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OMG - you guys are so cool! Thanks for all the replies, you don't know how much it means to me. Things have been kinda hairy at home. I'm still trying to find a place to live, but everything is either nothing available yet, too much, doesn't allow pets (my dog is going with me no matter what!!!), etc.
Actually, it was my decision to end it. Although I love Chris, I don't feel in love with him and I don't feel we should be married. I think I felt like I should be with him, since he's the best guy I've ever been with and treated me great. We were civil - he even agreed he didn't want me to get married feeling that way - but the past week, he's been acting funky. I just want to get out so bad. He's barely speaking to me now and it feels so awkward in my "home".
Anyway, he's been really creepy with the computer too. So, I haven't been getting online at home. I've been checking my email from work. When I was still getting online at home, I went into my email and some were marked read! I think he's snooping through my stuff - not that he's going to find anything, but I still don't appreciate it. I'm super sneaking at work right now to log on here and praying the "cyber police" around here don't bust me, but I was just dying to say thanks for all your kind words and let you know what's going on. Especially since I said I'd be back then disappeared again. I did get a laptop last night - now I just got to get internet on it. I may be going to stay with my dad soon if I don't find my own place. Which I don't mind anyway, because he's got a nice, big inground pool!
Oh yeah - and to top all this off, last night I got into an accident! Nothing major - it was raining and I went to stop at a stop sign. There was a car in front of me and I tapped the rear of her car. No damage, just my plate got a little bent. Well, the cops said no one was at fault, no tickets were issued, and no damage to the cars. As a matter of fact, the cops were actually really cool! This was a first for me. I was terrified of course, because this is the first accident I've ever had. The one cop just kept telling me that's why they call them accidents, relax, calm down, etc. He even pointed to his car and said he'd done the same thing in his car, so don't worry about it. But, of course I had to tap someone's car that complained her back was injured and got taken off in an ambulance. Great. Now, I got to find out what's going to happen with this. This is like the cherry on top.
Or maybe the fact that I just found out my raise didn't get approved, and I probably won't get it till Dec/Jan now could be my cherry.
OK - enough whining and crying from me. But gosh, that felt good to get out!!! Thanks again everyone. I will try to check back in ASAP. Maybe I'll be a rebel and sneak back in from work again! lol
I really do miss you all and wish I was around more. *sigh*
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That stinks Mags! I do know how hard apartment hunting in south jersey is, not sure if things are much better around your way. Good luck- you'll find a place soon. Good to know that you are holding things together okay- but I hope you do get outta there, it has to be really awkward. (P.S.- if he is starting to act REALLY weird, pack your bags and get outta there ASAP!It's better to be cautious in these kinda situations)
-------------------- -Sheri
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Change your password! I wouldn't want anyone knowing my private business!! And I'm really glad that your accident wasn't too bad and everything's ok!
Good luck apartment hunting! I'm sure everything's going to work out for ya!!!
-------------------- It comes down to the art of living on [color/red]
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Hey Mags... sorry things are rough right now. You were really wise and brave to call it quits before the wedding though. Rather than just go along with things and regret it and have to deal with divorce or other things later.
I hope you find an apartment soon and that things look up for you!
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Mags,
I agree, very brave of you to call it off. I felt I didn't want to marry my first husband but I didn't have the courage to not go through with the wedding. The marriage didn't even last 3 years. I knew it wasn't right from the begining. You have to go with your gut feeling.
Good luck finding an apt. The right one will come along. At least you can stay with your Dad until you find the right place. So sorry to hear about your accident. I am glad that it wasn't worse.
Hang in there.
Janey
-------------------- Janey
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So Sorry Mags
#90464 - 07/15/04 01:34 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Hi Mags,
Sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time right now. I really admire your courage in following your heart and doing what you felt was right for you...that takes a lot of guts. I'm sure you'll be happier in the long run.
And about your accident, I'm so glad it wasn't more serious and that you're ok I totally understand what you mean about freaking out...I'm completely intimidated by the police, I haven't had my licence very long but was pulled over a few months ago for having expired plates (oops) and was so shaken I ended up crying like a little girl while he issued the ticket
So I'm really glad the police were nice to you.
Hang in there sweetie, I hope that we'll be seeing more of you around the boards soon.
Kelly
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Maggie May,
I am glad to have found you on here. I haven't been on here in so long, but wanted to see how you were making out. I am so glad that you and CG were able to end things civil. It will be funky because it's strange to live with someone in a different relationship.
Take care hon, and if you need a place to stay until you get on your feet, feel free to slide on up to Canada, I would be happy to house you!!! LOL
((HUGS)))
-------------------- Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Lana Marie!
#91667 - 07/19/04 09:00 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Hey, Pretty Lady!
How WONDERFUL to see you back here! YAAAY! Are ya gonna stay awhile, IhopeIhopeIhopeIhop?
We sure have missed ya, Cutie-Pie!
Bevvy
-------------------- <img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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