A bad night ruins my happy mood and I can't stop crying - so much pain
#88348 - 07/09/04 03:16 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi all,
I was so excited to be going out tonight - My boyfriend and friends have been goign out so often lately and I always either don't go, or go home early 'cause I want to be well for work the next day, am trying to get enough sleep, blah, blah, blah... but tonight is Friday and I was so excited to be going out to the pub, and then out to go dancing in a club.
I was fine all day. No D Attack in a month as of yesterday. So I get all dolled up, and out we go.. I feel a bit funny before we leave, but just ignore it and decide it's nerves.. So as we start walking and get these stabbing pains in my stomach. Like it takes my breath away. Again, try to ignore and carry on... So we get to the the pub, sit down for a bit and now I am having to slouch over in my chair as my stomach is hurting so badly. Try and breath, try and be calm.. but my eyes are watering as the pain is so bad and it's making me feel dizzy and like I'm gonna be sick. So I decide that's it, I am going to go home and chill out and if I am feeling better when they are gonna go from one place to the next, I will re-join. So boyfriend walks me home, and it just keeps getting worse. Pains so bad, all through my stomach. And I really think I might be sick. Takes ages to get home, I'm crying now. Get upstairs to my room, lie down and just LOSE IT. I mean really lose it. The pain is so bad I can't stand it, but more than that I was _so excited_ about going out. I was so thrilled at the idea of getting some semblance of a normal life back, and it just got snatched right away.. or so it felt, anyway. I just couldn't stop sobbing and sobbing and shaking and my boyfriend kept sort of arguing with me, telling me I shouldn't be upset, that it doesn't matter but I _am_ upset and it _does_ matter to me because I have been so looking forward to it.
I still feel so upset, and the pain is so bad that just sitting here to type this is agony.
I am so upset. 
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Aww, Steph...
#88351 - 07/09/04 03:27 PM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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Just sympathy and *hugs*. I was so excited a week and a half ago, I was feeling so good... and then wham. I've gone a week now where all I can safely eat is crackers and water. I know all about the crushing disappointment.
I know you're in a lot of pain, but try to relax... have a bath, and dig out the heating pad... and I really hope you feel better *quickly*.
*hugs*
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I'm so sorry you are in pain and couldn't go out with your friends. I know how bad that must make you feel. Do you think you could have eaten anything that brought on this attack? What did you have yesterday?? Could it be food poisioning or the flu? You have been doing so good I hate to see you have a setback. I bet you will feel better later after you rest for a while.
Good luck
Barbie
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This IBS business sure is a roller coaster, isn't it? It's so frustrating when you think you're doing well and then something like that happens.
Next time tell you boyfriend just to let you be sad so you can move on. Nothing is more aggravating than someone telling you how to feel!
Feel better soon! Have some peppermint tea!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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I hope you are feeling better Steph. I was doing well for 2 weeks and now out of nowhere, i was sick this morning. The last few times I've been out with my friends, by the end of the night, i always have pain and all i drink is water. go figure. I know you're bummed, but keep your head up. It will get better.
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Things happen for a reason...just believe
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Steph, it sounds like a full-fledged attack. Don't you have some antispasmodic meds? You need peppermint caps, Hyoscyamine, or even Donnatal.
Did you find out what caused it? Do you keep a food journal? Just when you were doing so well. Hmmm.... what could it be? Did you increase your SFS? We need to find the culprit.
I can understand your frustration; I've felt that way many times. But it's worse for you because you're so young and want to go out and play. I am SOOOOOO sorry you're going through this.
Please try to find the culprit so it won't happen again. And, while it's upsetting, you WERE doing much better, right? You just had a step back, that's all. Tomorrow it'll be two steps forward. Meanwhile, baby yourself -- and let the BF help you with it. Take a hot soak in the tub, then curl up in bed with a heating pad on your tummy and some Tummy Mint tea. Sleep it off.
Keep us posted.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Man that BLOWS..
and I can sympathize.. sometimes I just want to pull a fit and say what the h-e-doublehockeysticks?!?!? I am 22 YEARS OLD.. I want to go out and have fun.. and not have to crap my brains out at any given second.. Its like i'm a slave to IBS.. I don't even let myself have fun sometimes cause i'm so worried about having to go on the way there.. or being stuck at someones house and having a bad bout of D.
I can totally sympathize.. especially since EVERYONE around us can eat pizza, and drink tons, eat fried mozzerella. I mean my ex(vinnie) wouldn't even plan pooping in his day.. its not even something he thought about or planned his day around.. I mean he just like went whenever he had the chance...ISN'T THAT THE LIFE?!?!? we dated for a looong time and were very comfortable with each other and I'd always ask what does it feel like to have a normal bm.. he would look at me like I have five heads and say I never thought about it.. I was like how can you tell you have to go?! I can't even imagine what it would be like to be "NORMAL"
Sorry if this message is a lil incoherent.. but I had a few budlights before writing.. hehe. lucky i can do beer. thank the lord.. I can participate in some 22 year old activities.
Anyways, I'm sorry your big night out BLEW.. it especially sucks when everyone around you.. especially your boyfriend.. can walk back out and meet up with everyone when you're sitting in pain. ugh..
let me know how you're feeling now.. and if you made it back out.. and caught up with your man!
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Sweetie!!!!
#88419 - 07/09/04 08:55 PM
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peaches
Reged: 09/28/03
Posts: 1183
Loc: Fort Wayne, Indiana
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I'm so sorry!!!!! Maybe you could plan another night?? I'm SO SORRY!!!!!! I totally know what that feels like! It pisses me off every time! Now that I work in the restaurant, everywhere around me is like, onion rings and cheese fries, cheeseburgers, and STEAKS (it's a steakhouse - ya know  ) and when my coworkers order fried shrimp, I have to give in!!!! IT'S SO YUMMY!! Thankfully we usually get food at around 10:15-30 and we close at 11 so it's alright. My mom's worried I'm gonna start smoking because that's when she started. Working in a restaurant when she was 16. But I don't plan to start smoking, so I think I'm alright 
Get better, Stephie!! (You don't mind me calling you that, do you? I heard it on Full House when I was like, 8 and I've always loved it lol )
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It comes down to the art of living on [color/red]
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Hi all,
Does anyone else get that? Like, the night before is the attack and it's AWFUL but the next morning isn't so pleasant either? Like a hangover.. without the fun of being drunk the night before? 
Anyway, that's for all your replies. I don't know if you noticed but it sort of stopped abruptly 'cause I was in too much pain to keep sitting here and typing last night, so I wasn't able to come back and read replies or anything! I had to lie down on my tummy, on a heating pad and try not to move. I went downstairs at one point to make myself some tea and could barely make it back up the stairs, but was trying to 'fake it' so boyfriend's parents didn't see me - I know I shouldn't but I still get really embarassed about being sick. I hate being that girl that's "always sick". I made 2 huge cups of tea - one was fennel and peppermint from fresh stuff and one was peppermint and cammomile from a tea bag. I dunno if they helped, or if it eventually just passed on it's own or what...
As for the anti-spasmodic, I was on one 'til I went to see my new doctor. I didn't really notice any improvement on them. He told me to stop taking them after my first 2 weeks on the anti-depression medication 'cause it should do the job. Was that wrong? Should I take peppermint capsules when this happens? How many can I take? I ask because once when this has happened before, I took one and it did NOTHIN'. So maybe I should have taken a couple? I dunno..
Last night I also took a WindEase in case it was trapped gas but it didn't help at all.
I cannot believe how awful last night was.. I've had _a lot_ of IBS attacks but that was the most painful thing I've ever had. Today my stomach is still hurting quite a bit, and I have to stoop over a lot and think I will end up back in bed.
I am supposed to go to a "Beach Party" at the pub I used to work at tonight, but I think I will just not think about it 'til later on when I don't feel like someone is drilling holes through my belly.
I ate pretty normally yesterday, the only thing I can think of is that I made some garlic toast and when I wasn't feeling well, it kept repeating on me.. nothing horrible, but since it did that made me think maybe it was the culprit? I dunno..
I still didn't get any D, just this horrible pain. Bah, it's coming back more now the longer I am outta bed. I'm starving 'cause I didn't eat any dinner after that and it's almost noon now but I dunno what to eat. Maybe some toast, and then potatoes for lunch?
Thanks again for all the responses, and being so understanding.
--Steph
P.S. For Ashley, I totally know what you mean about other people not even thinking about going potty. I once thought, "I wonder what it's like..." and asked one day and they said basically the same thing. My boyfriend was like that too, except lately his stomach has been really acting up. He knows Guiness does it to him, and spicey food.. but he carries on eating them so I figure it can't be that bad!! Still, I think the rushing to the toilet once in a while has made him a bit more sympathetic to it.. although he is still completely clueless about why it makes me so upset when things when last night happen... men.. oy.
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Steph,
I am so sorry that you were feeling bad last night. I am a little behind today responding.
I was having a bad night myself and all the same thoughts went through my head I would love to just be normal and not have to worry about bathrooms all the time. I saw a couple walking outside today eating ice cream and I was very envious. It does feel like we are slaves to IBS at times. Then there are other times when we feel great and don't think about it as much.
Take care of yourself today and I hope that you are feeling much better.
Janey
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Janey
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Thanks
#88458 - 07/10/04 07:27 AM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi Janey,
Thanks for the post, I'm sorry you were having a bad night too. And I know what you mean, I see people walking around with ice cream or McDonalds, or something and think, "Man, I wish I could just run into McDonalds and get something to eat or have an ice cream when I wanted one!"
I am not feeling well today, a few hours ago I was in a lot of pain, then I drank 2 cups of really strong peppermint/fennel tea and now I am just really, really nauseous with some cramping. I haven't gone potty yet today, but I am not that concerned yet as I went about 3 times yesterday!
I dunno if it's related, but I've been coming down with a cold the last couple of days and today it's full on. I have a croaky voice, and my nose is really blocked and I keep coughing and sneezing. Whatever the reason, it just makes me feel worse. Stupid body.
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Hey there, Pretty Lady!
I never took my antispasmodic every day, just AS NEEDED. Some of the antispasmodics don't do anything for me either. NuLev, for one, is totally worthless. Hyoscyamine doesn't work when my cramps are really bad. But Donnatal works EVERY SINGLE TIME. Because it has dangerous side effects, I only take Donnatal when my cramps are unbearable. Thankfully, I haven't had to take the stuff for several months now.
You had a bad attack; when I have them, I also have a "hangover" the next morning, especially if I haven't taken any Donnatal.
I can't really answer your question about antidepressants. I was on an antidepressant but it caused cramping, so I quit. But this is an issue that you should take up with your doc.
Steph, is it conceivable that your attack has anything to do with anxiety? I mean, you were looking forward to last night's partying, but maybe your tummy wasn't. And now you're anticipating this beach party with your pub group. Any anxiety there? Think perhaps your tummy isn't looking forward to it?
The worst attack I ever had was on a Saturday morning. I was supposed to go to a party that night at my boss' home, a "command performance." The following day I was supposed to go to another party at my best friend's house to celebrate her anniversary, again a "command performance." I wanted to go, but my tummy did NOT. I was doubled over in pain -- no diarrhea, just cramps -- and had to make my way to both parties in misery. I spent the entire time in the bathroom, trying to poop, thinking it would relieve the cramping, but I was all pooped out. Then, at the second party, shortly before it was all over, I was standing there, talking to a friend, and suddenly I felt the cramping flush through my body, down my legs and out my feet. Sound weird? Maybe so, but that's what happened! I had done NOTHING to cause it to go away.
I think the tummy has a mind of its own....
Steph, I've noticed in a lot of your posts that you focus a lot on what other people think about your "sickness" and your having to go to the bathroom. Is it possible that your concern about this is actually causing your tummy to rumble?
I think I've asked you this before, but I don't recall your answer. Have you given any thought to Michael's program? I think he might be able to help you; he's helped so many of us, especially me. I was SOOOO anxiety-ridden before Michael!
Hope you feel better soon.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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For Bev!
#88467 - 07/10/04 07:56 AM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hiya!
Thanks for replying again. I think it might have been anxiety related.. mostly 'cause I can't think of another reason! That's why when it started, I just tried to ignore it and go on anyway 'cause I thought once I relaxed and stuff it might go away. But it just got worse and worse 'til I could barely breath.
Maybe next time it happens, I will try taking the anti-spasmodic I was on before the anti-depressants.. er, should I ask my doc first to make sure they'll be okay together? Don't wanna bad reaction to add to the list.
And yup, I have a biiig problem with other people + my IBS. I tell myself it's not a big deal, but then I can't help thinking about it. Just the image for some reason of people wanting to know why I left, why Adrian (boyfriend) had to walk me home, etc.. People calling Adrian up on the phone and getting pissed at him for bailing on plans when he leaves with me makes me want to cry, and I try and just ignore it but I can't. I feel so embarassed, even to people who know what's up.. because nobody my age seems to understand.
I am on Michael's program, and I like listening but I haven't had a huge change from it. I might need to go through it more times, I guess.
I have just decided to spend this weekend in and try not to think about anything else 'til my gut settles down. I have an important course on Monday, and then am leaving for Spain at 4:30 in the morning on Tuesday so I must get better by then. I will not let my stomach ruin my beach vacation!! As for my pretend beach party tonight, I am going to stay in and watch a video. I am so nauseous today that I can barely stand, and even though the pain seems a bit better since drinking a bunch of tea, I don't wanna risk making it worse again. I also have this lousy cold at the minute that is blocking up my nose and making me cough and sneeze all the time so maybe my body is just insisting on some rest or something.
Boyfriend has gone out to get some gingerale to flatten 'cause it usually helps my nausea (I tried to eat some crystallised ginger, but was gagging to throw up as soon as I put it in my mouth.. ew) and the "Along Came Polly" video, and some baby potatoes to boil for me for lunch. I am back in PJs and plan to take a hot bath as soon as my nausea fades a bit (otherwise the warm water just makes it worse!).
I know I'm a total head case, I'm working on it.. I tell myself it doesn't matter, but it _feels_ like it does, you know? I don't know if it makes sense.. like my head thinks one thing, but something else says otherwise.
I am gonna go get a chess board now, boyfriend is gonna teach me how to play when he gets back.
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Steph, AW HECK!! I'm SO SORRY you got so sick again. I just want to reach through the computer screen and put my arms around you and rock you like a baby, you poor sweetie!
Yeah, I totally get the IBS hangover. I even have a note to myself in my Palm Pilot from when I was still working to remind myself that the week I'm PMS I'll probably have an attack and .... have to take the next day off!! That's how bad my hangovers were. I had to call in sick! But I'm better now so don't give up hope. Okay?
Feel better, sweetie.
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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Chess for Steph
#88490 - 07/10/04 08:53 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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I LOVE CHESS! I used to play when I was a little girl -- and I was damn good too! -- I actually played against adults -- and won!
Okay, enough bragging. Suffice it to say I'm outa practice; I'm sure I'd lose big time if I were to play today. Fun game. You'll like it.
Yes, you should DEFINITELY talk to your doc first about the drugs, before changing anything. I was almost about to take an over-the-counter drug for my allergies, but happened to notice a little warning in small print, not to take it if on blood pressure meds. Whew! Just in time. I called the doc, and he said, "good thing I called!" He gave me a nasal spray prescription. Drugs definitely interact each other.
When you call him, ask about Donnatal and see what he says. (It's in the family of barbituates.  )
Do you have any Equalactin? It'll settle your tummy down before it starts rumbling. Remember, if you can't get it in England, you can order it online (before the beach vacation): web page
Steph, I think you should be up front with your friends about your condition. For so many of us, just the process of "getting it all out" is very relieving; it gets rid of the anxiety about trying to hide it and makes us feel a lot lighter. Listen, everyone has something wrong with them -- no one is immune. You don't get through this life scott-free, believe me! Knowing that you have something wrong makes you HUMAN and endears people to you, it makes you just a little less perfect, more "approachable." Having an irritable tummy is nothing to be ashamed of! You don't have to mention the word "colon" -- the word "tummy" will suffice. Maybe this will help: web page
I know you don't feel like eating, but how many hours have you gone without any soluble fiber in your tummy? Please just eat a piece of toast; you'll be amazed at how much it will calm your tummy down. I can't go overnight without something in my tummy; this morning I got up at 2:00 a.m. and popped a slice in the toaster, then I was able to go back to sleep with no tummy problems at all, then had another slice of toast when I got up at 8:00. No cramps!
Girlfriend, you may tell yourself it doesn't matter, but your subconscious is getting a different message. If Michael didn't help the first time around, by all means go around again. Mags went through the program twice and finally got help from it. Marilyn went through it THREE times 'till it "kicked in" for her. Don't give up, whatever you do!
BTW, the BF sounds like a gem. He truly cares for you, doesn't he? Let him baby you, then. Curl up in bed and let him serve you flat gingerale and some toast. Enjoy the attention; we all need it now and then. And when Adrian gets an upset tummy, it'll be your turn -- and he'll see how wonderful it is to have someone care for you.
Bev
P.S.: Enjoy that Chess game!
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Wow, I suck at chess! Ha ha, I think I need some serious practice before I get anywhere near good at this game!
As for the food, I ate a bit of white french bread this morning that didn't seem to do much, but just now I had some pretzels and water and am feeling less nauseous. We are gonna go down and boil some potatoes, and I might have a small piece of baked fish if my tummy feels up to it.. I feel really shakey if I don't get any protein and I haven't had any since yesterday AM.
I think you are right about friends.. in fact, I know so. We have one friend who I feel totally comfortable around because he's always having potty trouble, and I told him straightaway about my IBS.. at first, it was still a bit uncomfortable but now we can talk and joke around about it even. It's just other people that aren't so accepting.. like I tell them about my stomach, but they just sort of look blank. Or people I don't know very well who come out with us. I will get better about it, I'm sure.. just need to relax a bit to the idea.. which I am admittedly not good at!
Okay, it's potato time!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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I myself can't go out at all. I have about 10 bms a day. what's yalls frequency?
When it comes to friends the frustrating thing is you'd like to just get new ones that are more understanding but ibs abviously doesn't let you. so you have to reason with unreason, for lack of a better term.
Dame these anti-depressants make me absent minded. I doesn't help that I was a little absent minded to begin with.
From your posts you boyfriend seem careing. And we must always remember that the healthy can't understand what it's like to be ill. I think is just a matter of some people having the capacity for empathy, and some not. As an example my mother does, however my father has a total lack of it. He's one of these people whos pain is worse than anybody elses. He's totally selfcentered. Now my sister whom I email a lot seems to be caring. she said the other day how pms alters the mindset and veries from woman to woman. Of course being the youngest with 3 sister I've learned this the hard way. 
anyway that's all the anti-dep's will let me remember for now. Oh yea, I wanted to mention a movie that always brings me down to earth. If you havn't seen Shawshank redenption I recoment it.
peace.
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Life is but a memory on the breath of a dying man.
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Awww Steph
#88529 - 07/10/04 11:45 AM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Awww Steph,
Sorry to hear that you had such a bad night Sounds like maybe we were suffering together...I spent alot of last night crying in pain too.
I don't have much advice but I wanted to tell you I totally sympathize with you, I hate the fact that I can't go out and have a normal life, especially at my age when everyone else spends their nights out going to bars, movies doing fun stuff, and half the time I spend my night with my new best friend...the toilet.
And your comment about work really struck a cord with me, I'm totally the same, I often won't go out and do things because I know that I need to work and I want to be good for work, and it's so frustrating because I feel like I never get to have any fun.
One suggestion I do have is that maybe part of the attack could have been brought on by stress because you were so looking forward to going out? I do that to myself sometimes, I'll get myself totally psyched out because I've been waiting so long to actually go and do something, that I'll end up making myself sick (at least I think I'm making myself sick).
Anyways, I really hope your feeling better today and that you have a better night tonight 
Kelly
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Hey Steph,
Just wanted to throw my two cents in the mix about your switch from an anti-spasmodic to an anti-depressant. I think that alot of the time anti-depressants do really help the tummy, but part of having them help is finding the right one, and sometimes that can take a lot of trial and error. I was on Paxil about 3 years ago and it did wonders for my tummy, but the side effects were too unbearable so I had to go off it and haven't settled in to a new one yet (though I am trying).
In my opinion, I would still have an anti-spasmodic while on the anti-depressant. You may not need to take the anti-spasmodic all the time, but you should maybe see if you can get a prescription for one so that you at least have it. I think maybe part of the reason that the doc suggested you just take the anti-depressant could be because a lot of the anti-spasmodics have sedating effects which can be magnified by anti-depressants. For example, I just started taking Librax (which is a combination anti-spasmodic/anti-anxiety) and it can be sedating, and I'm still on a VERY low dose of Paxil, so I was warned numerous times that it may make me very sleepy.
Also, I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but it's been my experience that when you're younger, doctors are more reluctant to have you on a lot of drugs that are potentially sedating because of the negative effects alcohol consumption can have on them. This has just been my experience, I always get the third degree from doctors about how I really shouldn't consume any alcohol in combination with the drugs I'm on...and I think they just assume that if you're younger your not going to listen and drink yourself sick. Just a thought
Hope that helped a little,
Kelly
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Hey Luther, how ya doin today?
10 BM's is alot but I'm pretty sure there's others that I've heard mention numbers like that, and that the diet and fiber supplement and the right meds helped them reduced the number to a manageable level. When I have a D attack, it's always three BM's, one after the other, about 15 minutes apart until I'm all emptied out. But I've been stable 6 months now thanks to this program, so I'm varying from two a day to one every two days. I've never been a regular once a day person so that schedule is fine for me.
I know someone else who's favorite movie is The Shawshank Redemption. It's been on my list, but haven't gotten to it yet.
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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I'll testify to the diet making a big diferance. I still have the frequincy but the stomach pains are almost nonexistant. Heather's advice on soluable figers is a life saver. Nothing like a baked potato. Also I find yogurt helps too.
Still every now and again I get the stomach ache and am reminded of how I don't have them near as much as I used to.
I should also say that the takeing away of the stress of working and going out has helped the pains too. Thank lucifer for anti-depresants!.
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Life is but a memory on the breath of a dying man.
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Re: Steph
#88564 - 07/10/04 03:00 PM
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Janey
Reged: 10/25/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Maryland
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Steph,
Poor baby. Not only a stomach ache but getting a cold too. I am sorry to hear that. I hope you tummy is feeling a bit better tonight. Mine is better, haven't gone to the bathroom today but my tummy has just been hurting all day.
Take care,
Janey
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Janey
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