I'm super blue today. Need your help!
#264519 - 05/20/06 11:45 AM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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Augh, I'm having a sad day today. I am not sure how to get out of it.
It's so hard to deal with things-I've been with friends or family at all times this week so as to not have to be alone (well, always have my little princess with me)... and Trevor has been working so there's not a lot of time to talk and I really don't think he's ready to talk.
His mom agrees that he's mixed up really bad right now, and that some counselling would help him so much. Aside from ripping my heart out, I still feel so badly for him. We haven't said the D word yet, and I'm sure he's not taking care of legal things, as he told us he was here till at least September, or longer if needed.
It's hard to hope though, when he's not wearing his ring, and not able to talk. He is however, sleeping in the bed with me, and just fine to sit with me and watch TV together. He comes home after work,too. He sure doesn't have to.
I don't want to push him but I want him to see that I care about his needs as well. Help!! I had a habit of pushing guys away in the past and do NOT want to go down that road.
I'm sorry I'm putting this on all of you, but the more input i have, the better I will be.
thanks in advance.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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...but I wanted you to know I read your post & I'm thinking of you and your family.
I'm so glad his family and friends are supportive of you. Maybe they can help him "see the light."
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That's my biggest hope. thanks for replying. 
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it does mean a lot when anyone posts.
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Shannon...first and foremost PRAY! I have been there...twice...and it is no fun. Expect to go through all the stages of grief as you are mourning your relationship right now. Which is not to say that it can't heal because it can. You are processing...
I would encourage you to keep busy...take Kayleigh to the mall...go buy something sexy, treat yourself to a pedicure.
When things were really bad between my husband and yet I knew that he was going to stay, I went to Victoria's Secret, spent way too much money on something "special yet tasteful" and sent it to his office by courrier with a note on it that said "call me if you want to see me in this tonight".
Doing something like that was way out of my comfort zone but it was my attempt to meet him half-way. Having been in a loveless marriage for a few years, how is one supposed to feel amorous toward a brick? It worked!
Shannon...if you aren't subbing right now, why not join his waitstaff at the restaurant? You could pinch his booty as he went by  or just flirt with him a little. It can't hurt and it would be a little cash in your pocket.
When my husband "almost left" and I was in my cubicle crying for weeks on end, my co-workers wanted to throttle him and call him a jerk (and worse). The truth of the matter is that we both had something to do with the deterioration of our marriage, it wasn't just him. Sooo...I felt that I needed to step out of the box a bit and do my part. It worked...
I hope this helps...my heart really goes out to you. I DO understand as I have been there.
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Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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cos im only 21 and never had any serious relationship stuff like this to deal with....but I just wanted you to know...and I know Ive said it already...but Im thinking of you at the moment..and sending lots of good wishes your way....stay strong......
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
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Natalie
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Rachel...
#264534 - 05/20/06 12:30 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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I'm in a real bind because he doens't like sexy lingerie! Isn't that odd?? He loves seeing me in PJs, and that's what I wear.
I am subbing full time actually, I have taken the week off right now to cope with things-well, actually, I ahve taken a couple days off and we had a very long weekend.
I love working on his serving staff. We've done that before and it's worked out well. right now that's not where he is and I know he needs his space. So what I need are very very suimple things that don't involve me being in his face, know what I mean??
I absolutely have hope. I am praying like mad.
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nm
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Shannon, I think it's finally hit you and it's overwhelming which is to be expected. Try not to panic and give him his space - he sure seems to need it.
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