Help, Asperger's Syndrome and Being Overcrowded
#281388 - 09/08/06 09:21 PM
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Hi. I had a question. I have Asperger's syndrome, likely why I have IBS.
One of the things I see is that I really need a lot of time to myself. When I grew up I would be home alone for hours, and this really let me clear my head. Even when I go home now or to my grandparents I have a larger house with family who know me and leave me be. While I get along with my roomates and they are not here too often, they still are here, I do not know their schedule and so I can never feel comfortable even when they are not here that I have some space and the place to myself, that is my comfort zone. I do not want to have a bad last semester, so I wanted to know if you had any suggestions as to how I can cope. In a perfect world I would have my own 1 bedroom apartment so I would not be colostrophobic in one room and would have solo space but in the city with friends. I have that all but the 1 bedroom apartment, and I need a lot of space, undisturbed, to keep my clear and exhibit appropriate, courtesous behavior. Do you know what I can do?
I notice when I have just the right amount of solo space I am eager and social, if I have too much space I feel lonely, too little space I become rude, overwhelmed, and act inapproriate anti-social. Thanks.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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One idea
#281423 - 09/09/06 11:58 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Have you tried being in your car for extended periods of time? I know the car is a closed, small space, but sometimes in college I'd drive around and park my car in a parking lot full of cars, but I'd park on the side away from the shops with no cars. I got a really good feeling of being alone, while not too far removed and not totally isolated.
It's a good way of being by yourself while being totally in control and having the ability to not be disturbed. No one will talk to you, you will be insulated from society, and you can pick up and leave at any moment. It's also nice, because you can regulate the amount of space you are from other vehicles. I've always been concious of having a comfortable, nice car I can be in for large amounts of time without feeling embarrassed, because in the back of my mind I know it is my refuge from people. (I also feel like this about my bathroom, LOL!  )
I wrote a lot of term papers by myself in my car this way (in my car, not in my bathroom ). I couldn't stand the library because men were always talking to me. I'm extremely shy and insecure with people I don't know. I'm ill at ease in places like the pool, the library, the grocery store and other public places, though I've become better in restaurants by myself for some reason. 
I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to share a space while having Asperger's Syndrome just knowing what I go through! Kudos for you for recognizing your buttons and dealing with them in such a proactive manner.  My brother works with kids with Asperger's Syndrome, I'll ask him for some ideas.
~nelly~
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I can completely understand wanting to be by yourself. I am an only child and would rather be by myself (and I can always find something to do...I'm never bored). In social situations, I always have to take a deep breath, prepare myself by thinking of conversation topics, etc. It can be really stressful. I've never really admitted this to anything though obviously my family members know I'm not a social butterfly. I couldn't imagine having roommates! I also get kinda rude when pushed socially. It's hard to make myself turn it off. It's like Jekyl and Hyde taking over. I hate it when people try to make conversion with me, like in an elevator or even in a taxi! Having to dance in front of people at my wedding was most stressful. That was a long time ago though but it probably explains the 13 Amaretto stone sours of the evening (burp!). Anyway, just wanted to say good luck to you and though I really don't have any advice, I know sometimes it's comforting to know there are others who experience the same life difficulties as you!
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It's never too late to be what you might have been.
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It's just fantastic that you know your triggers and that you're trying to find your happy place, so to speak! I'm stunned at how well you know yourself, that you can be aware of all of that. How about somewhere outside where you can feel the wind blow? For me, a spot on a hill in a field was a great private place. Can that work for you?
Please feel free to e-mail me. i'm a special ed teacher who's got a BIG soft spot for kids and people with Aspergers and autism! In fact my fave student of all time had autism and he'l never forget me either.
Hope I helped.
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Coookie (09/09/06 10:39 PM)
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