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Ruchie, unfortunately I don't have much more advice than you already have.
Just wanted to say that I think it's wonderful you care so much about this boy's wellbeing and future.
Good for you!
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It really sounds like he could use counseling. Someone, even you if you feel you have a good relationship with him, needs to point out to him how successful he is at getting attention through these negative ways and help him figure out what other "talents" he has and how he might use those to get attention instead. Some kids are willing to do a "social experiment" in which they try to change someone else's behavior (parent, teacher) by doing something (just one thing) different themselves. This can be complimenting someone, doing homework every day for a week in just one subject (going for more is not likely to be successful - too much change too soon!), making a bed, putting dishes in the dishwasher without being asked, etc. Hopefully, the person who needs to attend to these things in a positive way does so (a clue to them is not inappropriate!!) and it can be a small start to a new way of behaving. As for how to talk with his mother, that depends alot on how concerned she is. She may either appreciate your input or not want to hear anything that sounds like a challenge to her way of doing things. You could just try sharing with her your positive observations of his work with you so she can hear someone say good things about her son (it sounds like the school has a lot of negative things to say!). This is definitely tricky and you'll have to use your good people skills to figure out how much and what to say to her. Good luck - again, he is so lucky to have you in his corner!
Andie
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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We have four children an adoped our grandaughter who was only 1 lb an 10 oz.she is now 29 an is beautiful in every way.we lost one of our son to cancer at 38.that young 14 is hurting an trying to get attention.you have to give them lots of love.but you are young also so please be careful.
you can only do so much.Gerry10. 
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Neta G.Yale
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Ruchie, dearest, give yourself a pat on the back. What you are doing for this kid is amazing. You are probably right - positive reinforcement does wonders. A few more thoughts though. Remember, a kid with ADHD means that they have the inability to focus on one thing because they're focussing on everything. So, they are more likely to succeed in a quiet one on one atmosphere. A classroom is chaos to them. Pencils snapping, papers rattling, the noises of the furnace, the fan, etc...... is overwhelming. So you're right - it's not that he can't focus - he's just focussing on too many things at once.
About the OCD - I have this so if you have any quedstions let me know. If he's getting suspended for some things - it's possibly because he can't stop the behaviours.
As for getting suspended -what typical behaviours are you seeing???
As for his intelligence - chances are he's bright - most kids with ADHD are. Test scores have nothing to do with their IQ. He may have gaps in his learning - missed some of the basics because he just couldn't learn them in that environemnt. This may be affecting his test scores now. Trace back and make sure he's got the basics. How's that for rambling.??? LOL
Hugs to you,
Han.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Hi Ruchie... this is the first time I have replied to any of your posts, but I have been reading them a lot. You seem to be really intelligent and what you said about the positive reinforcement is right on... not only with kids with attention problems but any kids... ! I read all the ideas and they were good, but I didn't notice anyone asking if he was dyslexic or not. I have read that many people with AD problems are and this just causes more problems... but like someone said he probably had a hidden talent that is away and above his peers (but he might not even know what it is yet) Can he draw? I had a great friend who was dyslexic but was THE BEST WELDER I or anyone around here had ever seen.. he could just see things differently --- but did have a lot of trouble in school "fitting in". Does he like to work with his hands... wood working or fixing bicycles or something like that? Try to find out something he is really interested in... and check on the dyslexia ..
ann
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What a great idea Ann! I have a nephew whom in grade school ws diganosed with ADD. Later on in years they realized he was dyslexic.About the age of 12 his Dad let him help with lawnmowers,snowmachines etc;taking them apart,putting them together,fixing them he did. Now in High School he is in a program that teaches them HANDS ON. They work with their hands not with books. He is doing really well and he is not ADD nor is he "acting out"like he use too from frustration!! Too Ruchie you do have patients and love and caring for a person as young as you are. Keep up the super job!! Sue
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Ann,
Wow, thanks...I really appreciate you responding! 
He's GREAT at art...
And, he obsesses. My hubby thinks he may have autism. I have mentioned getting him re-tested several times to his mother...but she's not interested. It's a shame! There's more than ADHD there....
I pray for this boy and give money to charity for him every day! I've also been speaking to all my friends in education (I have lots!) One suggested that he volunteer. I thought that was GREAT! His mother said that he volunteered earlier in the year and enjoyed it. But I could tell (I know his mother pretty well by now), that she doesn't plan to act on it. She won't try to get him to volunteer.
He was adopted, he has LD's, and he feels COMPLETELY alone in the world! If he could volunteer he would see there are people worse off than him....he would also see he can make a diff. in the world! Any suggestions on how to convince his mom on this?
Thanks SO MUCH for caring...I'll def. keep you posted!
*hugs*
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Why don't you volunteer somewhere and invite (and ask permission) him to come along with you? Do this a couple times and perhaps he will be asking his mom to go on days you can't go.
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- Jennifer
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU--what a FABULOUS idea Jen!!!!!!! I will see about doing this in 3 weeks (I'm going away next week and this Sun. will be too soon)...I'll let you know how this goes.
I can't thank you enough for this wonderful idea and for caring!
*hugs*
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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