Family Matters
#274442 - 07/17/06 07:57 PM
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Lumiere
Reged: 06/30/06
Posts: 141
Loc: New England
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I am wondering if anyone out there has been trying to "clean house" in regard to family conflicts/irritations...I find that lately I have been connecting old wounds to my current GI issues. I recently wrote a letter to one of my sisters explaining that her behavior was hurting me and for the next couple of days I haven't had gut issues. Anybody out there with stories to share? I am not sure if it's a turning point in my life (I'm 31) but because of the mind/body connection I figured it was worth a shot. I have found I have been reflecting alot lately about my family relationships...like Douglas Coupland writes, "All families are psychotic." 
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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My parents were both alcoholics and very abusive. I wonder how much of my IBS stems from that type of life. I think that at the very least the stress and grudge you have to carry around when you're dealing with issues like those are going to effect your IBS (and everything else about you) even if they aren't a direct link to IBS. Though I think that there is a pretty strong connection there. I have learned that sometimes you need to just walk away from people, or "clean house", even if they are family. The more time that seperates me from things I've been through, the more clearly I can see what happened. And being able to walk away or let go of things can help your stress levels quite a bit. Hypnotherapy helped me an awful lot with anxiety and gaining control over myself. (I went to sessions for my IBS and found that so many wonderful things come from it that I never even knew were there.) There is only so much relief that you get from getting some things and/or people out of your life. Even after the cause is gone, we still have to address the symptoms.
Of course, you don't have to share this, but if need to talk about crazy families and want to let some stuff off your chest, my e-mail is on my profile.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Thank you for sharing. It really is amazing to me how some families can be so difficult. I have always been an anxious person, right from when I was little girl (I got to know alot of public toilets!) I am sure my unresolved emotional issues (some resolved  ) are applying a direct connection here. I think I read about your hypnotherapy experience. Which one did you use? If it works, I don't mind spending the money. I am willing to try anything that doesn't involve meds. Hugs to you!
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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I went to see a CHT in person for sessions. From what I've heard Michael Mahoney's audio program works very well, just as well as in-person sessions. It costs about $90 here on Heather's site, much less than in person sessions (like a sixth or seventh of the cost). I don't like meds either. I had one doctor who wanted me in a Lotronex study. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't ever have to risk death as a result of complications due to IBS. Lotronex has been put on the market and pulled and re-released with strict conditions because of such things. It worked miracles for some women. But I just wasn't willing to risk it.
When I was young, my mother would scream at me if I had to go to the bathroom while we were out. So I always held it until I hurt so bad that getting into trouble was worth getting to go use a bathroom. Holy smokes. One thing I know for sure, when I have children, they can use the bathroom whenever they want.
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Yep, my family was about as dysfunctional as it can get!! I've been seeing a shrink for a couple of years now and thats helped me to resolve as much of the family issues as possible. We can't change our parents/family but we can learn ways to better deal with them!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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under dysfunctional and you will find my family. Fortunately I don't have alcoholic or abusive parents, but my mom divorced my dad to be with his best friend of 20+ years, my brother and uncle are divorced too (and nasty divorces  ) I never knew my dad's parents even though my papa lived 4 blocks away until I was 12. My gran lived down east. My maternal grandparents, bless them, have been married 56 years and I think are the most sane of my entire family! My dad won't speak to me b/c I remind him of my mother!! Yep, we've all got crazy families.
I went to councilling for 2 years as a teen, I had a nervous breakdown b/c of my parents' situation - I was being blamed even when I couldn't do or prevent anything at the age of 18!! And my ibs started about 16.
Cassandra
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up! 
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my family was the same way, all my older sisters were in abusive relationships and i had to grow up seeing that.. and my dad hitting my mom.. he was verbally and physically abusive, he tried killing himself twice and blamed my twin and i.. then the third time he succeeded, he took a bunch of pills and drank himself to death in 2001
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http://www.myspace.com/rachelle423
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Quote:
My dad won't speak to me b/c I remind him of my mother!!
Do we have the same dad and not know it? My dads hates me and all my family. Not a big deal for me any more. I don't like him either. But I can't say I hate him. Too much energy to waste on some one you don't like.
It's amazing how much people have in common. Crazy parents always seem to be at the top of the "in common" list.
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If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Rachelle, I'm sorry about your dad, sweetie. That must be terrible to go through.
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oh my family is crazy and so are a lot of others I have seen out there... mom is nuts and tried to tell me that my husbands family is not normal- well no, they aren't "normal" but they are a lot more normal then she and my dad.. but then again.. whatever.. I just try to live and let live.. I don't want to cut all ties though there are definitely times I think about. MOm seems to think she needs to see us multiple times a year and we should be going ot see her regularly even though she's the one who moved to Ga.. even when they lived in NJ- I moved away, so I went once a year... but with my sister and nephew in NJ, I can't do both NJ and GA each year...
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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