Ashley!
#73430 - 05/25/04 06:08 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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Well, you can always spend time together at different apartments! Although I really love having Simon to come home to, soemtimes I do miss the days when we were dating and living in separate houses on different sides of town. Time together was really special. I mean, we had proper dates! And I got to spend evenings in the bathroom with a glass of wine and a trashy book! It's not ALL bad.
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yeah I hear ya linz... I'm upset, but smiling. Its not gonna be so bad. He's reiterated the fact that we will be fine, and maybe it will work out for the best. I'll get my own cute little place and now maybe we really will appreciate our time together more. Since living together we've gone on less and less dates. Maybe that is one thing to look forward too.
I've just never been in grad school and I'm worried i'll be so incredibly busy. but all i can do is think positively. worrying about it isn't going to change anything and will probably just pull us farther apart, so I might as well look at the good side of everything. thanks for the support hun.
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Re: Ashley!
#73477 - 05/25/04 09:08 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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Even if you are busy, you can always keep Friday nights special for "dates" and then take homework round to his place at the w/e. And in the evenings, you could try making yourself work really hard as soon as you get home, but set yourself a time when you're going to finish and go over to his place.
If it's meant to be, it'll work.
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Has he had a chance to calm down? Are you guys talking? Or is it still akward? I hope everything has setteled down! Enjoy these last few days you have with each other.
Will you guys see each other over the summer? Oh..and how long have you been dating?
Just wondering how your doing! Take care! 
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First off, Thank you for all of support steph!
We have started talking, and things aren't akward anymore. I don't think we will be able to reach a compromise about living together anytime soon, but at least we are on better terms. I figured I could get mad and be angry for our last few days together, or I could realize this is out of my hands and start finding ways to work not living together.
So things are going better, we're focusing now on how we will make this work. I don't want him focusing all summer on how mean and angry I was before I left. I want him to remember good things about me. One good thing is that I feel less attacked, it still hurts, but I don't think he did it out of spite.
We have been dating for about 2 yrs now, and living together for about 1. We were friends for the last five years however. He's older than I am (he's 24, I'm 22), and was my supervisor at my first job in college. So we have known each other much longer.
And to answer your other question, we will be able to see each other this summer. It will be an eight hour drive, but he's planning to come and visit, and I'm planning a visit, and we will hopefully be able to meet in NYC for a few weekends beause that is about halfway. We won't be able to see each other as often as we'd like, and lengths are all dependent on our jobs but at least its only until the end of August.
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Well you know how much I love living on my own, so I hope you enjoy it as much! Something about having a pink bathroom with a flowered shower curtain just makes me so happy! I really do think that living seperately will help solve some of the problems you were having earlier -- mainly not setting aside time for dates. Now he won't be able to take you for granted, and you to will have to plan, just a little bit, to spend time together.
Also, as busy as I have been in law school, it's a lot different from college. If you are anything like me, you were involved in a million different clubs and orgainzations in college. Even social obligations felt mandatory. In grad school it's totally different. Sure, you have a lot of work, but usually that's ALL you have. You can handle it, and you'll definitely still have time to see Vinnie. Plus your classes won't go straight every day from 9 -5, so you'll find you have a lot of free time while he's at work. You saw Vinnie go through grad school this year, and he certainly had time for you and his friends. You will too. You have the right attitude now; just make the best of the situation and hope it works out. 
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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Amanda,
Wow, what a post! Intelligent, eloquent, articulate, compassionate and logical. I especially liked the use of circuitous, I had to get out my dictionary for that one . No wonder you're going to be a lawyer. You don't happen to have any cute law school friends do you? haha just kidding
Ashley,
I agree with what Amanda and most other people have been saying in that you must try to just remain calm about things. I think that there is probably a big combination of concerns going through the BF's head right now and the best thing you can do is just enjoy the time you're spending with him and let him figure things out. Guys do like their space, BUT, if you really are important to him, he WILL come to you eventually for advice or support. Most guys, ok, me at least, like to have some sort of different solutions to a problem in their head before they go to someone for help, so while they're figuring out this solution they may seem a bit distant.
One other thing to consider is the commitment factor. The general stereotype is that guys are scared of commitment. While there are definitely guys who will never go on more than 3 dates with the same girl, the opposite holds true for some women. I think the difference lies in their willingness to express their commitment. They don't want to promise the world until they are sure that they can give it to you.
A girl I dated in college got into a University an hour away and we weren't sure what was going to happen in the relationship. She wanted me to say to her that I wanted to be with her the rest of my life and I was sure we could be married etc. Now, could I see myself married to her? yes. Is she an awesome person? yes. Could I say that I wanted to marry her? No. I was totally not ready yet. I, and I think a lot of guys also, will not mess around with the M word. So I couldn't / didn't say that and we ended up drifting apart and eventually breaking up. However, now we are like best friends and even though right now both of us are single, we have no desire to get back together, we really are better as friends.
Now I'm not saying you guys would be better off as friends, I'm simply saying that the BF doesn't want to make any promises too early. He's happy and comfortable with the way things are and is not ready yet to change it. Getting upset at him will not help him to move into that zone of feeling more comfortable with things.
From your last post though, it sounds as if your just going to enjoy your time with him now. Which I think is a really good thing.
Linz, Kandee and Patricia, Thanks for your kind words, it's too bad all my recent relationships have been utter failures though! 
Jamie
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Aw Jamie,
You are the sweetest. Sorry I don't have any cute law school friends to set you up with. Most of them are so super-uptight that they have no sense of humor, no smile, no joy. You deserve better than that! This may be self-defeating, but I would never ever suggest dating a law student. Even those of us who know how to have a little fun are still crabby and irritable 90% of the time. Do yourself a favor, and stay away, at least until we are out of law school (when we will be crabby, irritable, and RICH.) 
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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Right On, Amanda!
#73568 - 05/26/04 09:36 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Good advice, Amanda. I worked for lawyers for 30 years. You're right on. Jamie deserves better!
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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TeeHee ... just don't tell my boyfriend to stay away from lawyers!
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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