He's officially gone.
#272065 - 07/01/06 08:59 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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His stuff is gone. There's some remnants. But He is gone. And he won't return the keys. What a loser. And he;s having the hussy stay over tonight. and I have to drop my little girl off tomorrow at 6 AM, so she'll see Daddy in bed with a new woman, when he was in bed with me two weeks ago. Isn't that charming. What a F***ING JERK!!
He does not see the harm in this. WHYYYYYYY????
-------------------- Keep on keepin' on...
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Just keep recording everything so the lawyers or mediators can review it. Are you going for full custody? That way I think you'll have more say in who she interacts with when she sees her loser father.
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if he thinks his daughter seeing him in bed (or at least knowing they were in bed) is ok, and not harmful or confusing. And why can't he give the key back? Gosh, this has turned out so awful for you. I guess the good news is it can only go up from here. And at least you've had some good news lately on the job front, I hope that the good stuff just keeps coming...
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You should change the locks. I'm so sorry that he isn't seeing the effect this will have on your daughter. But you are a great mom and she'll be okay with you to guide her and love her.
-------------------- ***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Good ...
#272090 - 07/02/06 04:41 AM
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Double J
Reged: 03/09/06
Posts: 900
Loc: High Rocky Mountains ibs-d
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Good that he's gone. And change the locks. It's easy and cheap, and will help to give you a peace of mind. He's keeping the keys because it gives him a sense of power over you. Do not let him wander in and out when it suits his fancy. Do not let him in at all when you are alone. When he has to come over to get or drop off your baby invite a friend to be there with you.
-------------------- Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
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You said it perfect!!
Quote:
What a F***ING JERK!!
now change the locks...
-------------------- www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Yes, change the locks and make him pay for it. Include it with the settlement etc. when you talk to they lawyers.
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eww the man needs a serious grip on reality.
Kayleigh may be a child still.. but children see a lot more than we'd expect.. and often they are the one that spend their lives with the resentment and hurt. He really needs to get a grip and SOON.
On a brighter note.. you got him out!
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go girl!!! glad he is out. Definately change the locks. Hope you are ok, your handling it brilliantly. sending you big huugles jo x
-------------------- http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere
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I hope he what he is doing has no ill-affects on Kaliegh. Children are very impressionable. Thank heavens he's OUT!!!
Chin up, and like everyone said, change the locks!
Cassandra
-------------------- Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Well thank God he's gone!!
Know it must still be difficult though, no matter what an a$$ he's proved himself to be, so big hugs!!
My first reaction was to yell 'change the locks, please!', but probably best to check first if that will have any impact on you legally, in the future. You want to get everything just right!
But for now, rejoice in your new freedom, and do you best to ignore what an idiot he's being - it must be heartbreaking watching him treat little Kayleigh with so little respect, but she'll suss that out for herself in time. Again, massive hugs darlin'!!
-------------------- http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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I don't want to hold her back from her daddy but you know, to limit it would be nice. I'm really thinking about putting her in daycare.
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What a pathetic loser. i hope some day he looks back and is utterly ashamed with himself. in fact, i hope that he sees this soon and gets depressed. But I doubt that it will happen soon. What a loser.
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I'd change the locks on my doors if I were you. You don't need him showing up whenever he dang well pleases. I'd be so mad too if I had to drop my daughter off and he had another woman there. I kind of have an idea of how you are are doing but how is your daughter doing? Poor little girl.
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That's it! Do not let your daughter see her father again without court supervision. No judge would go against that. Go to court instead of doing things through mediators.
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Hi Shannon,
OMG! That is so inappropriate! Did he tell you or did your daughter come home and tell you? Just be sure to tell your lawyer all about it I'm sure this will definitely go your way as far as full custody goes in divorce court.
Glad that he's out of the house now though! Jenn
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Some people are boils on the butt of humanity. Your little girl is going to be so confused. Grrr.
-------------------- ***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Shannon I am glad that he is gone and you can now move into a new chapter. Like the others said CHANGE THE LOCKS! It is SO wrong that he took Kayleigh into bed with him and lolita, TOTALLY offside.
Hang in there
-------------------- S.
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I wouldn't let my kid near him with a 100000000000 foot pole. I don't care if he's her father.. lots of men can be fathers.. but then again.. a lot of them suck!
I was lucky and have a fabulous father, but a lot of my girlfriends have crappy fathers and they are still to this day dealing with the pain and crap as a result of it.
That girl should NOT be in bed with him and his gf.. especially considering you aren't even divorced or legally seperated yet. Call a lawyer tomorrow and tell them about this. Also.. talk to kayleigh about it and see who she thinks this new girl really is?
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and he said he will tlak to Kay about the relationship he is having. What a total and utter [censored]. I really don't know what to do beyond this but I am disgusted. I married him because I thought he was made of moral cloth. Gee, why don't you all get NAKED now?
Ugh, just disgusted. my poor poor daughter. I want to move to the Ozarks or something.
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because she was staying over that night, and I said Please don't bring our daughter into bed with you two. that will hurt and confuse her.
He said he had no choice. No, the two couches downstaris wouldn't cut it eh? WTF!!! Yes it was 6 AM and yes he gets home at 2 but I DO NOT CARE! put your fing hussy AFTER your daughter!
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I don't know HOW but honestly, she doens't seem too affected. she is regressing a bit and having more tantrums but is fairly happy. She loves Daddy's new friend. Dirty friend.
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and saved it and dated it and explained what was said....to present to the lawyer. He's certainly not pushing to get a divorce though. I might now after this crap. I have not filed because my pastor wants me to make him do it, but this is very inappropriate behavior for an apparently 29 year old man. I wonder if he's not brain damaged.
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get new locks like everyone else said... but also talk to your lawyer even if you don' file for the formal divorce- get a court order preventing him from exposing your daughter to his GF until things are finalized at least, especially because if i remember correctly she is very young- young enough that it should be enough to use against him.. to be honest- his exposing her to that crap may cost him anything but supervised visitation in some states in the US...
-------------------- Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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All of this about bringing her into bed with them is totally DISGUSTING not to mention SICK. It will only strengthen your chances of full custody. I would also get a consultation with a psychologist for Kay. That has to be doing emotional damage to the poor sweetheart. Hugs, A.
-------------------- Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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She's probably too young to be anything else ... at the moment. It's likely the memories of this will cause her some trouble down the road, however.
Hello and sorry for the interruption. I've been lurking and following your story. Haven't felt a need to post, but this business with your husband's behavior around your little girl has me sputtering.
Isn't it common knowledge these days that it's best for single parents to NOT expose their children to people they're dating until a SERIOUS relationship is WELL underway? If your husband can't curb his ridiculous urges where you're concerned, can't he at least try to protect his own daughter from further trauma?
Haven't we figured out that beyond the divorce, it's damaging to children to have people entering and exiting their little lives, revolving door style, while daddy (or mommy) sows his/her wild oats? Of course your daughter likes daddy's new "friend" ... they're about the same age, aren't they?
She'll likely get attached to each and every one of daddy's new friends, and mourn the loss of each of them, too. It's not enough for him that he's done this to your family ... he wants to further traumatize his daughter by involving her with every wench he sees fit to date from here on out?
IMO he's really not a fit father at the moment, and while I would hate to remove him from her life (hopefully temporarily until he gets his head screwed on straight), I'd have to give it some serious thought.
Not only is he encouraging your little girl to get attached to women who will likely not be in his (or her) life for very long, but I also have to wonder how much actual attention he's paying to his daughter while his girlfriend is around.
In my experience, in men like your husband, testosterone trumps paternal urges every time. He and his new "friend" are at the beginning stages, which means they're likely all over each other all the time. Not only should your daughter not be exposed to all that, she should also not be ignored ... which logic leads me to believe is probably the case.
Whew! Again ... sorry for the interruption, and I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds, since I've never posted on any of your threads. I also don't mean to add to your sense of overwhelm during this very difficult time in your life. I would just hate to see your little daughter suffer more than she already has at the hands of her idiot father.
I'll shut up now ...
Keep the faith, girlfriend.
Jan
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Actually, you have echoed every single detail that I have expressed to dingle ballsabout my concerns. Glad to know I'm not alone in this absolute disgust. Can't wait till I tell my dad. I told his mom and she bawled him out then told me to never involve her in it agian. So there goes that relationship. Oh well I guess, i knew it wouldn't last.
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Nice to meet you, too.
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do you know how bad thats gonna look in the courts when you go?? well very bad...so i'd bring that up for sure!! change the locks on your doors, which i'm sure someone else has suggested...but just want to throw that in! i know alot of the in and outs of the court system, becuase i was there in the mix for about 2 years or so...i read alot and got a lot of information. though i'm in california, so i'm not sure if its the same for you,...but i feel for you big time!
hows the freedom??
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