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Re: I Cried Yet Again..... new
      #10045 - 05/27/03 04:13 AM
tlc

Reged: 03/06/03
Posts: 207
Loc: Australia

I'm writing to you again as I thought of perhaps another way around this (I hope). Is there someone who you can talk to (ie a guidance officer/teacher at school, an adult etc) who would be skilled and supportive to actually sit down with you and your parents to discuss the issue. You parents want their concerns put to rest about their fears about you not eating - and you want to be able to eat - but eat the right foods. Perhaps with having someone play mediator, you could talk openly and have a third party somewhat 'guide' you all to a positive solution..

can't tell I'm a teacher eh? hehehe

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Re: I Cried Yet Again..... new
      #10053 - 05/27/03 06:22 AM
Zaftig1

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 92
Loc: USA

I never thought about it until your post...but maybe I'm a bit lucky. EVERYONE in this family needs to avoid high fat food, either for weight reasons (2 of my kids) or IBS reasons (me), or diabetic reasons (my husband). So when I announced we were switching to a low fat diet, no one complained...not much anyway.

We still go out to eat, but certain places are now 100% offlimits, like KFC or any place where the vast majority of foods are fried.

Hang in there! I will keep you in my prayers.



--------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A waist is a terrible thing to mind".

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Re: I Cried Yet Again..... new
      #10056 - 05/27/03 08:43 AM
BarbaraS

Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 1939
Loc: Wisconsin

Hang in there Angela!! Two more days! Will either of your parents be with you? If not will your mom come with you if you ask?
Barbara


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Re: I Cried Yet Again..... new
      #10063 - 05/27/03 11:45 AM
wac

Reged: 03/24/03
Posts: 61
Loc: Casselberry, FL

Angela, I don't think I can really come up with any other tips besides those already given. I would definately print out some information (maybe from the Internet and/or Heather's books) and really try to have a heart to heart with your parents. Cyring really helps. Once you get into how IBS makes you feel (unconfident, scared, helpless, alone,not to mention the actual physical pain) maybe they can understand a little better. I find that it's really difficult for people to know where I'm coming from because my "disease" is not terminal and you can't see evidence of it on my body. People don't "know" the pain we are in when an attack occurs. My boyfriend will lie beside me holding my hand so I can squeeze when the contractions hit. He'll put the heating pad on me and get me water. He hates it that I'm hurting and I think if you can really drill it into your parent's heads what's happening they'll hate that you're hurting. Tell them how much the support of the boards helps you and how great it would be if you had some support at home. I'm not sure how old you are (it sounds like you're pretty young) but can you buy some of your own "safe" foods? OR - the most drastic - move out. Let them know how much stress affects you and how great it would be if they could help you. Another thought - can you see any type of counselor (school or private)? I have my MA in Guidance Counseling and I can't tell you how important it is to talk to someone who's paid to listen. Good luck and keep posting. We're always here for you.

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Re: I Cried Yet Again..... new
      #10067 - 05/27/03 01:51 PM
annmarie

Reged: 03/31/03
Posts: 133


I hope you don't have Crohn's, but if you do, I hope your mom doesn't think you won't have to modify your diet. Before I was diagnosed with IBS, I still was told to modify my diet for my Crohn's. It's not as restrictive, but you are encouraged to eat a low fat healthy diet. I was also told to cut out red meat, caffeine and watch my dairy intake. Fortunately for me, my Crohn's is a mild case and I am able to so far keep it under control with one medication. Even though IBS isn't considered a "disease," I find it much more difficult to manage. To tell you the truth, I've been having a lot more difficulty lately, and I was actually hoping it was my Crohn's. I know that sounds bad, but I also know there are other medications my doctor can give me for that, and there's nothing he can give me that's going to put my IBS in remission. But it's "just" my IBS, so I have to try and do my best to manage it. I'm sorry you don't have the support of your family right now and that you aren't in a position to make some choices on your own. I know you said you mom is also going through testing, so I hope for her benefit as well as yours she gets a little more education on these matters. Hope you feel better soon!

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Re: tlc new
      #10068 - 05/27/03 01:54 PM
ConcreteAngel

Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 612
Loc: New Jersey,USA

yes, i have tried telling my parents that if i eat a huge fatty meal, yes i'll gain weight, but then i will get a bad attack aand just lose it again and that i can eat alot just out of good food... they didnt really understand. I guess its hard to understand when youre not having the pain yourself.

--------------------
-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name

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Re: Barbara new
      #10069 - 05/27/03 01:56 PM
ConcreteAngel

Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 612
Loc: New Jersey,USA

Barbara- yes both of my parents are coming with me... Lets hope for the best!

--------------------
-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name

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Re: You hit the nail on the head! new
      #10073 - 05/27/03 04:02 PM
KinOz

Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 909
Loc: Brisbane, Australia

Angela,

You're right! I think it's terribly hard for others to understand the debilitating effect and the amount of pain that IBS can cause. I even get people saying "are you better now"? as if it's something that will just go away.

On one hand it's annoying because you think that if they really cared they'd make an effort to understand, but on the other hand when I think back to my pre-IBS days I realise that I never really gave good digestion a second thought and would have found it difficult to imagine the daily struggle that is IBS.

Having said that though, I do believe that if someone really cares for you they should make the extra effort to try to understand. I think the fact that both your parents are going with you is a good thing and shows that they do care. It looks like it may take a lot of time and persistence but I'm hoping that eventually they'll come around for you.

One thing that helped my husband to really understand was the companion CD that comes with the IBS Audio Program. I think you can buy it separately as well. It is designed specifically for family and friends to listen to, to help them understand what you're going through.

One thing I've realised too is that this IBS is hard on my husband and son as well as being hard on me. I know my husband feels frustrated that he can't fix it for me or find a way to "cure" me. And although he has never complained once he has had a dramatic change in his life too, different food, cancelled plans, not eating out as much, etc, etc.

I gues I'm lucky that he has accepted it all and supported me so much and I'm sure that in time you parents will come around too.

I'm really thinking of you Angela,

Kerrie

--------------------
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.


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Re: You hit the nail on the head!-Kerrie new
      #10077 - 05/27/03 04:37 PM
ConcreteAngel

Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 612
Loc: New Jersey,USA

Kerrie, Thank you so much for your help and support. I know exactly what you mean by people caring and trying to understand. I guess its really hard for them to adjust to me and sometimes I think they want me to be well, so if they ignore my illness and pretend that it doesnt exist, maybe it will just go away. I know deep inside they do care but they sure have a funny way of showing it!! My dad bought me a pack of gummi worms today and gave them to me while I was having agonizing stomach pains. I was in bad pain and the least thing I wanted to see was food! SO I know he means well, he just really doesnt understand.

--------------------
-Angela
Healed in Jesus' Name

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Re: I Cried Yet Again - sent you an email reply....n/t new
      #10092 - 05/27/03 07:44 PM
KaybeeC

Reged: 03/14/03
Posts: 241
Loc: Ohio



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