little update, since I can't sleep
#329939 - 05/18/08 10:32 PM
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hawkeye
Reged: 06/16/03
Posts: 705
Loc: NYC
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I've been in therapy for a few months now and thought I'd give an update.
Therapy has been unexpectedly helpful, I thought I needed cog. beh. work, but the therapist I see also uses gestalt therapy and that is the direction we went. Its been awfully hard, and very helpful too. I feel that I've moved the "bar" over just a little bit - just a little less obsessive, less fearful, less phobic, less superstitious about getting sick too. Its not in any way gone, unfortunately, but that little bit of ease, has given me a taste of freedom from constant worry that is a great incentive to continue. It also gave me the space (in my head!) to think seriously about my career, my relationships with my family and friends, in a way that I didn't have time or energy for before with the constant fearful chatter in my brain.
I also started meditating about 2 months ago, the day that my new psychiatrist prescribed prozac - I decided to try meditation instead of more drugs. And have been sitting each day for 20 minutes - am going to start increasing my time now, as its really helpful. So far I haven't started the prozac, and am hoping to stay that way. I'm not depressed - just highly anxious and I felt anxiety is something I mihgt be able to ease without yet more drugs. So far, its mostly working out, though my anxiety level has been back up the last few days.
ITs 130am and I have to work in the morning but my stomach is rumbly and keeping me awake! Hope you all are well and managing to get more sleep than me!
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Glad to hear you are making some head way (hehe) with your anxiety! I also go to counseling and find it helpful. It sounds like you are on the right path and I hope your anxiety is less with everyday! Keep up the good work!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Thanks Michele,
Its actually way up this week (my anxiety) but this is the first time in 6 weeks or so, which is probably a record for me. So, I'm trying to remember that improvement doesn't look like a straight line going upwards in real life.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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Thats right! Its typically two steps forward and one step back! I struggle the same sort of set backs with my autoimmune disease. I think I find a way to deal with everything and look forward to the future for a little while than WHAM things flare up bad and I am back to just surviving the day, sometimes, just surviving the next 5 minutes! It doesn't mean that we have forgotten all that we learned, its just a temporary set back and if we stay steady, we will get on course again-at least thats what my shrink told me yesterday!!! LOL! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Hey Hawkeye!
Ive been away so I missed your post, and the hotel we were at didn't have Wifi. (yes, hicksville hotel!!)
Sorry to hear you were having trouble sleeping - I hear you loud and clear on that one!! I'm a light sleeper, but I also go through bouts of insomnia.
I am happy you are seeing the results in your therapy. It is a good thing to keep going and making progress, but to actually realize it is helping is another big step.
Hope you've had some sleep in the last 3 days! I'm heading off to bed myself soon. The DH is in bed by 8 b/c he starts work at 4am in the spring / summer. I'm usually not too far behind him!
Have a good night!
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up! 
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Cassandra, you know I grew up near a town thats actually called "hicksville" on long island. I'm on my way to Chicago for a week long training. Thats been part of the cause of my anxiety this week, not feeling good about going away from my daughter for so long and worried about staying with people I don't know well.... I'll try to check in from their computer - thanks for all the support, it always helps to hear from you both.
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
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hawkeye, when did this all begin for you? Was it spurred on by anything?
For me, it's been since I was a childhood. I've always had anxiety and it's always resided in my gut. And my fear of throwing up and getting sick is an inherited fear from my mother. Her mother used to drink too much and vomit, and my mom would hear her from her bedroom, late at night and be scared. The fact that she had a phobia of it, always made me scared of it too.
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