A few things that went through my head.....
#85087 - 06/30/04 03:00 PM
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Nugget
Reged: 02/10/03
Posts: 2167
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....last night when hubby said I needed to get over my shyness.....I went outside and put some more paint on the house (almost done)....as I was painting all these things I've heard all my life started going through my head and tears were rolling down my face as I was painting.....
Things like:
"don't mind her...she's real shy"
"you shouldn't wear bright colors with your reddish hair"
"she has big calves like me"
"she's going through that chubby stage"
"quit crying"
"toughen up"
etc., etc......
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Nugget,
You are a wonderful, caring person. It is ok to be shy. I have always been very shy. If there weren't shy people in the world there would no one to listen to those who love to talk.
These days you can wear anything and any color no matter what your hair color is. Anything goes. We all have our own special qualities and we all come in different packages on the outside. When I see your picture I see a lovely woman.
What was said in your past is in the past. All your friends here love you and think you are great.
Janey
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Janey
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thank you so much Janey.....You are great. I do wear bright colors now that I am older....because I like them and they make me feel cheerful. I don't mind at all being shy.....but boy if anyone says anything that I don't think is right....I'll let them know....I'm not that shy. One day two of our managers were arguing in my department and I yelled at them to take it outside. ...and they did. Then all I heard was "the quietest person in the office...shy little "nugget" told them to take it outside!" {{{{hugs}}}} Thanks again Janey. I love my friends here.
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My sweet little Rusty with his toy moo moo cow.
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oh, yeah, all those voices in my head. A friend of mine cured me of this by saying two things over and over til I got it.
"What other people think of you is none of your business!"
and
"Stop letting them live rent-free in your head!"
PS, I used to be shy and now you can't shut me up!!! The Effexor will help. Make sure to try a higher dose before giving up on it. I take almost 300 mg a day after a very slow very long time increasing it.
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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I have a feeling that your hubby fell in love with you because of your hair, your personality, your shyness, and your looks.
My husband is very shy, and that was one of the things about him that appealed to me.
Don't change who you are, there's only one of you. I would definitly miss "Nugget" if you changed. AND I suspect that your husband would too.
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thanks for the kind words....it's just so hard sometimes....as we all know. Only we can understand truly. Right?
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thanks for the support once again, Laura. You always know what to say. I will keep those two thoughts in mind.
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thanks for sharing your adorable photo of your beloved "friend". I like the bunnies, too. Thanks again.
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I know it's hard to forget when people say things that hurt your feelings, but you have to realize it's thier problem, and it must stink to be them and see the bad instead of the good in people. I am sure your reddish hair is a trademark that makes you you and unique from everyone else. Think of all the girls that go get their hair dyed red!
I hang onto negative thoughts, too (I'll remember something someone said to me long after they forgot, I've been accused of making things up). But, part of the recovery of being shy and easily embarassed is letting things go.
Ever think that someone brought negative attention to your bright clothes because they were jealous you had on such a pretty outfit? 
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-Sheri
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thanks for the kind words.....I don't know what I'd do without my friends here.
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Now, you're shy .... and have reddish hair. So?????
I'm overweight ...loud and obnoxious ...and have the most pitiful fine, stringy hair.
The point is--everybody has their faults! But everybody has their strengths too. What are yours?
I can write a story in my head (honest--- after I interview someone, I recite the whole thing, from beginning to end, to my husband. He just laughs! I think everyone's brain works like this.
If I concentrated on my faults, I'd go crazy. I'm a terrible cook, I can't sew or do anything with my hands, and I can't sit still long enough to watch a movie or tv show (this drives my hubby crazy!) But thankfully, he accepts me as I am--and loves me despite all my weaknesses.
It sounds like you have a great husband. Now, I wanna hear what you're really good at. What are your talents? What do people praise you for? (I bet I'll be jealous when I hear your reply.)
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- Jennifer
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- Jennifer
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...I don't normally talk about my talents unless someone asks....
• I'm artistic....I can draw portraits and animals from photos. I do crafting with polymer clay...
• I write poetry....it started coming very easy for me after my grandmother passed away
• I have a knack with animals....I can become friends with just about any furry creature I come across
• I can make people laugh...I have a good sense of humor
• I am there when others need me
• I am loving and sincere and loyal
• I am a good cook....I like to experiment with new recipes and make them my own...I like to make Christmas goodies and give them as gifts
• I am good at finding arrowheads
• I am good at ice fishing
• I am a good wife and love being married
Thank you for asking
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Wow, Nugget!
#85401 - 07/01/04 01:56 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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How did I know you were this incredibly talented person? I would love to be that creative. I've always wished I could draw. Do you do commissioned pieces for others? I would love to see some of your work. Would you share some of your artwork and poetry with us?
See, you do have a lot of talents. I'm the one who should be depressed. Besides my writing talent (which I'm not sure is a talent!), I don't have a long list of gifts. You got your fair share when the Maker was giving them out. I would die to have just one of your talents!
So what if you're shy? You are one terrific person, unique in your own way---and certainly loved by a lot of people---including us!!!!
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Beagle Lover!
#85403 - 07/01/04 02:03 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Wow, what a terrific post! BeagleLover, you ROCK! I just love everything you said here. You couldn't have said it better or been more helpful. I love ALL your traits -- yes, even the obnoxious one (well, maybe not that one....). I too have pitiful, fine, stringy hair -- and it gets worse as I get older! ARGGGHHHH! I'm wearing hats now a lot more than I used to. But you know what? I look good in hats! Yeah, I do.
I'm overweight too. Hey, we have a lot in common!
It's amazing how we're never happy with ourselves. And, Nugget, that's what we need to work on. Remember what Michael says about positive thinking. Being shy isn't a negative thing at all; many people prefer that to being loud. Just think of how much you absorb while others are all talking at once.
Beagle Lover and I have thin hair -- but I bet she looks as good in hats as I do.
Take those negatives and turn them around to a positive.
I agree with Beagle Lover (although, actually, I'm a Westie Lover myself!) -- look at your talents. You have them. I too would like to hear what they are -- from both you and Beagle Lover. (BTW, BL, what's your first name?)
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Nugget, sweetheart, you have SOOOOO much going for you! You need to tell yourself a little more often. Perhaps that's what hubby meant. Sometimes men just don't know how to say the right things. ("Sometimes"??!?)
Having compassion for others and always being there for them is the best trait anyone could have; you should be very proud of yourself.
And the first thing I look for in anyone is a good sense of humor.
You have it all, Nugget.
Your friend,
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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I have really fine hair too, fine and straight, and big feet and I could loose 15 pounds. I also wear glasses and have a lot of freckles.
I agree with everything beaglelover said too. We all have our faults but I try not to think about them and only focus on the good things. Well, I do think about the fine hair thing all the time and wish it was think and wavy.
Nugget you have many more good traits than negative ones, I saw your list.
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Janey
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I think the word is "assertive." My husband always lets me negotiate with salespeople because I'm not afraid to ask for anything. (all they can say is "no," right?) What's funny is they usually say "yes"---and I get a bunch of things thrown in---just for asking!
I've been known to embarrass my husband and boys, but hey, somebody's gotta ask the questions, right?
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he's always assertive with sales people and we usually get things thrown in just for asking. but, sometimes he doesn't know when to quit and I feel bad for the sales people. I've learned to be more assertive because of him.
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Thank you Beagle.....for making me think of the good things about me instead of the bad....I appreciate it. I'm just going through one of those "pitty me" times I guess. It's so frustrating as all of us know. I don't know what I'd do without the support of my friends here.
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thank you for always being there.....I am working real hard on thinking more positively....I think most of it this time were the darn hormones and PMS....but I was hoping the Effexor would help that...but I haven't been on it that long. I go to the doc today for a follow-up on the Effexor and I will ask him. I feel real bad because hubby and I had a long talk last night and he said that he's not sure how to act around me yet because I'm so different...he said at first it was a good different, but I have had so many ups and downs lately he doen't know when and what he can say so as not to upset me. I hate knowing that I have put him through that. I told him that I have a lot of emotions that nobody has ever seen until he and I met because I was living by myself and I hate that he has had to see me at my worst. I also told him there are a lot of things I have worked through by myself that nobody knows or will ever know about.
It's scary at times and sad to think I have put him to the point of not knowing how to act around me. I want so bad to assure him that I am fine and not crazy or anything. You Know? I want him to have a normal happy wife.
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thank you.....I'm trying so hard to get better. I look forward to the day when I don't have to worry about my moods and when I feel better about myself. Most days I do feel pretty good....but it's those bad days that can really knock me down.
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I'm going to get over this......I'm going to get better....I'm not going to let anything stop me.....today is the beginning of the new me. Right?
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Honey, you're a woman! Don't apologize for that! This is what we go through. Hubby needs to accept it, just like all our hubbies do. He should talk to Don. Don would tell him stories about what he's had to put up with me that would make your hubby's toes curl.
It's called hormones. One moment, you're wired, the next you're a quart low.
Let me tell you a little story.
When I was very young, they discovered I had some kind of very strange genetic defect (turns out it's very rare, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 38!). Anyway, the doctor didn't know what to do with me, so they put me on hormone replacement therapy. I remember the reaction that I had QUITE WELL! I wanted to be all alone, away from everyone, to crawl into a hole and never come out. Then, when anyone was around me, such as a friend, I didn't want them to leave, and I'd cling to them and beg them to stay with me. It was the oddest thing I've ever experienced.
All it was -- was hormones. I had to take those damn things all my life, and, while the reaction I had from it leveled off a bit, when I had my surgery in 1983, the hormonal situation totally went out of control. I was crying incessantly, and for no reason. At one point I almost committed suicide; it just looked inviting to me, like something I really wanted to do.
Hubby loves you for YOU -- that includes those wild and wacky hormones. So he'll learn to accept you and your low moods as well as the high.
Do you really think Hubby would prefer a boring wife? Just give hubby a squeeze and a big, juicy kiss, and tell him to "hang on; it's gonna be a ROUGH ride!"
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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...I do have a very wonderful husband. I couldn't ask for any better. And he is very understanding....but I know it's just as frustrating for him as it is for me. I think I have more good days than bad. That's a plus.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}} I appreciate all your comments and support.
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Hey Nugget,
I have read all your posts and understand to some extent what you're going through, but I know you can get through this. Remember that you've got some very supportive friends on here that will never judge you so you don't have to feel that you must ever hold anything back.
Also, we all have very different personalities. Some of us are shy-er than others. SO WHAT, that is who we are and we should not have to change for anyone. I was very shy as a child (I am only 18 now mind you) but I've definitely got a little less "shy" with time. Mind you, sometimes I hate the word shy, because there's nothing wrong with being quieter than others. Like someone else said, you just have a kind, gentle, more introverted nature. SO WHAT!!!! That's you and you should be proud of it!!!
*Don't forget we're here for you!*
OH yeah and also, we want to see some pics of you Nugget!! Oh no, I also don't even know your first name!  What is it??
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You say you are 18? You are very wise for your age....I am twice that!
Thank you for the advice. I'm beginning to understand that I just need to be happy with what I am. Ya know?
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