sex
#38314 - 01/17/04 10:49 AM
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This may seem like a wierd question but I was wondering how all you ladies manage to have a normal sex life with IBS. When my stomach really hurts, I just don't feel in the mood, which is not making my fiance happy... any tips for me?
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Re: sex
#38332 - 01/17/04 12:10 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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First of all, define "normal." Secondly, when I have an attack, there's no way anyone -- ANYONE -- is gonna touch me ANYWHERE! My hubby wouldn't dare come near me! (And I don't really think he'd want to! )
-------------------- <img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Umm... yeah. My husband knows that when I'm not feeling well it's not a good time. Hopefully your fiance will be understanding about this? I mean, your condition is not going to go away... and having sex with someone who's miserable doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.
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Before I went on Paxil, I had a huge sex drive. And when I had an attack and didn't feel good, sometimes the sex made me feel better. I forgot about the attack. I know, it sounds strange. But I think that if you don't want to, and just don't feel very sexy, then don't. It's always better when you both can enjoy it. A little side note, a little tea and then a spritz of perfume would help me sometimes.
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Re: sex
#39928 - 01/23/04 02:15 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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Try getting him to make you lots of herbal tea. And give you a shoulder massage. Or have a hot bath together. Anything to relax you both and make you feel better. On the practical side, try doing it on your side so there isn't pressure on your tummy.
At the end of the day, you're not going to feel sexy when you're mid-attack. Make sure you enjoy the times in between attacks, to make up for when you hurt to much.
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Re: sex
#40176 - 01/23/04 05:14 PM
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fishnets
Reged: 10/09/03
Posts: 515
Loc: MA
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My boyfriend has been soooo good about things! I used to always push him away, my tummy would always hurt(before I knew what to eat). He pretty much knew that after I ate dinner, there would be no sex that night Now my stomach is a lot better and I rarely push him away due to my IBS!
-------------------- IBS-C
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Re: sex
#43372 - 02/05/04 03:21 PM
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Fia
Reged: 07/21/03
Posts: 56
Loc: Sweden
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I can't belive that you didn't get more answers!
I have a very understandig partner and I guess that is #1! I've got a baby, IBS and vulvar vestibulitis - it's hard to find the perfect moment for sex. If you think it's OK (I know that many girls find it disgusting) I just give him sex with my hands and mouth - he is happy and I don't have to feel guilty! It took a while to convince him that I was happy and more satisfied whith a back massage and no sex. I say that it's quality and not quantity that counts - at least for us girls!
Good luck!
Fia
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Have things changed much since you last posted this? Hopefully your boyfriend will become more understanding. Mine was the same way for a while, then he came to realize truthfully the effects of IBS and how I did not want to be touched when I was feeling bad, now he does not mind, which makes both of us happy and reduces the stress on me! I just take advantage of those times I am feeling good (no symptoms), or like others said....take a hot bath (even together) and some peppermint tea, perhaps the mood will even make you feel better.
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Thank you for asking. Since getting the acacia, and drinking the pepperimint tea, my stomach has been feeling better. He was a little mad at me in the beginning because I had only been watching what I eat and not really taking any extra fiber, or anything else to help my symptoms. Now that he sees me drinking my tea and mixing my fiber, he's layed off a bit on pressuring me to do something so in return my stress level is reduced and everything is great!
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