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Re: Same here! new
      #278863 - 08/17/06 06:57 PM
Snowy

Reged: 03/23/05
Posts: 406


There seems to be a lot of us on the boards that are around the 30 mark. It makes me feel good about myself because I can relate to so many of you and it definitely seems like you all have your lives together.

Thanks for your input Sinead!

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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms

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Re: Ginger!! new
      #278870 - 08/17/06 07:25 PM
epa_ginger

Reged: 02/23/05
Posts: 1158
Loc: Chicago, IL

Hah, my husband and I stopped going to bars like a year ago, before we even decided to start trying. We did that in college, and then after college for probably 2 years we went out a lot with friends, and it just got old. A few of our younger friends, especially the sinlge ones still go out and I am not remotely jealous. I work downtown, so I might stay after work for dinner or a show, but going downtown on the weekend? Forget it!! So in that respect, I feel kind of old. None of my younger friends say "Straight chillin" though, I think I'd roll on the floor laughing.

We get together with friends and play games, see movies, just hang out. And I'm perfectly happy with that. We save money at least!

I think I'm less afraid about turning 30 because I'll have a baby just before. It's dumb to think that matters though, cause it really doesn't. Plus my life, while may be a little behind what I expected it to be, is at least advancing in the right direction, and I have a happy marriage so there isn't much to feel bad about. I am constantly thinking "Thank God I am married" because I've seen my single friends looking for their match and it's not easy. I'm so lucky to be done with that. Actually I was done about 14 years ago (I met my husband when I was 16!).
Anyway, my mom said if she could go back to any age, it would be 30. You're totally over any awkwardness, have more confidence, can take care of yourself but still have that youth. So embrace it!

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Re: Ginger!! new
      #278872 - 08/17/06 07:33 PM
Snowy

Reged: 03/23/05
Posts: 406


We don't go to bars very often. Usually when one of our younger friends is having a birthday. Or, my husband loves to sing karaoke so we'll hit up a bar then. Otherwise, I can't stand the smoke and drunks.

Congratulations to you and your husband! I love to hear stories of couples who have been together since high school. I was way too wild to settle down at that age. I had my own bar stool at a couple of bars.

I think I will embrace it. I don't look 30, at least I don't think I do!

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***********************
IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms

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Re: Ginger!! new
      #278885 - 08/18/06 05:05 AM
Angela E.

Reged: 10/14/04
Posts: 2518
Loc: Michigan

I agree turning 30 wasn't all that bad. I am 31 now but we stopped the bar scence around 28. Don't get me wrong we still went out with friends for special events but mostly we hung out at each other's houses and played cards or games. I had my son when I was 28 and now I am gaving another one. Kids really do change your life but for the better. You give up a sense of freedom but gain some of the most valued treasures. I think the one thing I was worried about was our relationship as a married couple. But that turned out just fine. Remember this though you HAVE to be a strong couple before kids. Many people think a child is going to help their marriage and it won't. I have seen too many friends go through majour problems and divorce after kids come because they thought children would fix their marriage. You will know when it is right for you to have one. But remember this you'll never feel completely ready finacially so don't let that scare you!!

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Re: Advice about children (long post)!! new
      #279069 - 08/19/06 06:38 PM
Flipada

Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA

Hey there Snowy.
I've been gone for a week so I'm just catching up. Now I can give you my two cents.

I just turned 37. I had my first child at 26 and my 2nd at 30. So, if I have my math right, I have an almost 11 year old and a 7 year old. I was remarried last summer to a wonderful man that just so happens to be 3 yrs. younger than me and has no children of his own.

I said I would never have more kids. Then I met him. I've struggled with many of the same issues you brought up. For one, I feel too old (sometimes). Will I recover well? Will I have the energy for a little one? Two, I worry about the age gap of kids. Will they ever be close? Will I then have another so this 3rd won't be an "only child"? Three, with a 3rd, I will need a bigger home and will have less money to do it with. 4th, I won't be able to quit my job any time soon. Unless I have twins! Then we won't be able to afford child care so I'll HAVE to quit! So, those are some of the downsides...

Then I think about how much I love my husband and how I would love to give him a child of his own. I know he'll be a great dad. I know that all my worries about money, etc. will work out as they always do. They say if you wait until you have enough money to have kids, you never will.

I know that I have changed in so many positive ways since becoming a mother. It's life changing, is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. It's the best thing I've ever done and sometimes is the most frustrating and exasperating. I have learned so much from my children. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without them. And I'm sure that after I have the next one (if it's meant to be) that I'll say the same thing.

Snowy, you have time to make your decision. Give it another year before you start thinking about it seriously. You're still young enough. You need to take the time alone with your husband at the beginning stages of your marriage. Enjoy.

Only you (and DH) can make this decision but what ever you do, don't let age rush you into a deciding one way or another. Take some time. And good luck!!

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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**

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Re: Advice about children (long post)!! new
      #279311 - 08/21/06 11:03 AM
Snowy

Reged: 03/23/05
Posts: 406


Thank you for the advice. I'm really glad that I posted about this. You all are so wise and have given me a lot to think about but answered my questions at the same time. I am going to wait and try not to think about the pressures or "what if's" for another year.


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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms

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