round 2
#342727 - 03/01/09 08:34 PM
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hawkeye
Reged: 06/16/03
Posts: 705
Loc: NYC
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I think I'm going to try round 2 of my exposure therapy tomorrow morning. Not looking forward to it, but tired enough of the phobia that I can find enough motivation.
I just joined a support page like this one but for emetaphobia. Its awful! Its a bunch of people supporting each other, not to help get over the phobia, but to continue all of their ocd-like actions to avoid getting sick. Lots of posts about making sure to wash hands a million times or other things like that. I understood the motivation for all of it but found it so depressing to see people encouraging each other to do many of the things I'm trying to stop doing. (and some ideas I hadn't had yet)
Anyway, wish me luck for the morning. I'm not feeling totally committed to doing this again tomorrow, but my therapist is encouraging me that I have to continue right away, several times until it will hopefully become a more neutral experience for me. Meaning, only as bad as everyone else thinks instead of something to worry about countless times every day.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Well that was postponed for snow! The family is home here so not the best time to be facing my demons.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Hawkeye,
May I say that I can somewhat understand your pain. I have never seen my father throw-up, and he is now 76 years of age. I have watched him through illness, hang-overs, injury, emotional pain/drama, etc. and he has never, ever tossed his cookies. I found it very strange, since when you are with family for that long, you have seen them through good times and bad.
I finally asked my Mom why I had never seen him do this. She said. "Oh, your Dad will not allow himself to do that." I often wondered how he managed to stop it, but he is able to somehow. I truly beleive that he may have a phobia about it, but of course I just don't mention it to him.
My daughter also has a problem. Ever since she was a little girl, she would shake, rattle, and roll, it she felt sick to her stomach. She did not want to go to the bathroom. I had to go with her, and hold her tight, until she was finished, and she was just an uncontrolable, shaking mess. To this day, if she thinks someone is ill, she runs the other way.
So, I really think this is so much more common than people realize. I didn't give it too much thought, until I started to read your posts, and then I thought of my own family.
I wish you well with round 2.
Lynn
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Re: round 2
#342751 - 03/02/09 03:05 PM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
she was just an uncontrollable, shaking mess. To this day, if she thinks someone is ill, she runs the other way.
Gee, sounds all to familiar!! That is me! Or I'm curled up in a ball, eyes closed, ears plugged, trying to remember to breath.
Anyways Hawkeye (who I'm incidentally watching right now  ) you know we're all behind you, snow day or any day you need it!
Take care!! Hugs!
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Tried again this morning once I had the apt to myself. Basically went the same as last week except I felt a stronger push in my stomach - it was closer to actually coming up (but still didn't). I felt more anxious this time than last time I think. I feel like I'm physically and maybe mentally stopping myself from throwing up even as I'm trying to. I'm so conditioned to do that, so it felt like only a half-hearted attempt in a way.
I'm not sure this is the right path to take. I need to get over the fear and the obsessing thats for sure, but I've been reading a lot and not everyone does it this way. Of course I'm not excited about doing this so its hard to know whether my gut feeling (sorry) that this isn't right is something I can trust. Therapy is tomorrow, last week she pushed hard for me to keep trying to induce myself to throw up often until it somehow becomes a non-issue. I'll think about it more tonight and then hear her advice tomorrow.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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WOW Ok well I belong to that other forum your refering to, and to the contrary it has helped me a whole lot, 1. knowing that im not the only one out there with these irrational thoughts and 2. giving the resources and links to understand how my phobia works.. I am much better now then i was before i joined this said site... Yes i agree there are lots of people there that only use the site for support and not necessarily for help but that dosent mean that lots of us go there for support for getting better... In my opinion and from the hundreds of research i have done on the subject is inducing yourself to vomit is not going to cure you, this phobia is about control even though you may think that vomiting it the issue its actually the anxiety leading up to it that is the issue, you can agree with me or not only you know what is best for you, but if a therapist would ever encourage that to me well id be finding another... its as if saying im afraid of heights i should jump off a building, or sky diving... even if i did it and survived, what's the guarantee that ill be willing and not afraid to do it again?
Im not in anyway telling you not to proceed with your experiment just take a look at this site
http://www.emetophobiahelp.blogspot.com/
this is a member of the said forums who stops by from time to time to help out...SAGE a Recovered emetophobic. Psychotherapist specializing in anxiety disorders.
there is a section on this like that I've posted about just what you are trying to do...
I wish you all the best luck in your journey
Take care.
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IBS-A mostly D, Emetaphobic, GAD
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Hi Rogue,
Thanks so much for your post and your concern for me. Maybe I spoke too soon, I haven't spent more than an evening on the site. (emetaphobia.org). Its just that in the time I spent on those boards, I found very few posts with what I was looking for - info and new ideas about getting over this.
I did read the emet blogspot too. I think I've read the entire site or close at this point - and my first reaction was that I hope she's right - that exposure therapy isn't necessary for anyone including me! But her argument didn't make much sense to me - people who are afraid of heights DO learn step by step to go to high places and face their fear. They don't jump off of course but neither does anybody else. People scared of elevators or planes or subways often work their way up to getting in them to face their fears and prove to themselves that as you say its the anxiety and loss of control itself, not the situation. She also talks about people who have been through rape or abuse as not needing to go through the experience again to get over it - those are violent/sexual/emotional trauma in a way that throwing up which is just a natural body function isn't. I was surprised she spoke of them as related.
The truth is I don't know what's right. I surely don't know if I"m on the right path. However, I made the choice to try exposure for now, after a year of therapy digging deeper than I ever thought possible into the roots of this problem for me. (and meditation). It felt like the final piece of the puzzle, to finally face the fear head on. Trying to anyway
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Im happy you did not take my post as criticism and just my opinion on the matter as such... I fully understand what your going through i once debated the same thing... but for me it was to learn ways to cope with the anxiety and the anticipation of the action was what i was most interested in learning...
im still not cured by far but it does not consume my life anymore... i still look for ways to ease the anxiety so that when the act does happen of it own will be it stomach virus or of anything else that i would be more prepared to deal with it
most people who are emetaphobe even state that once they do get sick that they were calm and did not freak out yet a few months later are back to freaking out if they feel the slightest nausea...
I understand what you mean about the sexual abuse reference that you mention but the way i think she meant it is that although the situations are quite different and that throwing up is a natural bodily function, to some one like me or you it can seam like a horrific trauma to even think about it happening, a trauma that not everyone can sympathize and understand.
you said so yourself that people who are afraid of heights (usually because of a fear that they could fall) DO learn step by step to go to high places and face their fear but they don't jump off... same should be for us in my opinion meaning we should learn step by step to get through the anxiety buy desensitization(and EMDR Therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EMDR) meaning pictures, being able to watch it on TV, learning to deal with the level of anxiety each of these things bring to you learn ways to cope until eventually you have 0 anxiety when faced with these pictures ect....
to better be ready to deal with it when the act truly happens
I idea for me in my journey to get to a point were it doesn't consume my every thought and don't obsess over it and I believe im 80% better at it now.
I truly respect you for getting this far and for trying to get over this fear by any means that you feel is right for you, its not easy to do but it is possible.
PS.. the site that i was referring to was http://emetophobics.proboards83.com/index.cgi?board=offtopic as i had sen someone with your username join a few days ago and even sent that person a message, if it wasn't you, sorry for the confusion :P
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IBS-A mostly D, Emetaphobic, GAD
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I hope it went well.
I made some good friends while I was in SE Asia and they can't stand open places. They would like to hide in a jungle somewhere. It's so very hard for them so I think I know how you feel.
I wish that I could go out and stand with you.
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 Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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