Infertility
#304155 - 04/06/07 03:33 AM
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Mary_V
Reged: 05/09/06
Posts: 544
Loc: Grandville, MI
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Ok. Here's the new thread. I named it a little more aptly. And it probably won't be a really long one like last time...at least not for a while.
So, here's the scoop on where we're at. AF did start yesterday. I'm excited that it started on it's own this time...which means the drugs worked. But it turns out that I'm really not our main problem now. I am annovulatory. But with drugs and with age that will get better. There is a lot that doctors can do for women. And my RE said it usually corrects itself as you get older. The real issue now is DH. I wish we would have found this out sooner. His count and motility are low, but not super horrible. But morphology is really bad...pretty much 0% normal. And there isn't much you can do about that...it's genetic. It may never improve. So, given our situation, we are moving on to injectables and IVF (with ICSI - inject one sperm directly into the egg)...as I expected. And there is a good chance we will always have to do IVF to get pg  The tough part for me is the waiting now. For IVF doctors like you to be on bc 1 month before the stimulating cycle. But we are going to Spain at the end of May. So we have to wait another month yet. I am kind of glad that I get to take it easy this month...NO DRUGS! Then in May I'll take bc, and DH will do another s/a. And we'll start the IVF process around June 20 (we also have to work around my doctor's vacation...he's going out of state for his daughter's wedding at the end of June...that's why we have to wait until then...just before he leaves we'll start injections, then continue the process when he gets back). It's kind of tough to accept that the absolute soonest I'll be pg now is July. That seems so far away. But at least I know what's going on now. And I can focus on other things for a while. It will be a nice mental break. And we are planning on telling our families now. Since we're doing inejctions and IVF we can't really hide stuff anymore, and we need the support. That will be a big burden off my shoulders too...to not have to keep such a big secret from everyone. We do have some big decisions to make yet...mostly about the unused embryos...do we freeze them and make sure that we use them all up at some point? Or put them up for adoption for couples that can't do it on their own for physical or financial reasons? I don't think we could opt to destroy them...just not what we believe.
Now I need to figure out what to do with the other aspects of my life in the meantime...mostly my job. I really hate my job right now. I was sticking with it for a bit in case I got pg. Then I knew I would just work until I had the baby and then be a stay-at-home mom. Now that I know I have at least a few months b/f getting pg I think it's time to move on to something else. Even if it's just temporary. I would love something I could do from home that is really flexible for when I do start treatments and need to go to the RE regularly to be monitored and when I do the IVF. I have a lot of thinking and researching to do. Anyone have any ideas of work from home jobs? Something that is not home sales...I would be horrible at trying to sell things.
Well, that's the scoop. Just wanted to give you the details and ask for your prayers. DH is having a hard time with this since he is the main reason we need to go this route. I told him I still love him the same, I don't blame him, and it's not his fault. But it's still tough. Since I'm on hold for a while I probably won't have much to post on this topic. I'll pick it back up when things start again. For now, good luck to everyone else ttc.
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~Mary
Had surgery for rectal prolapse in Sept. '06 and feeling good now! Loving life with our IVF miracle #1.
 
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I hope I didn't offend you when I mentioned starting a new thread?? It just makes it harder when any one thread gets too long.  I used to start a new one with each new cycle!
I am sure you are very confused about many things at the moment. Try to keep thinking positive. You are on the right road, you know what the problems are and they can be worked around. I know July seems like forever but a little break is good both mentally and physically. I agree, it will also be easier once you can tell your family and friends as well.
My opinion on the left over embryos is to give up them for adoption if you end up not needing them all. That would be a extraordinary gift to someone, especially someone who might not otherwise be able to have a child.
Your poor hubby! It is in no way his fault but I know how mine would react! 
I have no advice on your job as I am struggling with similar issues for health reasons though. In my area the economy is so bad, I would have a tough time finding another job in the future that pays anything resembling decent!
My hugs and love sweetie, I know it seems just like FOREVER but you are getting answers AND solutions. Focus on something else! Learn to scrapbook if you don't already, your going to want to take lots of pictures of your little one!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Quote:
And I can focus on other things for a while. It will be a nice mental break.
That's what I'm trying to do, focus on other things. We're not having much luck over here. I'm one day late at this point but I don't think I ever ovulated this last cycle unless the tests were wrong so I don't have high hopes. I haven't been posting on the topic much to try and keep my mind on other things. And I'm still super hormonal.
That aside, I'm both sorry and a little relieved for you. Sad that you have to move on to the next step of the process because of how things have turned out. But relieved that at least you know what the next step is and you have a plan. Sometimes it helps when the decision is out of our hands even if it isn't the answer we wanted.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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No worries, no offense taken. I agree, the thread was getting pretty long. And it has taken a different turn from its original purpose.
Yes, I know we are on the right track. It just sucks to have to wait so long now. Hopefully I can get focused on other stuff so the time flies by. The hardest part is my job. I really struggle with it every day, so each day feels like an eternity. I'm trying to force myself to do something I don't want to do, and there is so much other stuff going on in my head. If I had a job that I enjoyed things would be a lot easier. I know I won't find another job that pays what I make right now (I'm an electrical engineer), but I don't really care. DH is also an EE and makes good money and has good benefits. We have plenty in the bank right now to cover several rounds of IVF if need be. So, the money isn't much of an issue. I just need to find something I enjoy, something I feel confident doing, and something that gives me a purpose...like helping others. But I also need flexibility. And my health does affect it too. Even though I had surgery and am doing a LOT better than I was, I still am not as good as a normal person. I still have limitations. And, one of the biggest things, I need to have a job where I have the freedom to use the bathroom any time I need to...I go a LOT during the day since I have to drink so much to keep my system working and keep the miralax working. Also, b/c of the surgery I have bms throughout the day. So it can hit any time. I can't have a job that you need to "go on break" to use the bathroom. I literally go every 1/2 hour most days while I'm at work. Another reason that working from home would be ideal. I have a lot of thinking and searching to do.
I see my whole family tomorrow. I might tell some of them. We'll see how the day goes. I don't want to put a damper on my nephew's 3rd birthday party :P
DH and I need to do some serious thinking, talking, and praying about what to do with the embryos. Part of me would like to do adoption...knowing how badly a woman can want a child and have trouble getting one. But at the same time it seems weird to have someone else giving birth to "my" children. I don't know. Then again we may not even need to make that decision. Maybe we will use them all. Who knows. Like I said, we will give it a LOT of thought and consider every aspect of it.
Thanks again for your words of wisdom, Michele. I appreciate them so much.
I was just curious what kind of injections you've used? I will be using Repronex and Follistim. Do you know anything about them? You did not do IVF, right? We have our consult on May 10 to go over all the details. I'm nervous about the procedure itself. I hope it's not too painful.
Thanks again for your advice and encouragement. I hope you're feeling ok. Hopefully the PT and acupuncture will help.
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~Mary
Had surgery for rectal prolapse in Sept. '06 and feeling good now! Loving life with our IVF miracle #1.
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Good luck to you! Hopefully it will happen soon. Is your IBS settling at all? Hormones can really suck. I think I've cried more in the last few months than I have in the last few years.
I hope you can continue to stay focused on other things. It really helps. Never feel obligated to post or reply to me. I completely understand about not getting obsessed. I think I'm going to stop looking at ttc boards for a while. No reason to since I'm not ttc :P
Yes, it is nice to have a set plan and know that we've done everything in our control. The rest is in God's hands. Hopefully He has something good planned for us. I know there is a reason we haven't been able to start a family yet...just don't know what it is. Only God knows. Hopefully we'll find out some day.
Good luck on your next round (if you need one:).
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~Mary
Had surgery for rectal prolapse in Sept. '06 and feeling good now! Loving life with our IVF miracle #1.
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Mary,
Hang in there! I know the waiting can be frustrating, but at least you know there's nothing you have to/should be doing right now. Try to enjoy the break, and good luck using that time to figure something out on the job front!
You might do some searches into vitamins and such for improving DH's motility. I'm sure you'll still need IVF, but maybe there's something he can do diet or supplement wise to at least improve matters.
(((Hugs.))) Good luck!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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I really recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Wechsler. I was really frustrated when I first went off the pill by spotting, erratic cycles, major anxiety, etc. When I learned how to monitor my body, it helped me to know how things were working and whether I was ovulating and all that. It's definitely not a "laid back" way to go, but if you hate not knowing/understanding, I give it a thumbs up!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Thanks.
As far as DH. I don't think there is much we can do for him. He has been taking a men's multivitamin for about 2 1/2 months now. But other than that, not much to do. We even asked the Dr. Most things that people do for men is to help quantity and motility. But those are really not important for us. The problem for us is morphology (shape, enzyme structure), and that is genetic. You can't really change it. We will be doing IVF with ICSI. The Dr. picks out the best sperm he can find and injects it directly into an egg...so he only needs one, and it doesn't have to do any 'swimming'. That part is done by the Dr. We just need it to be able to tell the egg it's there and to create an embryo. Things are pretty much completely out of our hands at this point.
DH will do another s/a in early May. We'll see if there has been any improvement.
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~Mary
Had surgery for rectal prolapse in Sept. '06 and feeling good now! Loving life with our IVF miracle #1.
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I started on repronex and had an allergic reaction it to, got hives, swelling, itchy, fever, it wasn't fun. We switched to gonal-f and that went fine. Pretty much all the injectables are about the same.
No, I never did ivf, getting pregnant was only a minor problem for use, it was actually carrying the baby and since there were no genetic defects, ivf would not help us any.
Your ovaries will be much more stimulated with the injections and you are likely to feel way full and bloated. I produced something crazy like 23 eggs one month and I was in pain. I think the actual procedure isn't too awful, I am sure its not a picnic but I haven't heard any major complaints about it.
It definitely sounds like it is time to look for a new job. It sucks to hate you job. I don't mind my job as much as I do my boss and the sicker I get the harder it gets. Sorry, maybe someone else can help you with that aspect! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Well, I haven't posted on the topic in a while. Thought I'd ramble a bit. Nothing new really. I've been enjoying my break from meds and ttc. But now I'm getting antsy to get going again. But I have to wait almost 2 months I will be starting bc in a couple weeks. I guess that's one step towards the goal, although it seems backwards :P DH has his 2nd s/a next week. I'm hoping for at least a little improvement. On May 10 we have our full consult to find out all the details about the drugs, the procedures, and the dates. I'm anxious to at least know that.
So far we have told my sister and DH's parents. We are gradually telling our family. But there isn't a rush since nothing is happening right now. No sense making them worry so soon. But it sure felt good to finally tell my sister. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I'm in the process of applying for jobs. I've realized that I want to do some type of administrative work. I did that in college and loved my job. I am VERY organized and love to plan things. I've sent 6 or 7 resumes/applications so far. We'll see what happens. It's exciting to think I could be done with my current job in a month or two!
In one month DH and I leave for Spain!! It will be a much needed vacation. We can get away from everything going on here and just relax. I'm super excited. But also super nervous about travelling. My bowels are still very unpredictable since surgery. Hopefully I can manage and not let my anxiety take over.
For right now I'm trying to figure out what my body is doing. I think my hormones are out of whack after being controlled by drugs and now being left on their own :P Hopefully once I start bc everything will settle down.
Anyway, just wanted to give an update. Things are going well, but I'm starting to get antsy. Hopefully work and vacation will keep me distracted.
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~Mary
Had surgery for rectal prolapse in Sept. '06 and feeling good now! Loving life with our IVF miracle #1.
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