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We talked tonight. he came up with his definitive answer for me, and it was a no. I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be...it turns out that I know I'm not ready, he knows I'm not ready, and it was a total physical attraction that would have been toxic for us. I want us to stay friends,as does he because I think we'd make good friends....I think partly because he was on my level of quality human for the first time ever, that's what drew me to him so much. He is my equal, and I realize now that I've dated people who did not have as much to offer the world as I do.
And being in limbo and not knowing where I stand with someone is the most torturous thing I can imagine. Don't ask me why but it's agony for me. i'm far more at peace with his decision now because we can go on with our lives. you know, rather than living in suspended animation emotionally.
And if friends leads us to someday becoming more than that, then it's a great basis by which to move forth. If friends we remain, I'm happy with that. And if friends totally doesn't work out for us, that's okay too.
I see now that becoming friends with someone and getting to know their spirit is far more appealing to me than it ever was before.
So closes the saga. Tune in next time for a new story...the new or Improved Cookie. Time to focus on me, Kayleigh, school and getting mi $hit together, eh?
Ah but he was a beautiful distraction. 
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Coookie (08/14/06 11:12 AM)
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Well, I'm 5'8" so not real small but I would consider myself wise!!  I've also been told a time or two that I'm a smartass and I know that my husband would agree.
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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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I'm glad you're more at peace, even though it didn't work out the way that you had hoped. I have a feeling that something even better will come along when you least expect it. That's what happened to me with my husband. Many rough years have led to many awesome ones.
Keep us posted!
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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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ha ha...
#278268 - 08/14/06 11:11 AM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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I'm not small but I am short. I like to think I'm wise, too! 
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You will be small if you keep loosing weight at the rate that you have this summer. 
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IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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Quote:
Many rough years have led to many awesome ones
You got that right. A long time can pass before you find out why something seemingly bad happened. And then you get some wonderful answer to "Why did this happen to me?" And it's worth everything you went through.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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it's because I've had no freaking appetite. Well, I'm also on the bandwagon and eating healthier and getting exercise of some sort every day.
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