Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | oh I feel horrid...please-weigh in! TIA for replies

I've only read some of your posts but it sounds like your husband is acting very selfish and almost childish in refusing to enlighten you on anything. I just wanted to tell you what I've been through in the last few months and hope it gives you some optimism that life can move on and get better.
I was with my ex for 3 and a half years and I absoloutly adored him, he was what you would describe as a cheeky chappy with with an infectious smile. For the first year everything was great but suddenly he wanted to go out with the boys all the time, spending all weekend getting drunk with his mates and basically not sparing a thought for me. Sometimes he would actually arrange to spend a saturday night with me then phone me up when he was supposed to meet me and say he was going out with the boys instead, either that or turn up drunk! But he wasn't like that all the time (else why would I have stayed with him).
He would then start to use my IBS against me, making me feel like I was some kind of weirdo, he wouldn't understand why I wouldnt go out for a curry and just put up with feeling ill the next day, he would make ME!! feel like I was being unreasonable.
We broke up briefly a few times but he always begged me to come back, saying that he would change his attitude, needless to say he never did.
Well 2 months ago we decided to split, I was heartbroken but I couldn't spend my life feeling resentful and unhappy and second best to his friends, plus by this point I no longer trusted him as he started always keeping his mobile phone on silent.
Well after a few weeks of being on my own I started to get used to being on my own again, I still missed him terribly and would go to pieces if I thought about him or would get that sick feeling in my stomach if a song came on the radio that reminded me of him, but I was enjoying the fact I no longer felt on edge all the time waiting for the next argument or his next selfish act. At this point we were still friends and staying in touch, until last week........ Well I found out that he had been cheating on me several times throughout our relationship! I was gutted, I'd always thought he might have but to have it confirmed was like a knife through the heart. He found out I knew and kept trying to phone me and I just kept putting the phone down until I felt ready to talk, by which point I'd had all the closure I needed. I suddenly had this great moment of clarity and saw him for the person he was not the person I thought he used to be. I came to the conclusion that I am happier on my own than in a relationship that makes me feel rejected and inferior to someone all the time, and you know what its not as scary as I thought and i'm the least stressed I've been in a long time.
All I'm saying is try to step back and say to yourself do I love him for who he is now or am I in love with the person I thought he was or the person he used to be. Try to consider what would make you happy in the long run and try and stay strong. I really wish you all the best shannon x x x x x x

Print Remind Me Notify Moderator