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http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere
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god...when you hear about my week from hell its like we've both come out of a soap opera I swear! I never thought this kind of stuff happens in real life....I dont even know what to say apart from...NO ur not mad and YES he obviously is. I hope that if it is and Im guessing it must be with his depression...some kind of mental illness that he atleast has some support from somewhere where people can help him to get back to normal...that kind of behaviour could turn dangerous....well look what its already done. Im so sorry hunny that you're having to deal with this too...I understand completely how you're feeling trying to be the supportve one...have felt like that for so long now. Hang in there and I hope things will work out...I have no words of wisdom but to be there for J's family and ofcourse J himself...this is going to be a trying time for all of you...and I just hope that his sister manages to rebuild her life.
Sendings lots and lots of hugs your way.
(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
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 Natalie
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Hey Blondie,
What a horrible situation. Having lost members of my family and almost lost quite a few more to cancer, I cannot even try to comprehend the mindframe of someone who would PRETEND to have cancer for... for what? Attention? I just don't get it.
I think that he must have *serious* psychological problems that your boyfriends sister will not be able to help him fix.
To invest cancer, and testicular cancer as well, for no apparent reason really is sick...
If I knew him, I don't think I could stop myself from marching right up to him and smacking him until he gets it into his head that he has done something more disrespectful and completely disgusting than I would have assumed any normal human being could do.
As for "C", hopefully being around her friends should bring her around a little bit. I mean, if he would lie about CANCER, what else has he been lying or will he lie about in the future? He has set the bar *pretty high* on the lengths he is willing to go to.
I do feel sorry for her, she must be in awful shock. I can't imagine thinking that Adrian had cancer and going through all the emotions associated with that, only to have him go, "Gotcha!" I don't think I could ever forgive him for putting me (and my family!) through that.
As for advice, I don't really have any because it seems like what's done is done and there isn't really anything you *can* do. I mean, other than be there for your boyfriend and support him while he reacts however he will with his sister.
Good luck, let us know how it goes.
*hugs*
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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blondie i`ll email you back soon, having a bad ibs attack right now....urrrrrrrrrrrrgh...and after all i said about being fine and i have my interview tomo. urrrrrrrrrrrrgh
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http://www.myspace.com/jo_elsmere
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and she needs to get away while she can, but she cold have her own mental issues and be codependant on him at this point
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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OMG Blondie that is crazy weird. Serious pschological issues. Don't know what to say. Poor C, and poor Jamie and his family. Hugs
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S.
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OH MY GOSH! I cannot believe this story!!
I think she needs to leave him and fast. yeah they've been together 8 years but how much of that 8 years has been a blatant lie. I understand that she may love him, but if hehas the propensity to lie about such serious things, I can imagine how much worse it could get in the future. A simple I'm nervous about getting married and have cold feet would suffice.
It makes me sad as well to think that she is codependent on him thinking she can't do any better, and that the 8 years together should solidify her choice. Now, I'm not a total feminist in any way, however, I hate how girls nowadays think that they need a man in their life to feel important and worthwhile. In my opinion, any man that would lie to you to that degree isn't worth it. She needs to realize that she would be better without him, and that what he's done was unforgivable. It scares me that now adays more and more girls can't see that, and instead go back to the same guys in fear of being left alone. I'd rather be alone than with a liar.
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What is happening to men this month??
Wow, that is truly messed up. It sounds like he has factitious disorder, or Munschhausen's complex. Obviously he got away with lies when he was a child, and it's just built from there.
Here is the link on factitious disorders: For the chronic liar jerk in your life(my label).....
Hmm, hard for me to give advice when I'm still living with my ex who's warped too....(at least I'm calling him my ex and took my rings off... )but I would tell her he needs to sort his crap out alone before SHE even thinks about getting involved in therapy with him. He's likely had a very damaging childhood and has very little self esteem, so he has MAJOR stuff to work out before he can even be stable in a relationship, let alone get to a point of trust with anyone.
And that's going to take a long while.
I doubt I could forgive-Lying is the biggest freaking deal to me!!! Trevor was always so honest until I found out about the girl...and her age, and that he'd lied. That's what cemented my breakup with trevor, though we're still cohabiting for a few weeks.
Hugs and prayers for you all. How awful.
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Shannon :) (06/03/06 02:34 PM)
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Would not go near him with a ten foot pole. Would do everything in my power to see that C never went near him again either. No hassle over breaking up will equal the amount of pain and suffering yet to come as clearly demonstrated by these discoveries. Unbelievable!
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You all obviously share my/our thoughts on the matter, and it has been really reassuring to know not only that we are not 'overreacting' to what he's done, but also that you agree that he definitely, definitely has serious psychological / mental issues. Whilst that on it's own wouldn't merit ending a relationship/marriage ("in sickness and in health" surely covers psychological illness as well as physical), combined with the way he has been treating C over the full duration of their relationship, and also the severity of what he has done - leaving them without a house, with massive debts, etc, all things together surely seem to merit ending the relationship.
We're all prepared to be there for her for as long as she needs us, and even though we're struggling for money ourselves we sent some up to her a couple of days ago to help her through this.
AND we have had our first lot of 'positive' news this morning - C has agreed to 'come home'! J's mum and her husband have hired a van, and are heading up there as we speak to bring her and her stuff back to their place. Now at this point I know no details - for example I have no idea how long she intend to stay, or whether she's made a decision, or anything like that - but it is DEFINITELY a step in the right direction.
So, again, thanks everyone - as always your support has been invaluable! And I'll keep you updated.
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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