I have a spending problem.......
#348469 - 07/27/09 09:45 AM
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Kappy
Reged: 10/09/08
Posts: 852
Loc: Mississippi
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I know I should be posting this on some kind of spending freak annonymous web page, but I consider y'all my buddies, and I need some advice.
HOW DO I STOP SPENDING MONEY????????????? I can't stop buying clothes and shoes and unnecessary sh#@!!!!! I have some credit cards that I just cancelled that I'm planning on paying off. I don't want to spend any more money!!! When I get bored at work, I want to shop online!!!!!! Aaaarrrggghhh... I guess I need to start doing some research or something instead. It's so frustrating. !!!!
I don't have the money to be spending on all of this crap. I have plenty of clothes and so does DH. I dunno why I do it.
Is there some kind of forum or help site I could go to to help me get over this. I am a compulsive impulsive buyer!!!!!
Any advice would be helpful.
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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Feel free to send any extra cash my way and I will take care of it for you so you don't spend it. 
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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LOL Not the kind of advice I had in mind 
I wish I actually had the money to buy the things I get. I just put them on credit which is a HUGE NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
I'm distressed.  
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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All compulsive behaviors and addictions such as binge eating, alcohol, chocolate, TV, computers, pornography etc have the same root. They are all fear based. I'll repeat that. You are compulsively spending due to FEAR.
Any time we "act out" compulsively it is an avoidance mechanism. We are avoiding the process of living fully completely embodied in body, mind and spirit in any given moment. Essentially addicts live in terror of feeling their feelings in the moment. The root of all addiciton is the same. We act out to avoid something else.
In your case you gave us a big clue. You are bored at work. I imagine that along with that boredome there are many other unresolved internal conflicts that you are carrying around with you at your job. You mentioned feeling a lot of hostility towards one particular co-worker. You also mentioned feeling deprived because you cannot eat what others are eating and also binge eating at work. There is clearly a lot going on with you.
You are young. I wonder if you have ever considered going to see a counselor.
There are other avenues such as yoga, and meditation.
The root of this compulsive spending is deep inside you. We act compulsively to avoid looking inside ourselves because we think the pain is too much to bear so we run away and find any diversion.
You may be overspending to deal with feelings of deprivation because of IBS. There is a void inside you and you are trying to fill it.
Nothing outside you can fill that void.
Find a spiritual teacher, guide or counselor to help you deal more productively with inner conflict.
I am 56 years old and believe me I DO understand your pain.
Ackowledge the pain and take some constructive action.
12 step programs can be very useful.
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Please visit me on Facebook!
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Thank you, Dee!
You are very right. I need to find something else to "fill the void" and stop running from what I fear.
Most of the time I don't even want to buy things and definitely, don't need them and definitely, don't have the money!
I can't afford a guidance counselor right now, though. I wonder if my college (graduated in 07) would still let me see a counselor there?
It's very depressing. This is becoming a cycle. I get bored, buy something, feel guilty about it, eat, then get depressed. And it repeats. Then I binge, binge, binge (especially on the weekends)
I'm such a bad person and so uncontrollable. I don't know what to do about all of this. I know I need help. I just don't know how to go about getting it.
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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you could read a book or get a nintendo ds,if u don't know what it is,its a hanheld nintendo,its great. There's this electronic diary called dear diary 3,I believe..u could write in that. I like to spend time watching you tube videos or reading magazines.
why don't you try returning a bunch of stuff you bought and get refunds? or have a garage sale then use that money to pay off credit cards? I've never owned a credit cards and thing they're bad to have..I only carry a visa debit card..
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OA
#348477 - 07/27/09 11:37 AM
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Boston_Dee
Reged: 07/17/09
Posts: 40
Loc: Boston, MA
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Instead of surfing the net for shopping here is an idea for you. Google Overeaters Anonymous and find a meeting to go to in your geographic area. Mississippi right? OA is everywhere. It's free. It's like AA but for eating issues. You do NOT have to be overweight to attend these meetings. It's not about your body it's about your relationship with food. The cool thing is it costs nothing! So don't say you can't afford it. It's FREE AND they will give you a mentor who you can call on the phone or email for help. And you will get a HUGE support group of others with eating issues. There is nothing to be ashamed of here and you are NOT a bad person. You are just one of God's children who is struggling with food issues just like 2/3 of Americans. We are the fattest, unhealthiest people on the planet and 2/3 of us have eating issues but most refuse to admit it.
BE a renegade. Admit the problem and get some help! By dealing with the food issues in OA you can get to the root of all your compulsions. It's a fabulous program and you will make tons of friends.
I am speaking from experience and I DO feel your pain. And please stop wasting your energy in judgement of yourself. Love yourself unconditionally! LOVE is the answer.
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Please visit me on Facebook!
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Re: OA
#348479 - 07/27/09 12:25 PM
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Kappy
Reged: 10/09/08
Posts: 852
Loc: Mississippi
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Thank you, Dee, again, you are great support!!!
HUGS and MUCH LOVE for you and myself!!!!  I'm going to try the OA. I will succeed and I will prosper.
I dunno why I've been so down lately, I just need a turn around! This will definitely help me.
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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Kappy, You have taken the first step which is to admit that you have a problem. You are "owning" your stuff and being perfectly honest about it. . . Letting go of any denial. This is HUGE! You are on a roll . . . You GO Girl! Just continue to stay completely honest with yourself at all costs in every moment. This will go a long way!
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Please visit me on Facebook!
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I am going to start doing my yoga again tonight. I used to do yoga for AT LEAST an hour every day. It helped me to be more aware of my body. It allowed me to go to my own happy place. When I used to do yoga, I did not over eat or overspend nearly as much. I guess I was more in-tune with myself and my spiritual well-being. Well, it's time to relive that! I am going to an OA meating on Thursday at one of the local hospitals at 5:30. I have committed to it. I may even take the DH, he has a problem with eating too much sometimes as well.
You have been great support and very encouraging. I miss yoga. I just have felt lately like I don't have the time, but now its time to make time! That is probably one of the only things that is going to make me feel better inside and out with out indulging in unnecessary activities (i.e. spending and eating) I'm ready for this.
I have spoken with our H.R. person here at the bank about my problems. She is also my superviser and very understanding. She has helped me through a lot and has been a great mentor for me. Talking to her was my first step in fighting my problem. I actually admitted it to someone!
Now, it's time to talk to the DH about my spending. I don't know how he will take it, but if he truly loves me, he should be understanding and know that I am going to turn this all around!
I'm just glad I have this forum to let this all out. It really helps to get it off my chest.
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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