Grandmother's in hospital, husband's parents are crazy
#347651 - 06/29/09 12:10 PM
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Kappy
Reged: 10/09/08
Posts: 852
Loc: Mississippi
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First problem: My grandmother (momma's momma) is in intensive care in Texas. She had some thyroid problems, messed her heart and stomach up. She is stable right now, and they are doing tests this afternoon. Momma is going to keep me updated. It always seems though, when they start to do better, that's when they die. I don't want her to die, not now. I know she is old and everyone dies, but you know how it is. I didn't get to spend enough time with her at the wedding, and I feel so badly about that.
Second problem (the first was the biggest but this is bad as well):
I'M NOT MARRIED TO TODD'S PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They won't leave us alone.
1st: Father-in-law came and got my car and put new tires on it, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. That's all fine and dandy, but now I feel obligated to do everything they want us to do. I could have gotten my own damn new tires. Arrgghh.
2nd: They keep saying "oh we haven't seen you in so long" and "you need to come eat supper more" and "we miss you" etc. It has to stop! We eat supper over there once a week, and I'm miserable the next day because everything she cooks, I'm not supposed to eat. I'm also trying to lose weight and she has everything smothered in butter and everything is fattening! BOOOOO!!!
3rd: Brother-in-law (Ryan)'s wife Elizabeth planned their son's First birthday party on a Sunday at 6 p.m. (on purpose of course so it would be an inconvenience for the Russell family). This is in Tupelo (3 hours away) so therefore we wouldn't get home until almost midnight. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! We both have to work the next day. But Todd's parents are giving us a guilt trip about it, which is soooooo not right.
4th: We wanted to go to deer camp this weekend and have a peaceful relaxing weekend, but when father-in-law found out about us going, now he wants to go and do work around the camp house. AND HE's BRINGING MOTHER-IN-LAW. I can't take it anymore! I just can't.
I'm having so much trouble out of my stomach. It hurts constantly. Like someone is stabbing me. I can't deal with them or the stress anymore.
I don't know what to do with out making them mad at me or ruining our relationship. They are great people, but NOT MY HUSBAND and they should not be treating us like this.
Please help me if you can give me some advice it would be much appreciated. I'm so stressed out. Thank you for at least listening and letting me vent.
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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I am sorry to hear about your Grandma. Please keep us posted. Your husband needs to have a heart to heart talk with his parents and explain to them they you guys are not kids but are adults. Also I suspect they feel as if they don't get the time with him that they possibly got in the past. I personally would tell MIL that I can't eat dinner there because of the foods that she cooks and that my condition will not allow me to eat it. I have gotten to the point where if people don't like it then the hell with them. Sorry but that is how I feel.
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IBS-D, GAD (general anxiety disorder), Major Recurrent Depression, GERD (gastric reflux disease), Hiatal Hernia, PTSD
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That is my thoughts exactly!!!
He is definitely going to talk to them. They didn't spend that much time with him before, they are just trying to keep us close because oldest son is 3 hours a way and won't come visit, and MIL's daughter is 4 hours a way with a new boyfriend and she won't spend time with them, so i guess they are just trying to hang on to us. But when he gets out of school, we are out of here! I don't know where we are going, but far from here!
My grandmother is doing alot better. She was eating some jello and broth when I talked to Momma earlier. She is expecting to go home today, hopefully. She and momma were in hysterics when I talked to her.
Funny story, they are in the cardiac unit, right, and yesterday they were watching a high speed chase in Dallas (on the news of course) and when the guy went through intersection, he got nailed in the side. They both shouted "WHOA" at the same time, and the nurse came running in like "what's wrong, what's wrong" lol  She was laughing so hard when she told me
My mother and grandmother are HILARIOUS when they get together, but you have to understand their humor! lol
Anyway, we are just glad she's better. Thank you for your thoughts!
How is the fam, BB?
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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Is it possible that your inlaws are lonely and miss having family around them ... and are just trying too hard???
Best to your grandmother...
Hang in there -
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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Thank you Double J! She is home now. I talked to Momma last night and they were having a glass of wine  They sounded a little wound up if ya know what I mean.
I think they are lonely and miss having family there. And yes, trying way too hard. We are going to have a "talk" with them soon. I haven't heard from either of them since I asked them not to be so pushy May have been the wrong thing to say! But they just gotta understand sometime!
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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Hehe, sounds a little too much like "Everybody Loves Raymond" for my comfort!!!!! I could NOT handle that. Your husband is going to have to step up and lay down some rules with his parents, plain and simple. I've learned that the hard way over the years.... On the other hand, be somewhat grateful that you DO have them close by. Both my parents and my husbands parents are almost 1000 miles away, so we rarely get to see them. I don't know if you have kids, or are going to have kids, but trust me, those grandparents come in handy when kids are involved. We've already decided no more kids until my parents move out here so that we have some HELP!
I haven't lived near my parents since I left to go to college and I miss them terribly. So do keep that in mind! 
I hope your Grandmother is doing better!
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Lisa, IBS-C (Vegan)
Stable since July 2007!
Mommy to Rhiannon Marie (Dec. 13, 2008)
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Having read some of the stuff on there I count my blessings that I have a lovely set of in laws. There's plenty of people there who have to deal with interfering in laws.
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Stable IBS D
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Boundaries are boundaries, family or not. I am sure they mean well, but you must set those boundaries, or they will continue to invade your privacy. That happened in my family, and feelings were hurt for awhile, but we worked it out. It will be worse for everyone, if you let it continue. Resentment will just build, and then who knows when that will blow. So, set them straight now.
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You need to read the book BOUNDARIES
I'll look for it I know i have it it will free you
I swear!
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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You have to first of all, DE-Stress! That's what happens to me during life(better known to me as Stresstrip)My gut just kills me and then I turn mean.Surely,your in-laws will understand that you need alone time and to get your diet back on track,so you are not so uncomfortable.Luckily,I am able to keep my distance from my in-laws.I love em,but I don't want them in my face all of the time.I tell them that my "illness" is bothering me so no one really expects that much out of me.I have my mentally-challenged adult daughter back home with me now,and I haven't yet de-stressed about that.It was a terrible mess a few months ago,before we had to take her to hospital for a long stay-but at least I have my baby back-with brain damage now.POINT-FIND A WAY TO DESTRESS!!!!!
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