Feeling depressed about IBS
#21367 - 09/21/03 05:30 PM
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Browneyes
Reged: 07/09/03
Posts: 5
Loc: NY School MA Home
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Hi all, It's me again... the newbie.
I've been adhearing as close as possible these last few days to the doctor's orders (Librax and acidophilis and fiber) and actually I stuck more to what Heather says than what Doc said because he was trying to tell me to be eating huge bowls of salad. I think I got a cramp just THINKING about that, so I had turkey on a roll. My question is this... is it normal to be a little depressed after being diagnosed? I thought I'd be relieved to know what it was and to start getting treated, but it's really hitting me pretty hard that this is never going to go away. I have an illness for life, and it's really bringing me down. My friends here at school (God bless them) are super supportive. They want me to give them something they can do to help me, and they've only known me 3 weeks. I love them! But they've definately noticed since my diagnosis on thursday that instead of seeming sick, I seem really really sad. And to be honest, I feel really sad. Is this normal? Will it go away? My school has a counseling center, and health services recommended I check it out if I'm really depressed, but I was hoping maybe everyone went through this after their diagnosis
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"I'd rather a half hour of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special"
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I went through the same thing when I finally figured out this is what I had. I thought my life would never be "normal." This is terrible but I actually hoped that the doctors would finally something on the tests that I had done, so that I wouldn't be stuck with the diagnosis of IBS. I figured if I had IBS that I had no hope of every getting better and if I had something else, the doctors might could take care of it. I can't promise that this journey will be rosy, but I can say that in my case it has gotten better. You learn what you can and can't eat, and how to manage it. You will get better with time! Hang in there! What you're going through is a mourning stage. It will get better!
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Yep, been there, done that, got the T-shirt!
The Doctors say it's IBS, nothing to worry about, nothing we can do, go away and chill out, learn to live with it.
So the patient is left with a life-long condition, over which they seem to have no control and often little support from the medical profession. Who wouldn't feel depressed.
IBS, usually in combination with other problems in life, has left me seriously depressed on many occasions. Sometimes the downer would last for a few days, sometimes weeks or months.
Then I bought Heather's book and realised that it is possible to control the IBS rather than having it control me.
You've found this forum, so you're in the right place and heading in the right direction. Just hang in there. It can get better; it will get better!
Best Wishes.
Ian
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hi, i am new as well, i was diganosed 5 years ago( the night before my wedding, i wound up in the er) and have been living with ibs since. the prob was that the doc never told me what to do, just eat fiber he said, or how serious it could be. for 5 yrs i have not had a single morining that i wasn't sick or in pain. finally i had enough- went to a new doc and they said that i was definatley sick, again they didn't help me though, so i found my way here! been doing the diet for 2 weeks now and have seen a BIG differnce! i can relate to being depressed, i have had anixety attacks due to this and could not take care of my children at times. it is very reasuring to know there is help here! thankyou for that
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At the beginning, it seemed like there wasn't a minute of the day when I wasn't sick, which got really old, really fast. I, too, felt depressed, thinking feeling better again was hopeless. I felt deprived and embarrassed and left out, thinking that I'd never be able to enjoy the companionship of friends in restaurants, have a relaxing vacation, or even be able to feel "normal." All of that can really take it's toll on you.
But....things do get better. Being on the diet has settled my stomach and has helped me slim down. I actually feel better now than I've felt in a long, long time. I've gotten used to the diet so much that it doesn't seem like work anymore. I don't feel left out or deprived anymore because I've seen the positive effects on my health and my sanity (and my waistline!).
Things are rough now, I know, but they do get better. ((Trust Me))
Best wishes. 
Kristine
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I have been there too, you're not alone. At my lowest point I was canceling all my plans with friends and family and missing work too. I finally went in for a colonosopy. My Dr. said everything was fine but saw my colon spasming and noted I had irregular gas patterns (bloating). He diagnosed me with IBS and told me I had to "relax" and "not get stressed out". I got Heather's book just after that and tried changing my eating habits. It helped but did not cure me all the way. I began thinking about what the doctor said. I realized that I am a big-time worrier who often bites off more than he can chew. For example, at my lowest I was working full time with overtime, going to college, selling a condo, building house, getting married and dealing with all of life's little things. I feel the combination of changing my eating habits and realizing I am human, I make mistakes and can only do so much AND worrying about what others MIGHT be feeling about me is pointless and wasted energy, has helped me an incredible amount! I have IBS-D and have gone months without an attack. I also found if my mind is not occupied with something else (hobby, book, etc.) I will start thinking about what I ate, when was my last BM, etc. Then I start feeling cruddy. I used to always think, things HAVE to get better...how can they get worse! I hope you feel better soon!
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Hi Browneyes,
It's normal to be depressed about IBS. I still am having a hard time accepting it, and I've had it for years before I knew what IBS was.
I've found Heather's books and this website to be very helpful and supportive. I'm fortunate that when I take Bentyl I can handle a good share of my trigger foods.
Have you talked to your Doc about any medicine you can try?
Hang in there and good luck.
Cloudygirl 
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Yes, I felt pretty bad, too. But there's lots of upsides. I know it's hard to think of right now, but trust me. I've lived with this for 7? years now, and it does get better.
If you have to live with something, IBS does have advantages. One - it's a healthy low fat diet that will serve you well all your life. Two - there are more and more substitutions available on the market so you don't feel so deprived. Three - once you get a handle on the diet and your triggers and what you can tolerate, you will be much more in control and feeling more positive about things. It's a slow process, but stick with Heather's dietary advice, try some new recipes from the recipe board and keep posting. We're all in this together. We're here for you.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Adding on to HanSolo's list of positives:
4) Think of all the money you are saving not wasting it on Fast Food and restaurants all the time.
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- Jennifer
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I think we all hit walls at certain times during this transition into an identified IBS life. It was hard eating in the beginning, but when you re-learn how to eat, it will become second hand. Instead of getting depressed over what you can't eat, you'll be focusing on what you can eat. Honest, it does get better. It becomes a challenge to figure out what your specific triggers are (we're all different).
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Thank you all for your support and helpful hints. It means a lot to me to have support to get me through this "mourning period" and also the rest of my life with IBS. My meds seem to be working pretty well (still a little gassy at times, and i'm ALWAYS ready to fall asleep..not good in college) so I'm becoming more optimistic
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"I'd rather a half hour of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special"
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I felt the same way when diagnosed, and then when nothing ever worked and my life was controlled by diarrhea (and all those embarrassing and trying ramifications) my depression got worse. My doctor put me on an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant (Effexor-XR), which also helped to lesson IBS symptoms for me. That worked great for a while, but most of those haven't been tested for long-term use and can only be used for about 6 months safely. After two and a half years on it the medication started to effect me badly (loss of short-term memory, hyper energy, wild laughter--signs of manic depression) and I had to get off the drug and my body had to return to "normal". Things were really bad when I got off, not only dealing with stabilizing emotions, but also returning diarrhea. Panic attacks were back, despair and hopelessness filled my heart.
Then two great things happened. 1) I found Heather's book and this website, which has been a tremendous help in managing my IBS so that diarrhea doesn't control my life anymore, and this forum has given me friends and co-survivors who understand the worries, fears, problems, and questions that come with dealing with IBS. The moral support of this forum has been fantastic, and 2) I discovered that I needed to go deeper with my Christian faith. I had to learn to trust Christ in ways that I hadn't considered before. It ended up being a blessing in my life spiritually.
Most of us on here have felt just like you feel right now. An IBS diagnoses means a lifetime of having to eat carefully and be constantly aware of your emotions and how you're dealing with stress. However, as have been mentioned already, this ends up being a good thing for us health-wise, we end up feeling better, losing weight, etc. The initial mourning over the loss of the care-free lifestyle we had hoped would return some day is tough, though. We're all rooting for you since we've all been there and know just how you feel. This has the potential to make you a much stronger person than you ever dreamed possible. Hang in tere!
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I know how you feel-I've probably had IBS all my life-but was just diagnosed 4 weeks ago. Of course I have to have a colonscopy before it is "official" I was upset also today thinkng about giving up coffee, chocolate, pop and most meats. I am working out what I can eat-i'm trying soy milk because I love dairy (was raised in WI!!!) But I had rice and shrimp for dinner and feel better-i can hardly wait until I can buy Heather's books 
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Welcome Browneyes,
I also am a newbie as of about three weeks. I had a severe attack on sept. 4 that earned me a trip to the ER. All this while on the other side of the country.
I can't speak for all but yes this can be quite depressing. It is uncurable but apparently managable. Heather's books and advice seem to be helping for me.
I too was extremely depressed when I realized that I couldn't eat the way I usually do. This is extremely difficult for me. I had to laugh when I got to the chapter in "IBS the first year" when Heather talked about slowly getting out again, traveling, eating out, and how these are the most difficult things for ibsers to get through. You see, I am an airline pilot. I work 7 on 7 off, the 7 on I am away from home, all over the country, flying a small jet the size of a ford 15 passenger van with an emergency toilet. All i do is travel, eat at restaurants, and spend hours at a time away from a bathroom, not good when you're IBS D.
I say all of this not to make my situation look worse(we all have it bad) but to encourage you to know that we are all facing difficult circumstances and to hopefully encourage you in the struggles you are facing.
How depressed can you get? Only you can determine that. I am not a licensed counselor yet but have several courses completed toward a master's in counseling.
I think without a doubt that an IBS diagnosis can be depressing but if you are consumed by depression all of the time and it begins to control your life please seek professional help. IBS definitely changes your life but depression can destroy it. I have to admit that when I'm home I rarely think about it. When I am on the road however I think about it all the time, especially when i am in a cab for an hour, on the hotel van to the airport or when i crawl into that tiny cockpit knowing a bathroom will be sometimes as long as 3 hours away. I think these things are natural. If you have IBS D especially (somtimes for me I only have 10-20 minutes that i can hold it at best) it's almost impossible to not think about the whatifs. When you start to retreat from life that's when it begins to consume you. Don't forget that according to Heather it can be manageable. I just got home from a week of traveling without a problem. I have found some of my triggers already like eating lettuce on an empty stomach, going long periods without eating then eating a huge meal at the end of the day, getting proper rest. These are just some and only found in the first couple of weeks.
Hope my novel has been an encouragement to you. The folks on this site can probably give you better advice than I can as many are veterans and I am just a newbie. It is a great site for getting info and just encouragment knowing you're not alone.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Luke
<><
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And I got to try soymilk. I never would have done that if not for ibs. i love it!! better than milk although a bit more expensive. i tried heather's pick, vitasoy vanilla. it's great with cereal. a bit too sweet and strong on the vanilla for me so i just add a bit of water. it's heavenly in fact i'm heading for the honeycombs right now.
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Luke
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Hi,
I completely agree with how you feel, when I was first diagnosed I was ok for about the first few weeks, but then I got bored of the few dishes I knew how to prepare and didn't know how to make anything else.
It's almost as thought I went through a mourning for my foods that I missed so badly.
It will get easier and you will become brave enough to prepare the new foods and learn to restock your cupboards and it will become just a way of life.
Good luck and keep your chin up - it will get better.
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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I definitely know how you feel. I hate some of the foods I have to eat some times like all the breads. I go back and forth with what I should eat. Mine started in college and it just got worse through grad school. So I can relate. I can remember sitting through 4 hour classes so uncomfortable. I couldn't do it again. That's great that your meds are working. Be happy if something works, that's my advice. I know easier said than done because like I said I still get frusturated with the breads. Good Luck.
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Hey there,
I know exactly what you are going through! I was diagnosed my sophomore year of college (now I'm a senior..yay)but it changed things dramatically! I actually was going through a depression when I was diagnosed. I am still unclear as to whether the depression started first or if my IBS flarred so badly that it caused a depression (cuz I was hardly eating anything and your mind needs food to function properly). Anyway, I lost a ton of weight, looked immaciated, and I was just so unhappy. Then to be told that I could never have ice cream, store-bought cookies and cakes, etc. just pushed me over the edge!
I have such a sweet tooth and I was so sad that I could never eat my favorite foods again. Then, thank GOD, I found Heather's books and then later this message board! Seriously, you are heading down a much happier road since you found this board! Everyone is going through similar experiences and we all understand your depression over the new food barriers.
Luckily, there are so many recipies on this board and in Heather's books, that you can pretty much make any alternative to your favorite trigger foods. For instance, I was SOOO excited the other night when I made the fat free hot fudge brownies...yes I said BOWNIES!!! I thought I could never have them again  But these where soooo good and even my 7 other roommates were raving about them.
So you see, it is just taking it in strides. At first it seems like you can not eat a thing in the world, but as time goes on, you'll find foods that you can eat or alterations to foods.
The best thing to do is to fight off depression, honestly! It is such a horrible disease and you do not need it on top of your IBS, trust me, I know from experience. Seek help EARLY and don't let it get control of you. That is my best advice. And experiment with foods, you may be surprised!
I hope everything gets better for you! 
Kristen
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I'm glad to hear you are doing better. The Honeycombs and soy milk should help your tummy better than the M & M's you were eating!
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skywalker,
i'm not trying to be mean but, i had to chuckle when i got the mental image of you flying a passenger van with a porta-potty in it...(if you could only see what my warped brain came up with)
i feel for you...and all of us.
for me laughter is what keeps me from going crazy or drowning in the depths of despair. that and a few bites of sushi...
take care and happy travels.
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lyrae31,
No offense taken. Besides beaglelover has laughed alot more at my trials. No offense "b". yes i cna only imagine what image you came up with. " the porta pottie only has a curtain as well" that should give you some more to chuckle about. You should really read the Hefty bag story i wrote to beaglelover around page 20.
have a good one.
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Luke
<><
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I am a new member & I'm not sure if I have IBS. Before I go to a doctor I would like some information. The problem that I seem to be having is that I move my bowels 3-4 times before noon (all leaving me releived) & once a night. My morning routine is a cup of decaf coffee with non-dairy creamer & a bowel of cereal (Too much fiber in cereal makes it worse). I have been going to the bathroom like this for years. It's dibilitating because I can't go out far in the morning because I know I'll have to goto the bathroom. My diet consist of no dairy, alot of vegetarian food, fish, & rice. I know your not a doctor but what do you think. Thanks
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My advice is to stop drinking coffee ASAP. It is the worst trigger for most IBSers, it's not the caffeine, it's an enzyme in coffee. Try a roasted soy coffee like Rocamojo or an herb tea.
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Aargh! Coffee! NOOOOO! That stuff makes me sooo much worse, which is a pain as I used to love it! Don't drink it!
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Hi Brown Eyes
I'm a newbie too, although I was diagnosed a year ago. Like so many of us, my diagnosis made me depressed. A chronic illness that few people understand and that you tend not to get a lot of synmpathy and understanding for - why wouldn't that depress anyone!
Btw, you sound so lucky with your friends. I've found that its important to let the people around you - friends, parents, partners, etc. - know about what IBS actually is as it can get hard for them when you're ill all the time. You don't want people telling you to snap out of it (quite impossible) when you're mid-attack!
My IBS has actually meant that I needed to change my life plans (it's hard to be an offshore sailor with IBS!) and I got really depressed for a while. But now, with meds and the help of a loving family and fiance, as well as a great doc (and now this wonderful site!), I'm feeling so much better.
IBS is a right pain (excuse the pun!), but Heather is proof that is doesn't need to wreck your life. Finding this wonderful, supportive site has helped me a lot, as has the discovery that I can still eat yummy foods as long as I'm careful.
My top tip atm if you're feeling down is to make Tess Louise's Antidepressant Brownies - recipe on the recipe index. I made these yesterday and they were fantastic! So fantastic in fact, that my fussy housemates finished off the lot and I've made more for the weekend!
Happy eating!
Linz
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