Telling People
#126775 - 12/01/04 04:40 PM
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I haven't told my friends about my IBS because I'm worried that they might not be too mature about it. Even if I did tell them, I'd only feel comfortable telling the two that I hang out with the most (for now). Is this something I can/should keep from my friends? I feel like I should tell them, but I don't want them to make jokes. (Not to underestimate the maturity levels of some young people) These friends are 20 years old, so they're pretty young (older than me, but I find that people who don't have IBS or aren't living with someone with IBS don't seem to be as understanding about the condition) and I don't want them to joke about it because I'm really embarrassed about it.
Another thing I've been wondering is if I should tell my teachers (all or just a few) about my problem. They have a vague note that explains that all the times I'm late are excused and they shouldn't hassle me about being late. They haven't given me any trouble about being late so far, and I don't want to tell them unless I think it would help. I'm afraid that if I tell a teacher about this, they'll mention it to their classes (either on purpose or unintentionally).
Maybe I'm not giving my friends and teachers enough credit. If any high school or college students are reading this, did you tell your teachers that you have IBS and did that help at all? Also, how mature have your friends reacted to you telling them about your IBS?
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I made a post about this here
Actually, I just sent my boyfriend the link to this site, over messenger.
His response thus far:
Andrew says:
Ah.
Andrew says:
That's....
I feel better though...minus the fact that I'm cramping. *goes to get water bottle*
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I am not too young anymore (26 actually), but when i tell people I describe it as food senstivities and allergies, and I tell them I have to be careful about what I eat. I don't use the words "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" because most people don't understand it.
Only my family ever hears me say Irritable Bowel.....otherwise I just say stomach sensitivities. I even have a best friend of 3 1/2 years, who has no idea, she just knows I won't eat out at restaurants with her becaue I have food allergies and can't trust the restaurants. I just don't think everyone needs to know my personal business.
On the other hand, many people on this site, say they have felt relieved after telling people. I wish I was as brave as some of them.
Your really close friends should understand.
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keep us updated.. I don't know that I would have done that.. but who knows.. I have tummy issues and have always said that.. as well as explained to some people I eat with regularly (at work and part of groups) that I have food sensititivities and certain things I can't have... one jokes with me that instead of asking if I want X (a mint, or anything else she might be offering) she asks if I can eat it... because half the times she's offered me thigns I've turned her down because I can't.. on the other hand she knows I'll bring her yummy treats if she asks! and we did thanksgiving together and she made all the dairy based things DH loves and I can't have for him!
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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I am not embarrassed at all about telling people. I think of it like this, what we have a good deal of the time is something EVERYONE has once in awhile- after a bad burger or just whenever. If people make jokes then join in with them if you want; there are a lot of jokes that can be made about IBS and I usually have a few of my own. Also remember that supermodels take laxatives all the time to lose weight and so even sexy gorgeous people spend a lot of time in the bathroom! 
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IBS-A for 20 years with terrible bloating and gas. On the diet since April 2004. Remember this from Heather's information pages:
"You absolutely must eat insoluble fiber foods, and as much as safely possible, but within the IBS dietary guidelines. Treat insoluble fiber foods with suitable caution, and you'll be able to enjoy a wide variety of them, in very healthy quantities, without problem." Please eat IF foods!
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All my friends know about my "crazy diet" and they are very understanding. At first I was also nervous about telling other people about IBS, but I found that talking to my close friends about it helped me emotionaly and as a side benefit a few of htme said "oh wow.. I think that might be my problem too" at least two of my friends have started to consider Heather's diet.
Just tell your firends that you have IBS. If they ask what that is tell them. If they want to know more you can add details or just explain to them about how it effects your life and diet. Once you start to open up it gets easier to continue.
As far as your teachers are concerned you don't have to tel them if you have that Dr. note. If you decide to tell them just ask them to keep it confidential and they will.
Good luck. 
Chany
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Hi there,
I have found telling the people close to me very helpful. I am a bit like the others and people who I Im not that close to I tend to just tell them I have a sensitive stomach or something along them lines, just makes things a little easier than having to explain the ins and outs!!
My family, BF and flatmate I have explained all about it too and they seem to understand but the BF still gets a little confused now and again(doesnt take much,  !) We even have a joke or two about it and have even given my episodes the name of 'bumisms'!
It certainly helps to me able to laugh about it sometimes otherwise I think I would lose the plot!!
Good luck.
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Once we started to tell people that my husband had IBS it was astounding how many people said "me too" or yeah my sisters all have that etc.
I know your younger so it is a little different. Just go slow kids sometimes don't know what to do with that information. They don't know what is the right way to respond. So en essence, your right, they might not be mature enough.
Good Luck and I am sorry you even have to deal with this.
Lefty
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I would just tell them something vagues to the effect that you have a very sensitive stomach, can't you eat a lot of "normal" foods and that sometimes your stomach gets upset and you need to use the washroom a bit more than most.
If they're your friends, they should be supportive and concerned with your well being. I've told all my friends and they've all been super great!
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I am 30yrs old. When I was your age I really didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't tell my professers in college. I really didn't need to if I needed to leave that was ok in College. Now a days I don't care who knows. We joke all the time at work and at home about it. I get my kids dressed in the morning while I am on the big T. My kids call me the pooper. It doesn't bother me one bit if people know. Yes alot of people don't understand IBS. I feel like it could be good to get the word out so more people will understand this horrible syndrome we suffer from. Well Good luck. I hope you become more comfortable with IBS. Unfortunatley it is not like a bad haircut that will grow back.
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But first, here's what not to say:
"You guys know what Spastic Colon is...?"
"I poo alllll the time...!"
"Blah bla bla bla... Explosive Diarrhea... bla bla bla..."
OK, now that that's all out of the way, here's what I came up with:
"I have a digestive disorder that I'm on medication for. Sometimes I get really sick after I eat, and sometimes the medication I have to take makes me really tired. It's interfering with my [work schedule, schoolwork, ability to get to class] so I wanted to bring it up with you so you were on the same page. I'm sorry I haven't mentioned it before, but since I've been really bad off lately, I thought I should bring it up with you." Then show her your meds, a doctor's note, whatever.
With friends it's different, but you just say you have reactions to certain food so you have to watch what kind of stuff you eat. If they ask you what reaction, look them in the eye and say "Intense pain and cramping. I have to take medicine for my stomach, and the medicine has side effects too, so it's easier if I just watch what I eat." Then you can decide how much about your diet you want to talk about, depending on how involved in them buying you lunch you want them to be.
Good luck!! Been there, and it sux having the same conversation over and OVER, but hey, humans are inquisitive.
~nelly~
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I agree with Nelly (while laughing out loud at her post!)
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S.
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~nelly~
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And I thought I was one of the only ones on here who uses 'stomach/digestive disorder' to tell people! My parents were shocked recently when I said I hadnt told my friends I had IBS, they didnt understand why it made a difference to say digestive disorder or irritable bowel syndrome...think you guys will all agree that that stupid 'bowel' word is a curse to us all!! Just cant bring myself to say it...plus I think its a stupid name for a chronic disorder...it sort of makes out like its not a real problem...that your bowels just get irritable every now again...like they've got some kind of attitude problem or something! Silly silly name!! 
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Natalie
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I agree 100%. One time I told someone, my bowels aren't
irritable, they are freakin pissed off. It is a humiliating name. I would like to strangle whoever came up with the name.
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Yep!
#127075 - 12/02/04 01:43 PM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Hi Natalie!
I don't mention poo or IBS either. People know what pain is. Let them hold on to that. And if I say I have D, they think it's temporary, like a bug.
They just can't wrap their minds around having D every day!!
~nelly~
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LoL - you're right about a bad name! Now I'm going to think of a grouchy, little old mad with a cane shouting at me everytime I don't feel well ...
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~*Amber*~
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Yes, it is
#127359 - 12/03/04 11:36 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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especially when you're in a public place eating out with friends, and someone asks why you are eating or not eating something. If you say, "I have IBS," someone undoubtedly hollers, "WHAT does IBS stand for?" Then it's embarrassing to have to say "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" because everyone looks at you like you with this "UGH" look on their face---like you just ruined their meal.
Well, they asked, didn't they???? They shouldn't ask if they don't want to know!!!!
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Yea we should think of a new name, thats a good one. Irritable bowel syndrome really is the worst name for a problem Ive ever heard of. We should start a campaign to change it...post your ideas...imagine if they actually did change it due to popular demand....well stranger things have happened!!
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Natalie
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