Misc. Questions
#102 - 01/29/03 02:32 PM
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Andrea
Reged: 01/29/03
Posts: 10
Loc: Va
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Okay, I have A LOT if questions about IBS that I am hoping someone will be able to answer! One, does anyone find that IBS affects their relationships? My friends understand that I get sick to my stomach a lot, but I don't think that they really realize what is going on. Therefore, they aren't always understanding when it interferes with what they want to do. Sometimes, I just want to be alone. Even having people around me makes me nervous. This makes me wonder what the rest of my life will be like. Will I ever be able to get married and have kids? Two) Has anyone found an instant relief from an attack? Three) I am deathly afraid to travel anywhere! Has anyone experianced this and found something that helps?
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Hi Andrea: Yes, it ruins lots of relationships because people don't understand. I am 59 and I think I have had IBS all my life--it just wasn't so bad in the last century.(ha ha) I guess it's up to all of us to educate those who are wondering what's up with all of us. Hang in there. I don't know of any instant cures so if anyone else does, let everyone know
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hello!
yes, i really know what you mean about IBS affecting relationships. i definitely think it's possible to overcome this, though, and have good friendships as well as romantic relationships with people. sometimes they won't understand, but the "good ones" will, i think.
once my boyfriend and i were in an intimate moment and i had an attack. NOT FUN. but he is VERY understanding, and i'm lucky to have him. i'm sure you'll be able to find a man so understanding, too. it takes time, but i think he's gotten used to me and my "bipolar intestines" as my sister calls it.
good luck to you!
Beth
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When I first began having trouble with IBS I felt miserable 24/7. My wonderful husband did his best to be understanding and supportive but I know at times he was frustrated with my situation. Several weeks ago he had a terrible bout with diarrhea himself including gas pains. As he moaned and groaned and suffered, I causualy mentioned that I knew exactly what he was going through only my suffering went on continuously day after day. I believe he had a lightbulb moment when he realized how much pain I was in on a daily basis and since that time he has never made light of one of my attacks.
I have very supportive and understanding women friends who generally seem to be more sympathetic than men do I believe. But the mark of a true friend isn't really whether or not they sympathize with you but whether or not they believe you when you say that you are not in any condition to travel or go shopping or whatever that particular day that you are having an attack. Those that go the extra mile and try and accomodate you when you are suffering are worth keeping for life.
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Hi Andrea!
I know exactly how you feel. I don't think any of my friends know EXACTLY what my problem is, because I am not comfortable sharing the full details with anyone. I'm embarrassed, although I shouldn't be, because I can't help it. You WILL be able to get married and have kids. You wouldn't marry anyone who didn't accept you 100% for who you are, right? If you date a guy who refuses to be understand or supportive of your IBS (or anything else about you for that matter), then he's not the right guy! As far as travel goes, I do it all the time! Mind you, I am the Road Trip type of traveler, I prefer not to fly. I take immodium if necessary, and I have learned how to hold it (a little uncomfortable, yes, but when there aren't many other options on the road). I am not as careful with my diet when I'm on vacation, so it always triggers an attack, but they have always been manageable. I hope this is helpful to you. IBS is not a death sentance. It just makes things a little difficult for us at times.
Jane 
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I am another example of finding a great relationship despite the IBS. My husband is very patient and understanding. I have also found many friends and family members who have taken a genuine interest in my health once I finally opened up to them. It seems that everyone knows a few people with IBS so it is becoming more "respected" as a real problem. Do your friends know specifically about IBS or do they just know you get upset stomachs? I try not to use terms like or sensitive or touchy stomach because I'm afraid people will think I'm just being fussy. I try to explain IBS whenever it is appropriate.
In terms of an instant relief from an attack (assuming you mean cramps and spasms), I have found that Bentyl will often relieve my mild to medium pains in 15 minutes or so. Has your doctor prescribed an anti-spasmodic?
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Something I forgot to mention...I used humor a lot when I was first dating my husband to help get over the embarrassment. When we can get a good laugh about my "poo problems" it's easier to open up.
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You will be able to have a family, I have a wonderful husband who never questions my pain and although he doesn't have IBS he totally supports me, even when an episode causes us to change plans at the last minute! I also have found quick relief in a medication called Bentyl...I don't have to take it unless I need to so I am not popping meds all day long, ask your Dr. about it, it really helps me alot!
Best of luck!
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You will find a wonderful person to share your life with who will understand just how difficult IBS is and give you the support you need, and deserve. This is a condition that appears to be inherent in my family. My father, then me and now my 26 y.o. daughter. Her's is particularly bad and she is struggling to find a way to control her debilitating attacks. The relationships that cause her to most trouble are the ones where she works. Many folk there find it difficult to understand why there are times when she is absent for days at a time due to an attack and her need to sleep for up to 12 hours afterwards. Fortunately her boss, her father, is understanding and as worried as I am but she seems to be slowly coming to terms with IBS and how to control it. Stress, of course, aggravates the problem but in the end it was triggered by 3 courses of Roaccutane she had as a teenager for severe acne - no mention here in Australia of any problems with this except for birth deformities if pregnancy occurred within 3 months of ceasing the drug!!
She is having trouble finding something that will enable her to cease taking ever stronger drugs for the pains. Any suggestions will be much appreciated.
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