopping again, so this better be it!" When I was in the bathroom, I prayed God would keep it from happening until I got home and it worked...as soon as I walked in the door I broke off running and just made in the nick of time. My family is understanding about it. I also have an overactive bladder and they would always tease me about how often I used the bathroom when we went somewhere to eat (at least twice!) and it's extremely rare not to have to use the bathroom at LEAST once every 45 minutes or so. But even though they tease me, they don't cut me down for having the problems I do b/c there is nothing I can do about it. However, I have 1 major medical issue that, although it's not life threatening in the sense of cancer or heart disease, it's still life threatening and I've gotten so depressed over that that I contemplated suicide. Now I look back on it and even though I wish I didn't have it, I realized that I was stuck with it, for better or for worse, and needed to learn to accept it. I ended up turning to my writing talent and wrote a poem about it and now when I look back, I can see that it's really taught me things, shaped who I am, and if I could go back and make it so I didn't have it, I wouldn't change anything. If I didn't have all my medical problems, I wouldn't be who I am now and I know the person I am now would HATE who I would have been.
What I've learned with all my diseases and disorders is that even though I may be lonely, no boyfrined (too much medical baggage), I need to learn to depend on myself, but when I find those rare jewels of friends who are supportive, I keep them close and am a good friend to them in return. Maybe for now your support can come from these boards until you find a friend in person who is supportive. Believe me, they are out there, we just have to find them. Of course if someone told me that last year, I would have thought they were crazy! 
2 things to keep in mind: 1st, laughter really IS the best medicine, so surround your self with laughter and humorous situations and learn to laugh at yourself or make jokes about yourself without cutting yourself down. An example, not only do I have IBS, I also have GERD and regurgitate stomache acid...so I always got it coming out of 1 end or the other . 2nd, keep a postive attitude, don't think of yourself as being "afflicted" or some other negative word, think of yourself as a "survivor". I don't know if you are a Christian, but if so, a bit from the bible is that God does not give us more than we can bear. You are strong to deal with this. Think of all the people who don't have what you do, or even people who do have IBS, but not as severe as you may have it. Maybe God doesn't think they are strong enough to deal with it, but you are, otherwise God wouldn't allow it to happen to you. It's as simple as that.
Erin
--------------------
Erin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IBS-D, GERD...
I got it comin' outta 1 end or the other!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I must admit, you must be a stronger person that I. I've heard before..."God has chosen you to have this affliction so that you can serve as role model by honoring and worshipping, trusting God in spite of all this". But, to be honest, if that is the case, I would rather He had chosen someong else.  I know, that sounds bad....but if I have to be honest, that is how I feel today.
Quote:
if I could go back and make it so I didn't have it, I wouldn't change anything.
Seriously? I don't feel this way about either my years with an Eating Disorder, or now with all my medical problems, pain, lack of answers or relief. And as far as God not giving us more than we can handle...I can't believe that. I wish is were true...but if it were, people would't be committing suicide to escape the pain of living. Maybe I'm just not a good enough Christian today. I'm not feeling very grateful...except for the love and support of all the people on the boards...and of course for the fact that my God sent His Son to die for us, so that we have the opportunity of experiencing a painless life in Heaven. That is the greates gift!!!!
Tell me, how do you make and keep friends when you are so sick you can't even go out or leave the house? When you can't do the simplest of things? I have yet to find anyone who wnats to "put up" with this "high maintainance".
I will really pray about what you have shared. I know I must get outside of this pain...but at this time, I'm struggling with just how to do that.
I wish you well with your other diseases. May we all find peace and happiness and acceptance with what we have to endure each day.
--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I am currently seeing 4 doctors (GI, a new PCP because I didn't have one, so he doesn't really know me yet, just started with a Health Psychologist (2 visits) and I've been seeing a psychiatrist for some meds for about a year. Yep, believe it or not, I'm on an AD!
I do see the doctor Bob went to....Dr. Michael Jones. But he seems more interested in laughing and cracking jokes than taking this seriously and giving me answers/tests/relief.
Okay, going to take another risk by opening my mouth and saying something else that I may regret sharing later (I must be feeling really free and open this morning to let my guard down for all the people on the web to read my personal thoughts). I don't understand why people are so scared to hear people say they want God to let them go to Heaven now. Isn't it better than the pain? We put animals out of pain ....but for some reason humans must remain in pain?
Maybe I really don't want to die. Maybe I would be upset if I was taken from this world... who knows. And yes, it would greatly upset me to hear someone I cared about say this same thing. Not because I think death is so scary (we are all going to die one day), but because I wouldn't want them to be hurting so badly that they thought this was their only hope for relief.
I don't have any plans to kill myself! But I do sometimes pray for God to take me home if the pain continues. But, I also pray that God gives me the strength to make it through the day and to learn to live with this pain. Maybe I'm praying for two contradictory things....maybe that's why neither are happening...they are cancelling each other out. (guess I have some sense of humor left, huh).
The fact that God has brought some people into my life who are able to have faith and hope for me...people who have shared their beliefs, passages from the Bible, and have given me such encouraging words of comfort and continue to try and "coach" me through treatment has been a blessing. For that I am grateful...I guess God is giving me strength to go on through other people since I am not able to have it for myself.
Sorry so long and reflective.  I think a lot is going on in my mind...and I should probably start a diary instead of embarrassing myself on these boards!
These posts may be deleted when I "wake up" a little more this morning!
--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Beth
Please don't delete your posts. Whilst I am not religious in any way, I really appreciate reading your thoughts. Whilst I do NOT want to die, I also admit there have been times when I have had the thought that not being here might be a way out of all the pain. However, the thought of what that would do to all those that love me, family, partner and friends, means I never let the thought cross my mind for more than a few seconds. There is no shame whatsoever in saying how you sometimes feel - you feel it, therefore it is important.
Religious or not, we all have our darkest moments. Where you feel like you're screaming, but silently, and no-one can hear, God or man. The only thing we can truly know is that, at some point, sooner or later, you will feel better. Maybe only by a bit at first, but at some point you will feel like you beat this, or at least deal with it to a point where you don't feel like giving up.
Because I'm not religious, I don't read your words and go "Oh my gosh", etc, but me and everyone else on here hate the thought of his utterly rubbish illness getting the better or such a lovely person! Share away, we are all going through different versions and severities of the same thing, and can completely appreciate how you've felt.
I am the exact opposite of an expert, and I don't have any answers. All I can say is that we are all here for you, and I'm 99% sure others on here have had those 'darkest moments' where they've thought stuff they'd rather not. Keep fighting Beth, and one day it WILL get easier.
If you ever need to talk (sometimes easier to someone you don't really know all that well), you know where I am.
*MASSIVE hugs*
--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Just a thought, maybe the dr. who was cracking jokes was doing it for a reason. Laughter REALLY is the best medicine, and although dealing with what we have is serious, we can't be so serious all the time and take all the joy out of our life because of medical problems. We need to seek out those humorous people, watch funny movies and tv, surround ourselves with laughter b/c even though we have to deal with the IBS and a bunch of other junk, we can't let our lives come to a complete halt. I know, I know, easier said than done, but it IS doable. That's how I live now. I used to be like you and just so depressed about all the things going on medically. I was too chicken to kill myself, so I prayed to go every day for 3 months during radiation treatments to just take me up to heaven b/c I just didn't want to deal with it. By God NOT taking you up to heaven should show you that it's not your time to go. God put you here for a reason and it you may not know what that reason is, but take the time you are here to try and think about what you can contribute. Are you funny? Maybe you can help someone by giving them laughter. Are you philosophical (like me!)? Maybe you can help someone solve a problem. Think about your strengths and how you can use those and help other people. You may not believe that God does not give us more than we can bear, but I will tell you something I've learned in my life: Everything happens for a reason. We don't know what that reason is, but something it really helps to 1. look at your strengths and figure out how to use them to help others and/or yourself 2. look at your weaknesses and think about what you can do to turn them into strengths. It could be as changing your mindset, which is something I did, and changing my mindset/outlook has made it that everything I've persevered through has really served as an inspiration for almost all the people I know in real life. I'll give you more later.
Erin
--------------------
Erin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IBS-D, GERD...
I got it comin' outta 1 end or the other!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Quote:
The only thing we can truly know is that, at some point, sooner or later, you will feel better.
Unfortunately, this isn't necessarily true. If it were, I'd sure feel a lot better!
Keep me udated on your progress with your diet. I hope you do great with it!
massive hugs backatcha!
--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
...and postitive? I really admire your courage and acceptance.
Thanks for sharing. And please, keep posting!
--------------------
~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
You might not believe it's true right now, but look at it one way - how many people on here were once in the depths of depression, unstable with their IBS and hating every minute of it, and who are now stable, happy, and trying to help others.
It absolutely can not carry on being exactly as bad as it now. I think we'd struggle to find people who have felt like this for ever because of their IBS - we all have ups and downs, but from the hundreds of people I've spoke to everyone pulls through in the end.
Don't worry, I don't expect you to believe it now! As you know I'm in the middle of feeling the worst I've ever felt with it at the minute, and have rarely left the house in months - so I struggle to believe it to! But, even though I'm not religious, I think we'll both get there in the end xx
--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I will! and I'm at work, so I'll answer more after work when I get home
Erin
--------------------
Erin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IBS-D, GERD...
I got it comin' outta 1 end or the other!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I think we all feel the same things, just depends on the day! I wish everyone here a good day at least every other day! I struggle too - a high stress / attention to detail job - with little sympathy from the 5 male owners, but a little from my new assistant. My one boss made a comment that was unforgiveable one day when I had an attack at work - my assistant almost died of embarrassment for me!
I am lucky though in that I have the most wonderful fiance who worries about me and understands that IBS isn't my fault and even through all of my trying I can't eat or keep anything with me. He often calls from the computer room to me in the bathroom "you still alive in there" and it is endearing, not mean. I end up crying b/c I'm so frustrated with my IBS lately, but he always tells me he loves me, no matter what. IBS just doesn't affect me, but us, in so many ways. I miss having dinner out - we never bother, I can't eat at most restaurants here. I miss ice cream!! (not soy or rice stuff) I miss having enough energy to love my future husband like I should be able to!!! We're getting married and my biggest worry is about having an attack at the reception, not that I'm actually getting married after 8 years.
--------------------
Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Posts
