Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Monkey bites, Elephant rides, a Thai prostitute, and a bike wreck! I'm back!

Some people opt for Rest&Relaxation on their trips, some go for the High Adventure. In this case, the High Adventure just found me. *angelic look*

Sigh, I seem to be a magnet for this kind of thing.

What a long strange trip it's been! I've enjoyed pristine beaches and jungles with bugs the size of your HEAD, a bareback elephant ride that definitely was not on the brochure, being attacked by a berzerk monkey who bit me 6-7 times on the leg (aren't we supposed to be safe at a ZOO??), plus a motorbike wreck that landed me in a Thai hospital for a couple days hooked up to electric voltage (think Frankenstein!).

But I did get daily massages from a Bangkok prostitute (plus Thai lessons), got to see a snake handler get bitten by a cobra during a demonstration, get promised a "free car" by a Thai scam ring (haven't received it yet), and got to spend some time in a Thai police station [witness Nelly on her BEST BEHAVIOUR possible!] as her BF gets cited for breaking considerable traffic laws (they took away his bike, and he got off LUCKY). He did eventually get the bike back after a few lectures. Hah.

So in all, by default, I took the High Adventure route.

Looking forward to a few days of rest and relaxation after that particular holiday!!!

Highlights Section

Welcome to our FAQ Section, skim at will!:

How is your leg? My bike scrapes and bruises are healing nicely. Thanks for asking!

Where are the pictures, Nelly? Pictures to follow.

Why did you spend so much time with a Bangkok prostitute? She was invited and so was I. So we got to speak a lot of Thai together. I had spent 3 months with my In-Flight Thai CD so I could hold together a vaguely gramatically identifiable sentance.

But she filled in the blanks nicely, and I imediately noticed that when we went shopping together, the prices she was quoted had considerably fewer zeros than anything offered me...

Plus she was always offering to rub my back, massage my hands and feet and massage my head. BF could take a page from that!

Did you get a massage every day, then? Yes.

What did you buy? Everything that wasn't nailed down. Lucky for my bank account, One Size Fits All is alive and well in southeeast Asia. So no clothes found their way back home exept for several ornamentally decorated white tunics I fell in love with. BF picked up all the Ecko and Diesel shirts he could find. I was more in the market for knicknacks, including bed silks, scarves, carved elephants and wooden fish, and more local art.

How about food? Yes! I managed to eat!! I avoided all dishes orange or red (expertly colored to no doubt warn the tourists about their radioactive ambient heat.) But I did eat well when I learned "mai peh" means "no spice"

So I did try a lot of traditional dishes containing boo, goon, gai, moo, mua, and blah (translation: crab, shrinp, chicken, pork, beef and fish). Gotta love languages. Next: Nely counts to 50.

OK, so that's the Cliffs Notes! Got a lot of stories and touristic insight, including an headscratching inquiry regarding the tendency fo the local hill tribes to trade their daily fish catch for heroin! Insight appreciated!

I'm going to try to post some pics today soon! Missed you all terribly!!!

~nelly~ (Back in America)

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