Problems with work, stressed out
#66009 - 04/29/04 02:34 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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I just got a call from my immediate superior at my job saying that she is having to submit to their "third party investigation company" regarding my intermittant absences. I guess from a work standpoint it looks worse when you miss one or two days here and there, rather than one long block (i.e. a week). Of course, with IBS, you're much more likely to have intermittant days, and because I'm still undergoing testing to even make sure it is IBS, I've missed even more.
I know I don't really have anything to worry about because my doctor will advise them that I do require periodic days off, it's just that they're trying to come up with an "allowable" number of days (i.e. 3 per month is permitted) and I don't like that because it makes me stressed out. I can't control what happens and so I don't like knowing that I get so many days, any more and I'm going to be let go.
I'm so stressed and frustrated, I don't know what to do. I try really hard to do my job and do it well, but I can't help it when I get sick. Monday I got up, showered, had my herbal tea and was good to go, and about 1/2 hour before I needed to leave I got the most crippling cramps I have ever had, and ended up not making it. So then I felt terrible because it was such short notice, but I could barely even get to the phone to call and tell them...obviously they wouldn't want me at work like that.
I don't know what to do anymore...just needed to vent I guess. I'm not too happy that I'm being "investigated" even though I know that all my absences have been completely legitimate. Does anyone else have trouble holding down a job? Any advice?
Kelly
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Working With IBS
#66018 - 04/29/04 03:01 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Can they do that? Can they "let you go" because you are sick? I believe it's against the law in California. I know, you're not in California -- but you might check on that.
Obviously your employer knows nothing about IBS. Certainly if he/she did, he'd be more understanding (I would hope). Why not print out the info in here about how to tell your friends/relatives about IBS and take it to your boss, sit down and explain what you're going through.
I hate to hear this -- as if you didn't have enough stress to deal with as it is! What are your chances of looking for a better job, one where they might be a little more understanding? Do you love your job that much that you would allow them to curtail your number of sick days? If so, then are you willing to have them "dock" you for those days over and above their minimum?
I'd get some info from the boards here and a medical notice from your doctor and present that to your employer; if they don't respond well, then I'd look around elsewhere.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Hey Bev
#66021 - 04/29/04 03:08 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Thanks for the info Bev. What did you mean when you asked if I was willing to have them dock me for the days I wasn't there? Do you mean as in them not paying me? Because yes, I'm totally fine with that and I have made that clear to them, but it doesn't seem to matter.
To be perfectly honest, I don't know if they can fire me, but they're taking a pretty big step in hiring this third party medical company to investigate me, so I guess it'll depend on that company's view of IBS. You know how many doctors and others out there think it's "all in your head."
I've been crying most of the afternoon, because I don't want to have to get another job. I like mine and it pays very well, better than anything else I'm likely to get because I'm not done school yet. Plus, I don't think I'd make it through the 3 month probation period anywhere else with the number of sick days I've required.
And I have brought in many notes from my doctor, stating that I have a legitmate and potentially serious medical problem that is being investigated and that I may require periodic sick days. They (the employers) say that because they aren't doctors there not in a position to judge what are reasonable periodic sick days. SO basically, this company consists of "medical professionals" and they take the info from your doctor and determine precisely what is reasonable, so there is no need for guessing, and then they help support you so that you don't get in trouble for being sick.
There are potential positives here because apparently this company can sometimes help you communicate with doctors and get things moving along, which would be good, I'm just upset because with something like IBS, you just can't nail down a specific number of days. I've had times where I'll go months with virtually no problems, and then have a month where I might be really sick for 10 seperate days! That's why I'm having so many tests done, to figure out exactly what's going on and get it properly treated...but I can't make the doctors move faster 
Sorry, I'm just really upset and can't calm down, at least venting here makes me feel better 
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Whoa, Kelly - they're going to get a third party doctor to get personal medical information from your doctor about you?  Wow, there must be a huge difference between Canada and the US in that regards!
I know in California, they passed a bill in 1996 called the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). Part of this act includes setting very strict privacy regulations to ensure that no one gets a hold of your information. Some doctors offices have even removed patient sign-in sheets to protect their privacy! In HR, we had to enforce a lot of new procedures too when signing employees up for benefits.
Anyways.. going off on a tangent..  (Can you tell HIPAA has been a headache for me?)
I was blown away when you said in your post that a third party company is going to consult with your doctor.  That's not right - they shouldn't be able to do that. I think I might feel a tad violated if someone other than my doctor and his staff were to read my medical records and report them to my employer.
I would look into Canadian employee rights laws to make sure your employer is in the right! Again, I don't know much about Canada politics, but hopefully things will get better!
Good luck!
- Jennifer
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- Jennifer
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Kelly.
#66040 - 04/29/04 04:01 PM
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jenX
Reged: 08/11/03
Posts: 3252
Loc: Richmond, VA
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sorry you're going through this. i really wish i could help you!
i actually got suspended because of my sick time. and here's the worst part: it was because my doctor wouldn't sign my paperwork "because he'd already signed it before." well, unfortunately every time we filled it out, something little was wrong with it and they wouldn't approve it for "long term intermintent leave." anyway, i had to take yet another day off to go to his office and sit there with him while he filled it out. (guess it was "ok" for him to do it then, 'cause insurance was paying for his time.  ) anyway, i was suspended for 3 days without pay and put on a discipllinary action that prevents me not only from getting a promotion (which i was in line for) but also from moving laterally into another department. it will take 6 months to clear that, and every time i am sick they extend it by the # of days i am out. we're now in mid-August before i'm "free."
so i can definitely understand. this is the whole reason i am terribly anxious to start this chocolate business. the sooner i can get that started, the sooner it's a success which means i'll be able to quit the normal job.
what encourages me about your situation is that you say when this independent group comes in, often they are able to facilitate things between you and the doctors. i know you're miserable and really having a rough time with this... this whatever it is (IBS or whatever).
i think that's encouraging news. Kelly, there's no way they're not going to find that you are suffering and having trouble even getting a diagnosis. and they're going to be able to check your records and see how often you are sick! this could be great news. i would like to suggest that you jump on this opportunity! do they talk to you? maybe you should immediately tell them how glad you are for their help and that you've heard how helpful they can be. ask for their help! what do you think....? this could be a great help to you. i certainly have faith that they will back you up. you're sick!
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Jobs
#66041 - 04/29/04 04:02 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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Ooo, this sucks! I haven't got much input cos I have no idea about your employment laws. Do you have Disability Discrimination Laws and would IBS fall under them? I think it might here.
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Hey Jen
#66051 - 04/29/04 04:22 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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THanks for the input. Your situation sounds very similar to mine, my job will also suspend you without pay for your absences and that prevents promotions (grr). Need a helper in your chocolate business (joking)
Anyways, I am trying to look at it as a good thing, because hopefully they'll be able to help. I was checking out their website and they have a ton of really good information on IBS and IBD, including the fact that some sufferers of IBS are so bad that they do chronically miss work, so that's encouraging. I also found out that they have an endoscopy suite just two hours from here with dedicated GI doctors who only treat people who belong to the organzations that use their services (I work for a really big company) and they do colonoscopies and endoscopies and all that there. I wish someone had told me that before, I might not have had to wait four months to get mine done!
Anyways, I'm trying to be optimistic about it...I just want to get better, and hopefully keep my job in the process.
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I don't know much about the laws here, but Im pretty sure it's legal ... it's a really big organization that I work for and I doubt they'd do anything innappropriate.
Plus, it's not that they give information to my employer, they evaulate the info from the doctor and basically just let my employer know that my sick days are valid. They don't actually give any personal information about my condition out (thankfully) they just verify that you're not faking sick pretty much. And then, provided you're not faking, if it's something chronic, they support you so that you will continue to get paid and not get harrassed for your sick days.
So, in theory it sounds like a good thing, but that's just in theory, so I guess I just have to wait and see...
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Vicam:
I can certainly feel for you..as I also find myself stressed out at work..bringing on horrible gas and bloating..Thank goodness I found Heather's site. It saved my life..Recently discovered Equalactin..cannot say enough about it..have you tried it yet? Perhaps you should take it before the cramping starts..when you are going to have an extra stressful day..you have my best wishes for pain free days..let me know how things turn out..are you drinking hot peppermint or fennel tea? It really helps me..always drink tea in the afternoon now..
Cheers,
Olgis
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Good luck with this Kelly. At least the business with the other doctor will mean your condition will be validated at work. It can't be legal to sack someone because they have a chronic illness.
And don't make yourself seriously ill by not eating. No job's worth that.
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Please Don't Cry
#66131 - 04/29/04 06:50 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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I can't stand someone crying, especially my friends.
I do think it might be a mixed blessing if they "can help you communicate with doctors and get things moving along." That's great! If you get some help from doctors, then you can get better.
Honey, is it possible that we can get you stable? Stable enough so you don't have to take so many sick days? What can we do to help you? We've been working together for a long time, and it seems to me you're doing everything right, but maybe there's something else we can work on?
You have the Equalactin, I know that, and you have your meds. You're not cheating, right? Not even a little? You're taking your fiber, getting your exercise and drinking all your water -- you're doing everything right, yes?
If so, if you are doing everything right, then Girlfriend that's ALL YOU CAN DO. If a company wants to let their employees go, then really there's not much we can do about it. I understand you like this job, but there are other jobs out there. You really don't need the extra stress of worrying about this job. Three month trial period, eh? I hate that. Of course, it works both ways. They're on trial with you, you know; after all, you might not like THEM.
I'm really in the dark here, because I don't know what you do for a living -- but is it something you can do at home? Work out of your house, perhaps?
Let me think on this awhile and see if I can't come up with some suggestions for you..... but please don't cry. We're here for you.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Thanks Bev
#66145 - 04/29/04 08:11 PM
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Vicam
Reged: 02/24/04
Posts: 1955
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Hey Bev,
Thanks for your offer to help, anything you can come up with would be great
I'd love to get stable obviously, and I'm not cheating at all. I'm ridiculously strict with what I eat, absolutely no cheating. Of course, part of the problem with me is that I still don't know 100% that it is IBS. That's the assumption, but I'm still waiting on a few more tests, so maybe it is something else and that's why all this other stuff isn't working.
I am drinking my water (I drink a lot) and I have a lot of fennel tea, I have GERD so I don't drink the peppermint very often, although I will have some if the cramps are really bad, because frankly, the heartburn is more tolerable. I'm taking my Acacia although still at a fairly low dose (about a teaspoon and a half throughout the day) but moving up slowly.
I really can't see anything in my diet that's causing it, and I don't know what else to do. I get moderate excercise, I get my rest...I don't know. I think alot of it may have to do with my having been trying to get off Paxil, and maybe my body just wasn't ready. I think I may have to suck it up and go back on an anti-depressant (I have anxiety and mild depression) because the Paxil really helped my tummy.
As for my job, I work for a bank and I work in a call centre doing telephone banking, unfortunately not something I can do from home. to be honest, I don't know if the company has anything that I might be able to do from home
Thanks again for your encouragement, definately let me know if you come up with anything!
Kelly
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O' I just read this and I felt like I had written it!
I started to get really sick in Oct. and didn't know why...
I started with my Family Dr. and ended up at a Gastro Dr. a month later...Between Oct. and Feb. I had missed 27 days of work. Then I had the worse episode ever at the beginning of March and was at a breaking point...So, I took a medical leave and requested STD. I staied out of work until this past Monday but, with the changes I have had to make in my life...I didn't go back to the job I had previously! I found a new job working for a dear friend of mine who knows what I have gone through and knows I will have good days and bad days...How crazy is it that I was on medical leave but I was making things worse by stressing out about not being at the one place that made me the sickest!
Change is good and for that, life is better!
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There is a law that will allow you to take time off of work (without pay - bummer) to have the time and energy to gain control over your diet and symptoms...
This means, you can take off work up to 12 weeks and your job has to hold your job for you...They can not fire you!
Do you have Short Term Disability insurance?
If you don't...get it! You never know when you may not be able to work for an extended period of time and STD leave will cover up to 21 weeks with pay with a few things from your Dr...
Good luck!
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Hi...I am new here but have been reading your messages about your job!
I have advice as I am in banking too and just quit a job because of the treatment I was getting because of being out of work with my medical problems...
You can file a leave of absence for up to 12 weeks and they have to hold your job. You won't be paid but it would give you the time to go to the Dr. and sort out what is wrong.
Do you have Short Term Disability insurance?
I can tell you about that too...
I was so stressed out about the way I was treated at work because no one understand IBS or any digestive problems unless they have had them the same way we have...
The stress got to be too much that when I felt better and that I had my diet under control and have been feeling soooo much better, I quit and got a new job!
Stress is hard to deal with if you are wired at your tummy!
Hang in there...
Any questions I can answer about your job and about leave...Feel free!
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