Most Embarassing IBS Stories
#260817 - 05/01/06 10:18 AM
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I know this thread has been done before, but since there are so many new people (and I'm trying to get back into posting more!), I thought I'd share my weekend embarassing IBS story.
On Friday night, I woke up at my boyfriend's house around midnight feeling really nauseous. So I clumsily got out of bed (surprisingly, my boyfriend slept through the whole thing!) and the last thing I remember is stumbling into the bathroom. The next thing I know, I'm waking up from passing out with my head in a cat's litterbox.  The D quickly followed, but I was just so mortified at taking a nose dive into the really gross litterbox that I immediately jumped into the shower afterwards to wash my hair. 
Left side of my face still hurts, but luckily no visible bruise! My friend (boyfriend's roommate's girlfriend) was trying so hard not to laugh when I told her the next morning because it's her cat's litterbox!
So I am finding the whole thing humorous today and thought I'd share - and see who else has an embarassing IBS story! Here is the old thread with some really funny stories: web page.
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- Jennifer
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This isn't really too embarassing, but kinda funny. My friend was giving me a lift home and about half way through the trip, I'm like, "Oh, [expletive]. I don't think I'm gonna make it!"
There's nowhere to stop and we're both trying to make idle conversation while I'm trying to clench my butt as hard as I can. I'm clenching so hard that I coulda cracked a walnut with my cheeks. My hips are thrust forward and I'm pretty much doing a variation of male kegel exercises. It's funny how the urgency of the situation puts things in perspective: every red light, every car, every speed limit sign becomes the enemy - preventing me from reaching my porcelain destination.
Finally, I arrive at my apt, briskly make my way to the elevators, doing the "diarrhea dance" all the way up to the 14th floor...
...I begin walking to my door and then burst into an all out sprint. I being fumbling for my keys, panic begins to set in. By divine grace I get the key in the lock without hesitation, door flies open, coat is ripped off my back and flung to the floor, belt is thrown across the living room, shirt is torn off and lying in the sink. Stomach is spasming wildly; voluntary control is fading.
Not even fully seated, the digestive system realizes "meh, he's close enough" and I manage to just make it. Barely. About 250 milliseconds away from buying new pants.
/Sigh
I'm pretty sure we've all been there before, but sometimes it helps to know that you're not the only one. 
Regards,
EvilCats
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Yuck, I have one...
So, to set the scene - I've been seeing my new boyfriend only a couple of months, and it's our first night away somewhere together. We go to Manchester (UK) and have a fantastic night out in the city's bars and clubs, and treat ourselves by staying in this really posh 'Apartment Hotel' - all in all we have a perfect night. I was dosed up on LOTS of Immodium, as at the time I hadn't been diagnosed with IBS, but had learnt from experience that D could strike at any moment. The next morning we have a lovely lie in, get up and have a leisurely breakfast - unfortunately it's a full English breakfast (sausages, fried bread, fried eggs, baked beans, bacon, etc) and at the time I didn't know what that would do to my system. At that point I also thought that taking that many Immodium the night before would 'bung me up' for the next day - which was backed up by the fact that no matter how much I pushed, groaned and squirmed on the toilet I couldn't get a BM out. We checked out of the hotel and began the 5 minute walk to the nearby multi-storey car park to Jamie's car. After a couple of minutes I got 'that' feeling - the one I now know means I have just minutes to get to the toilet. I tell him I need the toilet but he points out the hotel doors locked behind us (it's big on security) and there's nowhere round with a public toilet. He points out that once we reach his car it's only a ten minute drive to the out of town hotel where we left my car, and I could use the toilet at the restaurant there. I'm not convinced but realise I have no other option.
Anyway, we get in the grotty lift in the car park, and begin the climb to the sixth floor. Unfortunately in the time that took I move from 'needing the toilet' to 'I'm about to crap in my pants, and worse, it's definitely diarrhoea'. I have to tell him, even though we're still pretty new to each other. We reach the sixth floor, and he says I need to go 'do it' behind one of the cars. We pick a shiny new red expensive sports car (someone with that much money deserves a 'surprise' surely?  ) He goes to wait in the car, and I pull down my jeans and panties and squat behind the car, cheeks burning as I'm sure there's CCTV in the car park. But what can I do? There's no way I can wait ten minutes to get to the restaurant - and if I tried and failed I'd muck up his lovely car!! So I go... And when I say go, I mean GO - hardly surprising considering our breakfast, our big meal the night before and all the alcohol I'd drunk. I literally explode (sorry TMI! ), so I just make sure I get it all out, get a sanitary towel out of my bag to wipe myself (I hadn't learnt at that point to carry tissues...), and pull my jeans up.
Yes, it gets worse - I'd got a bit of poo on the side of my jeans! I found a leaflet in my bag and use it get as much off as possible, but it STINKS! And I now have to go sit in his car. I do 'the walk' all the way over to his car, feeling dirty and embarrassed, and sit in it gingerly, squashing my ankles together to try to suppress the smell from the inside of one of them.
I have NEVER been so embarrassed!!! Can you imagine?!! Thankfully Jamie found it hilarious, and we went on to realise we were meant for each other - we're still together today, about 20 months on, and he's still supportive and understanding. We still have the occasional laugh about that incident! 
I can't believe I just shared that...
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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Oh no!!!!!!! Yuck and poor you.
One of my most embarassing ibs moments HAS to be plugging an overflowing a work bathroom one morning. It was horrible.
Another close one also involves work. I was in a meeting with my boss and another coworker when I had the urge to go. I excused myself making it seem like I would only go for a quick pee and blamed it on too much tea. Nope, I had the D and was gone for 20 mins. When I got back, their looks said it all. UGH!
WAIT ---- How could I forget this?? My WORST moment was at a dance club with some friends. It was 3am and the club just closed. So we started walking to my car. Then it hit, the D. I an back to the club with my friend and spent 15 mins in the bathroom. Ugh!
We still had to get home so I ATTEMPTED to drive us to her place so I could drop her off. It was 10 mins of HELL as I could barely keep it in. As soon as we got to her place I raced up the stairs to her bathroom and spent another 20 mins in there. UGH!!! She has another friend with ibs so she's been through this often and it didn't phase her AT ALL!
Funny thing is by the time I got home I no longer had to go and was able to go to sleep. Why couldn't my bowels have waited to act up until I got home? 
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WOW! That's HORRIBLE!! I would have died!!!
You two are definitely meant to be together!!! Wonderful! 
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Thanks! I think so too - sometimes, when I'm having a really bad attack, he comes and sits in the bathroom and reads to me!! And he's always on hand for shoulder rubs and head massages, etc, when I'm feeling pants...
Sometimes I forgot how lucky I am!
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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That is amazing! He's a keeper.
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a friend's mother was new in this country and meeting her in-laws for the first time. She got the feeling that she had to go, but I guess the bathroom was busy. She went to her bedroom and got a plastic bag out of her suitcase. She did what she had to do in the bag, and then, when she lifted it up, realized that it was perforated and flowing like a fountain of D.
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Ooooh!! How terrible! 
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Oh no!! That's truly awful! Poor girl, that must've been so embarrassing.
(I also once had to go in a plastic bag, but mercifully I was in my own car, on my own, in a very secluded spot, and they were no holes in my bag - thank goodness!)
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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