Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Beth is right ... if you have IBS, you NEED to work. Whether your work is an 8-5 job or being a full-time mom. You need to live your life. Also, for most people, you also need money to pay your bills and avoid being evicted in a heartless-Dickensian-landlord manner.

Admittedly at this point my problems are almost certainly not 100% IBS, but, over the last 3-4 months, my health problems have gotten really severe. My husband and I even discussed my quitting my job. (It took a LONG time for him to even consider my doing this -- I bring in 55% of our household income.) I ultimately have decided to stick it out at all possible -- because I can't let this thing win. If I quit my job, I'll sit at home with my heating pad and become even more afraid to leave the house.

I've had to shift my attitude, too. It used to be if I had a bad attack that I would stay home all day, feeling weak and drained while I rested. Now, if I have a bad attack, I ride it out and go to work afterwards.

Yeah, my life has suffered because of this. I never see anyone except my husband. My house is a wreck -- when I AM home, I'm so wiped out that I'm lucky if I can get the laundry done. I used to be the kind of person who did a super-thorough house cleaning once a week, and now it takes me weeks to scrub out the shower. (OK, that is gross, and I am kind of sorry now I admitted it.) I should ask my husband to do more around the house, but I hate doing so because I feel so guilty about him being burdened with this stupid bundle of health problems instead of a real wife. So, yeah, it's Saturday, and the dishes have been sitting in the sink since Tuesday. UGH. I so hate myself sometimes.

Um, actually, I guess I am not exactly generating a ringing endorsement for working. Honestly, though, it's getting out of the house, not working in itself. I think staying at home will, at first, be an enormous psychological relief, but will ultimately work against you because you'll just grow more and more anxious at the prospect of leaving the house.

Like everyone else, I have the whole attack paranoia thing going on, but it's really more of just the kind of BLEARGH! this sucks! lurking at the back of my mind more than anything else. I guess you have to remember that no one ever dies from humiliation, and people are typically a lot nicer than you'd think.

I really recommend talking to your boss and getting a note from your doctor. I finally did both and feel a lot better for it. You don't have to go into details. In fact, most people won't want you to go into details. (Although, pre-IBS, I once had a boss who asked for details every time I called in sick. "What kind of sick?" he'd always ask. "Are you throwing or are you having diarrhea?" After that I always make sure I call in sick like two hours before the workday begins so I am sure to get voicemail.) You can get a note from your doctor that's sort of vague and have them add to call with any questions. When I asked for a note, I said PLEASE, make it non-embarrassing (our HR chick is, um, sort of a gossip), and they were OK with that. I'm not sure legally what you are required to tell vs. what they are allowed to ask. My doctor just added at the end that they could call with any questions, but my workplace was OK with it.

So this is sort of a novel, but, the long and short of it is, you are really probably better off working. It is also an incredible motivator to make yourself get aggressive with getting ahold of your IBS. Hang in there!!! Stay on the diet and pursue any options you think you have of feeling better. If you have non-IBS issues nag your doctor about getting them resolved.

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jen

"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC

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