NOT FUNNY:
Quote:
A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My God, Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU !?!?!"
FUNNY:
Quote:
A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon.
When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?" "Oh, it was beautiful," says the man. "The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we--"
His friend interrupts him. "A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?"
"Oh," says the man, "we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..."
FUNNIER:
Quote:
Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . . 600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . . please instruct!
Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot. . . repeat after me:
"Our Father, which art in heaven . . ."
FUNNIEST:
Quote:
A young man speaking to his Maker, "God, I was wondering...how long is a million years to you?"
God answered, "Son, a million years to me is like a second to you."
So the man asks, "God how much is a million dollars to you?"
And God answered, "Son a million dollars to me is like one penny to you."
So the man asks, "God, can I have one of your pennies?"
And God answers, "Just a second, son."
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joke of the day (better late than never)
that last one is hilarious!!! 
