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Kerrie; sorry for your loss. I loss both my parents to cancer. It is a cruel disease.
You do know that here on this board we are here for you. We are here for anyone that has its ups and downs.
Glad that you are trying to "normalize" yourself. Take it one day at a time. If you fall down just pick yourself up and try again.
With you spending money; just take a piggy bank , or something that you can't get into, and everytime that urge hits put the money that you thought you would spend in the IVF bank ! ( I did this when I was quitting smoking, urge to smoke- 5 bucks in the pot; saved lots of money).
You also know that you can post anything here.
Take care of yourself, glad to have you back. Have a good day today!!! Sue
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Kerrie,
So very sorry to hear about your father-in-law. It's so sad! I've no doubt that you will meet your goals and it will all happen at the right time. Just wanted to say that I'm really sorry to hear of your sorrow!
Terri
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Hugs
#53088 - 03/22/04 02:37 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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So sorry to hear that Kerrie. Cancer is so horrible.
I know what you mean about shock - one of my oldest friends died a few years ago from a brain tumour. She was well and happy one day and a couple of months later she was dead. It makes it even harder to deal with in a way.
You are so strong. From your posts, you really seem to be gaining strength from all your troubles instead of letting them overwhelm you. I am so impressed. You are such a strong woman. Hold on to the thought that you are strong and you will get through all this.
I think your list of "to-do's" is really impressive! You're really going to get your life sorted.
Thinking of Bali is sure to help you concentrate on stabilising. Just think about relaxing on a beach with a happy tummy! Why not start baking some safe goodies that you and your son can make and enjoy together. I loved baking with my Mum when I was little and it'll help your IBS too. I know you want to get your sugar intake under control, but maybe if you have some Zucchini Bread to snack on, you'll stay away from the lollies and junk at least?
Good luck with the yoga!  I'm trying to practise more regularly as well.
Maybe if you write down the lollies you've eaten, etc on a piece of paper stuck to the fridge it'll help more?
Good luck!
Linz
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Hi Kerrie,
Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and we will do everything we can to help support you in your goals and life. Best wishes!
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- Jennifer
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Hang in there, girl. Sounds like you've got a good game plan. Remember to be kind to yourself. Try not to be too hard on yourself - you're going through a really rough time. I'm so sorry about your father-in-law. All I can say is I'm praying for you, and you WILL get through it all somehow. You did the right thing by coming here and letting us know what's going on. We're here to support you, as you supported me through my rough times.
Love and hugs, Han.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Thank you everyone. Bev, I printed out the guidleines you posted for me. They are wonderful and I feel I can relate them to my miscarriage as well. I also want to show them to my husband because it will be really helpful for him too.
I am going to try the piggy bank idea both for the lollies and the spending -it's a good one. I'll let you know how I go. I'll also try the lolly note on the fridge.
Now for today,
I'm happy to say that I did go to Yoga last night and enjoyed it very much. I also walked my dogs this morning. I found it hard to motivate myself for that but the dogs were definitely grateful.
I went to the shops to get a travel money belt for $20 but I also bought a backpack for $30, memory card for the camera for $120 (though we will need it in Bali so I don't feel too bad about that), an oil burner, some incense and candles for about $40 (I didn't really need those).
So even if I don't count the memory card I wasted $70 today. I will set up a piggy bank and try fining myself half of what I waste.
Any other ideas for this spending problem? It is out of hand.
I did fairly well with the lollies as I didn't touch a single one up to lunch time. I deliberately didn't buy any but after lunch I was scrounging around in the pantry and pinching one of my son's lollipops, followed by another and then two iceblocks. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kerrie
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Kerrie I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there and know you have lots of prayers and support on the board.
It is good to know your father-n-law had alot of caring people show up at his funeral.
Your spending problem is your way of dealing with stress (and you have your share of it). Good friends of ours like to spend too much money. They went down to one credit and got rid of the ATM card. They put their credit card in glass of water and put it in the freezer. When they wanted to buy anything they took the glass out and by the time the water unthawed it gave them time to think about if they really needed to use the card.
Good for you for getting back to Yoga and taking the dogs for a walk. Those are great stress reliefs.
Hang in there Kerrie and know you are in my prayers and thoughts.
Barb
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my prayers are with you and your family
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if God brought you to it. He will bring you through it.
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Kerrie
#53266 - 03/23/04 08:24 AM
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StephS
Reged: 09/11/03
Posts: 2123
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How about only taking just the amount of money you need with you go shopping. Like if your going to the store right down everything you need then estimate how much money it will cost to buy it all. Then only take that amount with you. I guess you would have to take cash! But that might work! I know that helps me. I don't want to look dumb at the cash register when I don't have enough money!!! That helps me to buy only the thing I need and came for!!!
As for the sweets ( lolliepops) just take it slow! Sugar is a hard thing to get over! Just put some in a jar and say this is all I can have today...when there gone there gone!!! Each day put a few less in the jar! Pretty soon you will have better self control over it!!!
Great job with the yoga, and walking the dogs. I bet they were happy!!!
Take care, and good luck with everything!!! Keep us posted! 
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Oh how all of our thought and prayers are with you.
I can relate to the spending thing. I've resorted to a number of things, like asking myself in the store if it is a "want" or a "need"? Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Lately, I've just HAD to bring it home, even if it was a "want". Don't ask me why. (just because I proved I could?) Lately I've just let it sit, tag on and all. Then in about a week after thinking about if I really needed it I usually take it back. Just that process makes me feel good, after all I DID have it a while, and I guess that's what mattered.
As to the sugar thing...........ug.......I have a problem there so not much help. Only think I know to do is NOT have it in the house, or at work.
Let yourself grieve, and give yourself plenty of time. I lost my mom almost 2 years ago. I'm still not over it, but I schedule in times to be sad. It helps.
You reminded me I too need to get back to yoga classes. The tapes just sit here and don't get used.
Good luck........you will be fine.........it just takes time.
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