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Thanks Janey.....{{{{{hugs}}}}
I hope you are doing well.
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I know what you mean....
I've been giving my husband the "cold shoulder" lately, too. I don't know if it is having an effect on him, but he does seem to be a little more "lovey dovey". Of course, that may just because he's trying to "get some"....if you know what I mean.
It's going to take me a long to forgive him for how he's treated me through this last bout of being sick. I've often thought that next time he is sick (practically never) I won't be supportive at all and I'll tell him it's all in his head....but it's easier to think of doing that than actually doing that. I'm not that type of person. I'm just too caring, I guess.
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Has anyone ever gone off Effexor or similar med, been told it would be best to go back on it, but been afraid to go back on it? I've been having to wait 4 days before starting Effexor again and I'm having second thoughts about starting it again. I know I felt better on it, but what my husband has told me and what i've read, and what I've experienced with side effects...I'm a bit nervous about starting it again. I think my husband will hold it against me.
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Quote:
I think my husband will hold it against me.
I think you need to ask yourself what is more important - your health and wellness, or your husband's opinions of something he obviously doesn't know anything about. It seems to me like your husband isn't being very supportive of you, nor does it seem like he cares that you are in pain. Regardless of what his beliefs are, he should be standing by you and doing whatever he can to help you feel better. I don't see how arguing with your doctor, or holding anything against you is going to help....
If my BF treated me the way your husband has been treating you I don't know what I would do (nor could I imagine him ever saying any of the things your husband has said to you), but it wouldn't be good!! In any healthly relationship, I truly believe that the relationship and the health and happiness of the individuals in it are the most important thing. He should treat you as if you are the number one priority and he should be doing whatever he can to help you through this difficult time. Accusing you of faking or it being all in your head is not productive.
I feel so bad for you....I think you and your husband really need to have a serious talk. In the meantime, do what you feel you should do for YOU. Don't worry about upsetting him - you need to get healthy!
Hope I didn't overstop my bounds here - I just really feel so bad that your husband is treating you this way.
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>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<
Michelle
IBS-A, pain predominant
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thanks michelle....i really appreciate all you said. i know how my husband is treating me right now is wrong....that's why it hurts my feelings so much. he never used to be like this. I told, him that, too. We've had a couple long talks....but in the end i still feel like it all comes down to being my fault. it's gotten to the point where the "D" word has even crossed my mind a lot lately. I even told him that, too. He didn't like that. I told him, i was just being honest because that is how his actions and words have made me feel. He just doesn't get it. I would hate to see us not be together....I enjoy his family...his mom and i have been doing alot together the past couple weeks. I've told her everything that is going on....she doesn't like it either. I just don't know what to do anymore. Looking back....i feel i've made so many sacrifices (small ones) over the past 12 years with him....and yet he just continues to do what he wants and he's not going to do or believe anything he doesn't want to. He hardly ever spends any time with my family anymore. When we are invited over there he always says he doesn't want to and to "go ahead and go if you want"....but yet when he has a function i always go because I feel we should go as a couple. I told him it's to the point where my family is asking why they don't see him any more. I'm just at the end of my rope....and trying to hang on.
Thanks a bunch for the wonderful support. {{{hugs}}}
I never would have dreamed he'd turn out this way.
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What is happening is NOT your fault and your husband is not behaving well. I agree with what michelle said. I know this isn't helping you much but you do not deserve to be treated like this. Have you talked to him about seeing a marriage counsler? Lots of love and hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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thanks michele....
actually when we met with my doctor on Monday, the doc mentioned counseling. But, I told him that it wouldn' t help unless my husband realized that this is really an illness and not just in my head....it's not going to help unless he changes his attitude. Even the doc said he needs to decide if he's willing to accept that I have a real illness.
So frustrating....I've even thought how nice it would be to just go away and "start over". It's even crossed my mind that everyone would be much better without me. I hate this feeling.
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Aw sweetie, I know how tough its got to be. Will can be a putz once in a while but he is usually pretty good, for a guy!  
No one would ever be better off without you. I get those feelings too, that it would be so easy to just go to sleep and not wake up. When I get like that, I think of my dogs, my babies to me and that helps me get through the rough times. I sometimes feel that Will would have a better life without me weighing him down but I know thats just the depression talking.
Please, even if your hubby won't go to counseling, you should go on your own. Love and hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I know...it was just the depression talking about leaving or not being around. My dogs are my babies to me, too. They would be lost without me...or at least "mine" would be. The other is more my husband's dog.
I've been through counseling once before and, although it did help a bit, I got to the point where I wasn't revealing all that needed revealed simply because I'm not comfortable with telling anyone everything. Even those closest to me....so I don't think counseling would really do me any good right now.....this is just something that we are going to have to work out ourselves, I guess....if it's even possible. We are able to talk to each other....it's just that he hears what he wants.
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