I'm Mad as Hell
#14796 - 07/24/03 11:18 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Sorry, but I need to vent. I have followed Heather's advice to a T. Always having soluble fiber with my meal, drinking the hot teas, taking the fiber supplements until I think I will gag if I drink another glass of it, and I'm still having terrible stomach pains and C. So I told my husband last night, "What's the point in being GOOD if I'm still miserable?" So last night I decided to be BAD---I ate a little Debbie snack cake, some Fritos, Pringles, and today I went to Taco Bell and ate nachoes and a Diet Pepsi for lunch. I figure if I'm going to have C whether I follow the guidelines or not, I might as well enjoy life a little.
I know what set me off. A group of friends took me out for my birthday the other night at a nice restaurant and I watched them enjoy wine, martinis, prime rib, salad piled high with blue cheese dressing (my favorite), and rich desserts. I had Citrucel and saltines as my appetizer, then ordered grilled trout, and after the waitress gave my hell about asking how things were prepared, I gave up and told her to bring me the ***** mashed potatoes and green beans to go with it. Well, of course, the mashed potatoes came with cheese and I'm sure milk and butter, if not heavy cream. The green beans were cooked in bacon. Here my friends were buying me a nice meal and what was I supposed to do? Not eat it?
Now you probably understand why I have C so bad. Ha! There was no baked potato on the menu (I asked for one and was told no) and the only other choices of sides were fried. The waitress offered to bring me the blue cheese salad and when I told her I couldn't have that, she rolled her eyes like I was being a big tiddy-baby by being picky and stormed into the kitchen. Normally, with a few friends, I would have complained to the manager, but I was with a table of 10 in a nice restaurant and didn't want to ruin everyone's evening by making a big scene.
I HATE MY LIFE LIKE THIS! My mother, who had IBS-D for years and now eats whatever she wants without a problem, keeps telling me, "I'm sure now that you've watched what you've eaten for several weeks, that you should be able to eat whatever you want!"
I'm sorry to be so angry about this. Does anyone else go through periods like this? It almost makes me madder that everyone seems so complacent about their IBS symptoms. Doesn't anyone else ever get mad about this too?
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I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I go through those stages too. I just went throught it this weekend and finally everything broke loose on Tuesday but the bloating feeling is just now going away today. I don't why it is so much harder for those of us with IBS-C. There are period where I have to go the extreme and do something and I eat very healthy,drink all my water, take my fiber work out 2 hours a day 5-6 days a week (am into fitness) and still feel like crap and have to go through this it is not fair at all when all my friends are overweight cheat when they want and are fine. Makes me very angry but I keep researching and trying different things and pray. I don't know what else to tell you except I'm sorry and I know you feel LITERALLY!!!
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Screen Name: Nan275
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I feel super duper bad for you! I totally understand what you are going through. When I first started on the diet I would still get sick no matter what I tried.
It was so frustrating that I would literally start crying. I think I expected to feel better rather quickly because I was eating better. But it takes time for the old, bad food to get out of your system.
Ways to save you from this problem in the future:
Explain to your friends that you can't just eat whatever when you get to a restuarant. That you need to get a menu or something ahead of time so you know there will be something you can eat.
You can also call the chef the night before and see how they cook things and if they can accomodate you. Unfortunately some places will not be interested in being accomodating. But don't be discouraged because there are restuarants out there who will be so gracious it will make you feel so special.
I think that's what I hate about restuarants the most though, is that you can't just stop at one and chose off the menu because you don't know how accomodating they will be with you.
Best of luck in the future.
And it will get better - don't be discouraged. At the start it's always tough.
Just stick with it and vent away! That's what we are here for. We all understand what you are going through.
((((Big Hugs)))
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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I understand what you are saying and how you feel. Unfortunately, sometimes it's hard getting the people you care about to understand what IBS really is. My husband still thinks sometimes that as long as I'm eating what I'm supposed to that I shouldn't have any problems ordering at a restaurant. Most of the time that is a correct assessment, but there have been times when something I've eaten, albeit what I'm supposed to, it still triggers an attack. That's the most difficult part of IBS for me. I agree with Lana Marie - calling ahead or getting ahold the menu ahead of time is a good idea. Even if you could honestly speak with one of your friends so that she could watch out "food-wise" for you could be helpful. Don't feel bad about ordering things your way. I know it is frustrating when you are treated with lack of respect for your choices when eating and personally, I would've probably excused myself to the restroom and asked the host for the manager and given a brief explanation about food allergies/medical condition and explained the disrespect and total lack of courtesy of the server. I would also have asked that the manager please make sure the food was being prepared as I requested. It would've been easy for the server to totally disregard your request when passing the info onto the cooks.
I don't know how long you've been Eating for IBS, but as you've heard and know, it takes a while to feel a complete difference and even then you may have a setback. Hang in there and know that you and your health are the most important thing. The hell with the server and possibly the restaurant, but there are places out there that will accommodate you and if they choose not to, the hell with them. They obviously have enough business that they don't need that of yours and your friends/family. That's how I view those things. I used to be a server and it was the hardest job ever, but I loved it. If you are good to the partrons and listen and accommodate them, it is a wonderful experience for everybody. Good luck and hang in there. And hey, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Now you can go out for a fabulous Unbirthday Party!! 
Also, I can't do the liquid fiber supplements, but Citrucel makes caplets that go down extremely easy. That's what works for me. Didn't know if you'd tried them before.
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Oh it is so frustrating! I totally understand having IBS C as well. I started Heathers diet a couple months ago and have found that I need much more insoluable fiber then what she recommends. Since I have added more insoluable fiber to my diet I am starting to feel better. I still stay away from dairy and redmeat, greasy and fried foods. At least most of the time anyway, I did have a big bar cheeseburger this past weekend (and boy was it good!) and my tummy wasn't any worse! Don't get me wrong, I still have pain and bloating, I don't think I will ever be "normal"! I think for some people with C, you need the insoluable stuff to move things through!
Have you tried the pill fiber supplements instead of the powders? If your still having problems getting things to move, there has been a lot of talk about Aloe. I've never tried it but it seemds to be working for some people. I know you probably don't want to take a prescription drug but I take MiraLax and it really does help.
Happy belated b-day! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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THAT IS SO UPSETTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
First of all happy belated belated birthday!
Second, the customer is always right! What ever happened to that motto?
Third...I eat at friend's houses with my husband almost every week! The worst is when they don't THINK the dish they made has eggs...and then they check...and I get to watch them eat! (Or when it doesn't occur to me that the item might have somehting I can't eat in it--like sugar substitutes--and I get a tummy ache!)
I hear ya! It's maddening!
YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! That's the most important thing! It doesn't matter what the waitress thinks of you (I gotta tell ya, I don't think too much of HER for being so inconsiderate)...you have to live with yourself and your body. You treat it right--and you do what you have to to get what you need! (You know the idea that we often say things to other people that we really need to say to ourselves? This is me saying to you what I should really be saying to myself!) 
I know how you feel about eating right and not getting better. I went through the same thing. You may want to try a journal of what you eat, when, how much, which brand, and how it makes you feel. I discovered I can't eat corn this way! I'm also finding I may not be able to eat gluten. This was VERY helpful for me!
I hope you feel better in every way soon! And I hope we will all just be good to ourselves and our bodies--no matter what anyone else thinks! We'll thank ourselves for it later! 
*big hugs*
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Happy birthday!
I think we've all had those days and attacks. I used this board to rant a little not too long ago myself. I started Heather's diet about four months ago and had a nasty attack just today. I'm D so it can be quite embarrasing. After my last attack over a month ago I haven't really been too far from home. I don't walk with my kids or anything for the fear. I have been feeling better but still get attacks from time to time.
I agree with the others that a food diary might help you. I am just discovered that I probably can't have chocolate, even cocoa powder. It took quite a while to find that out and wouldn't have without a diary. 
I have found that a few of the restaurants are very helpful. When my son was in the hospital we found out that Boston Pizza is amazing. My husband would go there and order me pizza without cheese and even got me some shrimp. They told him they use butter so he asked that they prepare it differently so they did! On the other side, we went out for subs and the guy there wouldn't go into the back to check to see if their mayo had milk in it. You get good ones and bad ones. I commend the good ones to their manager and mention the not so good ones to their manager as well.
Yes, some people think you are being picky but that's because they have no compassion and probably have never had any trouble eating what they want. They are not worth your time to worry over. I don't like to announce to all my friends that I have IBS but at a restaurant I can't just sit there and eat anything. Friends will understand.
I'm very sorry to hear your birthday didn't go well. Take time and treat yourself to a special unbirthday dinner. Maybe somewhere nice with just your husband and yourself. Or make some of your favorite foods at home. There are some really nice non-alcholic wines out there.
I get so upset when I have an attack that I often start to cry. I get so frustrated and angry. Sometimes I want to chuck it all in and take Imodium every day and never leave the house. Most days I am quite complacent about my IBS but never to the point where I don't feel compassion for people who are suffering.
Keep on the diet but keep a diary of what you eat, any exercise, amount of sleep and how you are feeling. I'm betting in a short time you will discover what is triggering it.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Corinne
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If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
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I'm so sorry you're having a tough time of it.
I have gone through a tantrum or two (or three or four...) because of IBS. I've cried, I've screamed, I've felt like I was going to explode!! There're nothing pretty about IBS that's for sure.
Here's my advice:
Try switching to a caplet fiber supplement if drinking makes you gag.
Keep a food diary. Maybe you can find a pattern of what's setting you off.
Maybe try getting some more insoluble in your diet to help move things along. I say maybe, because I'm not sure how much you do get. Try Heather's strawberry banana smoothie...SO GOOD!! Plus, you can mix the fruit up. This is a great way to up your insoluble.
And next time I wouldn't put up with an attitude from a server. Who the hell does that bitch think she is anyway? That's what she's getting paid for. I hope you didn't leave her a good tip.  And if you don't want to make a scene, definetly sneak off to tell the manager. Or write or call and tell them now. Maybe it will make you feel better to vent on them.
And I wouldn't feel bad about upsetting your friends if you can't eat somewhere. I'm sure you wouldn't feel bad if they were the ones that couldn't eat and you had to make the adjustments for them. I mean, isn't that what friends are for? And they obviously care about you to want to take you out for nice birthday.
Happy Belated Birthday too! Hope you're feeling better soon. BTW: How did you feel after being BAD, or haven't you found out yet? Did it affect you at all? Just curious....
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