confessions of a shy person......
#85320 - 07/01/04 11:00 AM
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Nugget
Reged: 02/10/03
Posts: 2167
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....Ok....OK.....I just can't get this off my mind about my husband making the comment the other night about me being shy. So here goes some more venting.....
first off....being painfully shy for as long as I can remember, I have worked hard as I have grown older to overcome it. If I hadn't worked hard to overcome it I would not be where I am today. I would have never gone away to another state and big city to college by myself. I was scared to death to do that, but I did it. And I am better for it. If I hadn't worked through my shyness, I would probably still be working at K-Mart and living by myself. If I hadn't worked through my shyness, I would have never had the courage to give our "match maker" the OK to give my phone number to the man who became my husband. If I hadn't worked through my shyness, I would still be working with an @$$^*!~ for a boss and not had the guts to tell him "I quit!" 9 years ago.
So there....I'm not so shy after all....but I will always be shy to a point.
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Nugget -- ?
#85325 - 07/01/04 11:23 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Did you tell these things to hubby? He needs to hear 'em.
{{{{Smooches}}}}
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Hey Nugget,
Why do you keep beating up on yourself about being shy. Don't be so hard on yourself. I am shy to a degree, too. My husband is the outgoing one so we make a great couple.
Being shy has it's good side, too. It's very demure, feminine and loyal. I would rather be a little shy  than obnoxious (sp?) and loud and rowdy  ! Listen to Bev. If you feel like you need to reassure your husband that you are not shy....tell him what you told us. That doesn't sound like a <<<< too shy>>>> person to me.
Now you go tell him who's boss ----- after you give those dogs a hug !!!!! he he
Barbie
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no....I'm thinking about writing them down...because I get tooo damn emotional...ya know? He's very understanding....but it hurt my feelings.
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Hey, Nugget, maybe you're not *shy* but *introverted*. You seem to have done loads of brave things in your life, which hardly sounds like you are paralyzed or pathological in any way.
Next time you're at the library or bookstore, look for "Type Talk" or "Please Understand Me". Alternatively, look online for "MBTI" or "Myers-Briggs" and look into the introversion stuff. The one-second definition is that you're an introvert if going to a party with people you don't know sounds like an energy drain. I pretty much max out the introversion scale, myself! 
As far as any research has shown, ones level of introversion/extroversion is inborn and is not something that ought to be "fixed". Trying to be an extrovert when you're not is incredibly exhausting and stressful! And you know that stress just brings on the IBS attacks.... Being an introvert means that you can really enjoy being by yourself and thinking or reading or gardening. And we're just as fun as extroverts once we know someone for long enough. (My introvert pet peeve is when idiot extroverts start saying "oh, you've come out of your shell in the past year!" No, jerkweed, I just don't reveal myself to people when I first meet them - I've stayed the same, but you've gotten to know me.)
So take a peek at those books or websites and see if you just need a bit more time to yourself than the average bear.  I know I'm way happier when I accept my introversion and only go out and socialize when I (and my IBS) are up to it.
--AC (who is an INTJ by the way for you Myers-Briggs fans)
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It's possible to be obnoxious AND introverted! I feel very comfortable debating and sharing my opinions in an academic setting. However, I am extremely introverted personally and it is hard for me to make friends and for people to get to know me. So I'm a loud, rowdy person and yet still totally shy! What can I say, I'm a freak. 
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Hmmm... what are the odds? I'm an INTJ as well, but I guess only 1% of the population is?
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Quote:
Hmmm... what are the odds? I'm an INTJ as well, but I guess only 1% of the population is?
Yeah, and it's even rarer among women! Go figure...but I wouldn't be surprised if INTJs are prone to IBS. (My mom makes three of us INTJ IBS'ers - OMG, it's acronym madness ) People stress us out, and the J means we're control freaks, so that sounds like a recipe for IBS.
Yeah, I can be totally obnoxious when I know what I'm talking about. Back when I was an academic, no one who only knew me professionaly thought I was shy! But get me at a party with strangers....well, you could call me the invisible woman....
--AC
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What kind of academic were you? I'm most of the way towards being an academic myself (unless you count doctoral students, than I already am). I'm glad to hear I'm not alone! 
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